


In defence of perfect faces and impromptu sing-along

by jarofactonbell



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Meddling Friends, OngNiel is science, a lot of mentioned members from other kpop groups, a lot of roasting but they are needed, here comes the slow burn, kim jaehwan is bad at romance, mentioned! jren, probably more characters to be added i just haven't got around to doing that, screaming as a form of communication, very bad attempt at being serious, why have a cheerleading squad when you have friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2018-12-23 19:39:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 66,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11996610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarofactonbell/pseuds/jarofactonbell
Summary: In which Jaehwan is the campus matchmaking power house who does not want this title and can fix anyone's relationship but his own crush on Hwang Minhyun.featuring: Ongniel being puppies together, the gossip mill of the university campus as a legitimate force of destruction, deephwi high-key flirting, objects thrown into faces of people, random singing and quotations at the most inappropriate time





	1. Of long time feelings and first impressions

**Author's Note:**

> I have tried but oops? I wrote another Wanna One fic please love my baby and give me lots of comments. Comments give me motivation and life.

There is a rite of passage people go through in this university.

Ong Seungwoo or Hwang Minhyun. Arguably the two most beautiful males on campus.

Haters will claim  _what about Kang Daniel? Or Bae Jinyoung? Or that dashing Zhengting from overseas?_ but they are lying to themselves. At some point during their university life, everyone had a crush on Ong Seungwoo or Hwang Minhyun (or if you're easily impressed and infatuated with every pretty person you met  ~~Daehwi~~ , you might have crushed on both). They are puppy crushes, not meant to last beyond a year and a half. People eventually become desensitised to Minhyun's princely aura and Seungwoo's jawline and pursue a more reachable romantic interest. 

Which makes Kim Jaehwan, music and business major, an abnormality. 

Why?

He's in second year, way beyond the mark of one year and a half, yet his crush on Hwang Minhyun still has not gone away.

His friends describe faded feelings like autumn leaves falling off tree branches (Hyeongseob) or ocean waves washing across sand (Eunki). To be completely honest, Jaehwan prided himself on never crushing on Ong at any point in time, virtue of growing up with the guy and seeing him in all his awkward teenage glory to ever see beyond the purple and blue bruised-battered kid who got into fights with the neighbourhood cats. Their mothers were friends, they bonded on being forced to interact since the womb and getting into fights up to the ages of five where a reluctant truce and eventual tolerance and grudging care developed. It's not that Jaehwan isn't any better himself, but Ong is weird _and_ loud. He makes Jaehwan's relatively normal life a storm of  _Jaehwannie I found a dog let's feed it ice cream_ and  _let's buy Mentos and drop them all in a bath full of Coke._ Seungwoo since had grown into a beautiful man with a face sculpted by heavenly goodness and spring's first breath, but his personality is like a five-year-old who raided the pantry and took a shot of caffeine at 4 am. Nowhere in heaven or earth will he ever develop a crush on that nerd.

But back to his impending doom, Hwang Minhyun.

The point of puppy crushes is that they last for a short time. Beyond the designated 18 months mark, it becomes somewhat close to the dreaded  _obsession_ label that he does not want to wear. Jaehwan is now on par with the three girls who consistently chase after Minhyun for three years and counting. It's a silly little thing that he shouldn't concern himself with, with midterms rolling around and his performance piece is not polished yet, notes all out of pitch and grossly arranged.

That does not give him reason enough to come to the library to study ~~stalk.~~ No Hwang Minhyun to be found here or anything...

Jisung did give him this look before he left the house. Jaehwan will not acknowledge the exasperation in those eyes of his hyung, who probably doesn't want him to suffer any longer for a silly crush. But does Jaehwan listen? Never. If he going to suffer, then he will. Love is love and when it calls, Jaehwan answers.

But in his defence, he is actually studying for his business test coming up. The performance for music had sapped him of all thoughts of business besides a vague Jisung-shaped nagging in his head of _you have to study otherwise you'll lose your scholarship_. He is, but not very well. There are words that don't sound like they're actual words and he has too many books open to study productively.

There is a clatter of chairs nearby and Jaehwan knows by the footsteps that Minhyun's tutoring session is over. Footsteps. Fuck. He sounds like a full-fledged stalker now. Next he'll know who it is by the sound of their breath. 

 _I told you this is getting too far_  the Daehwi-shaped hole sneers at him.

"Shut up Daehwi, you're a hypocrite. You can't even ask for Jinyoung's number and you mock me. Guess what, sucker," he pulls the spine of the marketing and profit tome out, "I have his number and you don't."

"I don't think books can have people's numbers," a voice says. Jaehwan nearly drops the book. He clutches it to his chest and turns to face the person standing nearby. Hair swept aside to reveal light brown eyes and high cheekbones. A really pretty voice. 

"I can write my number in here and that sentence will be revoked," he snorts, "try again, pretty boy."

"Thanks, but I doubt you're actually interested in me," the boy answers breezily. Jaehwan cringes at the gigantic wink tossed his way. "My point is proven."

"How do you know? I could be weirdly flirting with you and you'll open this book right the minute I left and copy down my number to creepily stare at it," he counters.

"Were you hoping to meet Minhyun hyung's via that age-old method of telegraphy?" The boy snickers. Jaehwan's face morphs into an expression of utter dismay and shock. At being discovered for stalking, but also being mocked for being old-fashioned.

"What?"

"Heard from my boyfriend that there might be an," the boy puts a long finger under his chin, "he said _admirer,_ but I'm assuming he meant _stalker,_ nearby where my tutoring session is. So I went to check and there you are."

Jaehwan hates the boyfriend. He hates the gossip mill of this godforsaken university even more.

"Who's the boyfriend?" He asks, putting the book down and dusting himself. There's a smile blooming on the boy's face and suddenly Jaehwan can see cherry blossom petals suspending in a halo around the guy's eyes.

"Eunki," he breathes and giggles.

Jaehwan cannot believe this.

"Hong Eunki. As in the most dramatic little shit next to Ong, _Hong Eunki? That_ one?"

"He's adorable," the guy smiles dopily.

"What the actual fresh banana basket," he looks to god, "why can't I get a boyfriend? Why can't I get over my stupid damn crush? Even Eunki is capable of scoring hotties. Where does that leave me?"

"My boyfriend is hilarious and sexy as fuck in black skinny jeans, excuse you."

Jaehwan pulls an unimpressed face. The boy had completely disregarded his self hate soliloquy and only focused on his boyfriend instead. Typical.

"Zhengting-ah? We should wrap up our session. We both have a class next," Minhyun calls out from two shelves away. He wasn't stalking or anything, but he did wander quite a bit to where the tutoring session was and situated himself close enough to listen. The beauty of these shelves is that he can do that while hidden away. At being near discovery for stalking his crush, Jaehwan ducks in instinct, hiding behind Zhengting.

Zhengting. He knows that name.

"Wait, Zhengting, as in the Chinese dream boat? The one everyone's thirsting after?" He pulls the sleeve down to stare at the Chinese boy who winks at him exaggeratedly. "I do not see the appeal," he immediately deadpans. 

"It's all in the eyes and the cheekbones, stalker-ssi."

"Oh shush. I'm Kim Jaehwan. Do not let it leak. Don't tell Eunki, he'll broadcast it to the entire campus. I am leaving and you will pretend like you're talking to yourself," he throws papers and books into his messenger bag. "And stop smiling!"

"Bye stalker-ssi!"

 

"Okay, I mean I understand, but I also think it's the stupidest shit you could've pulled out of all the stupid things you could have done," Ong tells him over a muffin and a packet of Doritos. Jaehwan kicks him under the table and the boy cackles, dodging easily despite long limbs.

"How do people know that there's someone thirsting after Minhyun? Did any of you shits get loud mouth and tell people about my crush," he stabs a Dorito in front of Seungwoo's eyes threateningly, trying to be threatening but succeeding as much as looking like a wet dog. Ong chews loudly on his chips. 

"But people just notice things, you know? Sooner or later they'll start noticing," the dark haired boy shrugs.

"Like the prince's fan club," Jaehwan hangs his head. "They're fucking crazy."

"Hwang Minhyun is our only ideal type who is unreachable to the public. Violation of this sacred law will result in immediate actions by the association to the offender," Ong reads from the Facebook page. 

"I'm going to die a painful death, Ong-ssi," he cries.

"Also we might be snitches, but we look after our own. No one said anything partly because of the crazy assholes that stalk Minhyun hyung. We had to make up stupid ass lies to cover for your stalker ass. At some point Daehwi pretended like he sent you over to stalk Minhyunn for him and he got shit from the prince's fan clubs for weeks."

"Shit, what happened?"

"I told them to stop. I might or might not have mentioned that I have student council power to forcibly cease their," Seungwoo air quotes, "club activities. That worked miracles. But they still throw Daehwi dirty looks."

"You're not even on the student council."

Ong grins, full teeth on display.

"Ong you're making me cry. You did all of this stupid shit for me and I keep thinking you're a shitty friend. Remind me to treat you all to food on the basketball game this Friday."

Seungwoo cheers, nearly knocking the table over and Jaehwan steadies it, catching the muffin and bag of chips while collapsing on the table at the same time. "Can you not."

"Kids nowadays, no more respect for their elders," tuts his friend. "Jinyoungie! Sit, sit!"

Bae Jinyoung turns his head to their direction and shyly walks over, bowing swiftly at both of them, soft doe eyes smiling prettily even under shitty lighting. 

"You're coming to the basketball games, yes? You can't say no you know Guanlinie wants you there," Jaehwan offers the chips to Jinyoung who takes a handful. "Also Daehwi is cheerleading and if you're coming we get to goad him into a miniskirt."

"I'm coming," Jinyoung agrees straight away. Ong cheers through a mouthful of muffin and spits out a raisin. 

 "Young love," he sighs, "how gross."

 

In the end they did force Daehwi into a skirt and it's unfair how some people look amazing in whatever clothes they wear. The girls on the cheerleading team sob and coo over little Daehwi who looks dashing and adorable in their red and gold colours, some ~~Momo and Seulgi~~ even took commemorative photos. Jaehwan and Seungwoo hold similar solemn expressions, afraid to make alterations to their faces in fear that they'll start cackling once the neutral resting bitch faces melt off.

Jinyoung walks by with the basketball team members and whistles loudly. Daehwi's ears burn bright red and he hides his face behind his pom poms. 

At this point everyone is cheering loudly. Someone screams "Kiss the boy!" and there's a bad rendition of _Kiss the girl_ from _The Little Mermaid_ in the background somewhere which he suspects is Sungwoon's doing. No one's that loud next to Jaehwan. Ong is a close second.

"Oh my god, Kang Daniel," Seungwoo clutches his arm. Jaehwan squints, trying to locate the familiar patch of pink hair and does a double take as a brown-haired Daniel approaches them, trademark flannel sitting comfortably on wide shoulders. Seungwoo and he spare a look at the boy's thighs in those jeans and Seungwoo hides behind him, despite being taller. He flashes a smile at Daniel.

"Damn," he tells the boy, "get out. You're hot, but unfortunately there can only be one hot person and that person is me. This is my kind warning for you, pleb. Leave before I karate kick you." 

Daniel giggles, full bunny teeth popping over his lips and Seungwoo squeaks slash squeals behind him. Daniel raises his dark brows and points to Seungwoo, face conveying the question of why is there a guy hiding behind you. Jaehwan smiles uncomfortably.

 _'Oh my god he's looking my way,'_ Seungwoo squeals two octaves higher than his normal voice. _'Do something.'_

 _'Get yourself together. I ain't becoming the campus matchmaking service, bitch,"_ he tells his friend through his teeth, smile still attached on his face.

 _"What if he thinks I'm weird?"_ Ong whispers back harshly.

"Hey Danny, I gotta go check up on Jisung-hyung because he has to carry the food all by himself," he pulls himself away from Ong who gives him a betrayed expression behind his shoulder. "You should have a chat to Ong. Ong, Daniel, Daniel, Ong Seungwoo. I'm sure you've heard of each other. Play nice. Don't look for me too much we ordered a lot of food."

Jaegwan pushes Seungwoo to Daniel and runs, before his friend could throw something at him. Jisung looks confused as Jaehwan helps carry baskets of snacks and drinks up to the bleachers with him, too used to only Sungwoon helping. 

"I introduced Daniel to Seungwoo," he grins maniacally. 

"Was the miniskirt you too?" Jisung hums, not even bothering to look up. Jaehwan suppresses a crazy cackle.

"For someone so good at directing others' romantic lives, how come you're still stuck in the mud for yours?"

"Hyung please."

"I'm just saying. It's much better when feelings are reciprocated. It's doing you more harm than good, this obsession with Minhyun. You should consider just letting it go."

"I know, but," Jaehwan looks at Guan Lin getting three shots in the basket in a row for a practice game, "I'd rather hurt than not feel at all."

"Whatever suits you, kiddo," Jisung rubs the back of Jaehwan's neck.

 


	2. Of spitfire interaction and miniskirts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I present to you:  
> \- The bullying squad  
> \- Daehwi in a skirt and being cute  
> \- Jinhwi  
> \- Sungwoon being loud and Taehyun apologising to the entire galaxy  
> \- Jaehwan being badass and protective of his hyung  
> \- Ong's proclamation of being gay  
> \- Minhyun's fan club and complications  
> \- Ongniel is my religion  
> \- Jisung is a precious bean  
> \- Jinyoung being so boyfriend it hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry there are too many things happening but it just escalated and here we are with a weird ending.
> 
> I apologise to the whole world honestly.

"Lai Guanlin you're so cool!" Sungwoon summons his loudest pitch and hauls the chant over the heads of people who are taller than him even though they're sitting down.

"Guanlin you're the biggest hit on this stage!" Jaehwan chimes in.

"Lai Guanlin marry me!" Ong adds and cackles madly next to him. 

"Hyung say something," Jaehwan and Ong look over to Jisung who contemplates a rile to the newest and tallest addition to their friend group. "Anything."

"I WANT YOU TO HAVE MY BABY LAI GUANLIN!" Jisung screams. The basketball Guanlin was aiming at the hoop fell onto someone's head from the other team. The entire bleacher is stunned into silence for a whole second. Jisung groans and hides into Jaehwan's shoulder. Ong is too shocked, mouth hanging open to even laugh. Somewhere vaguely in Sungwoon's direction, Jaehwan can hear choking sounds.

"Let's run away into the sunset together Guanlin-ah!" Daniel calls out, sharing the burden of shame from Jisung. Already he can hear his hyung mumble an approval of the boy's personality.

Everyone starts to laugh and cheer at the same time, shaking off the shock from the comments. Jaehwan can't get a breath in with how much he's laughing. Seungwoo alternates between being smitten from looking at Daniel's trademark eye smile and doubling over laughing. Sungwoon and his choir of classical singers start to chant _Guanlin is our king_ , replacing every Ron Weasley with Lai Guanlin.

    _Guanlin is our King,_
    _Guanlin is our King,_
    _He didn't let the shots get in_
    _Guanlin is our King._

    _Guanlin can save anything,_
    _He never leaves a single ring,_
    _That's why we can all sing:_
    _Guanlin is our King._

"Shut the fuck up!" Guanlin screeches back, face all red, even his ears. "You're all terrible friends. This is bullying."

"Tough love is still love, baby!" He waves. "Your cute ass better win!"

"Just stop screaming at me," Guanlin runs to the court.

 

Needless to say, Guanlin wins the first segment, scoring points after points behind the far line. Jaehwan is not a good enough sportsman to commentate on the specifics, but seeing his child runs unhindered and freely scoring riles a sense of deep pride within him. Along with the rest of the university supporters, he stands up roaring cheers for the ending of the first segment.

The cheerleading squad make their dramatic entry onto the middle of the stadium via tumbling and some complicated acrobatic tricks. Daehwi with ears as red as the pom poms, does a cute peace sign (which all of them roar at encouragingly) and promptly blows a kiss at the audience.

There is a loud gasp and everyone whips their head to see Jinyoung with a hand over his mouth, not even bothering to hide his smile. The whistles erupt like wildfire and Jinyoung unashamedly meets all of their eyes, challenging them to fight him. Down below Daehwi whines and tries to hide.

"That's my boy!" He shrieks for both Jinyoung and Daehwi.

"Slay!" Sungwoon screeches.

"You're all so fucking loud," Jisung laughs over the cacophony. Jaehwan throws an arm over his hyung's head and an arm over Ong, pulling them together roughly and cackling at their playful protests. "Stop, Jae-yah!"

 

"Let's go Guanlin let's go!" Sungwoon screams.

"Shut up Sungwoon, shut up!" Comes the reply.

"Don't be ungrateful!"

"Go away you short tomato stalk!"

He gasps in disbelief at the blatant disrespect this kid has for him. Taehyun's munching next to him only increases in intensity and Sungwoon kicks him.

A hand taps him on the shoulder. "Excuse me, Ha-nim?"

"Yo what's up?" Sungwoon turns and meets one of the most sought-out guys, Hwang Minhyun, on the university campus face to face. "How can I help you?"

"I was wondering where I could find a Yoon Jisung. I asked around and people told me to find you," Minhyun speaks in the extremest polite voice ever. Sungwoon shudders, too used to children literally swearing at him.

"Don't be too polite, I'm only a few months older. He should be a couple of rows near the front to the left side. Why did you need to see him?"

"For my referencing for my Masters research. Thank you, hyung-nim," Minhyun bows and descends quickly down the stairs, shoes tapping lightly on concrete.

"Why don't people call me hyung-nim anymore," he turns to ask Taehyun who shoves popcorn into his mouth in lieu of answer. "Ya!"

 

"Hyung apparently there's someone looking for you," Ong squints at the text he's been given, "Jihoon overheard Seonho screaming."

Jisung sits up, still under Jaehwan's arm, eyes searching the crowd. "Who is it?"

"Why do you look like I told you I didn't water your cactus?" Seungwoo snorts.

"Because I would know before you told me anyways," Jisung replies without missing a beat. Jaehwan jeers at Ong's flustered explanation and gesticulations. "Who, Seungwoo?"

"Why are you so on edge, hyung?" He pulls his arm away. "Seonho is highly unreliable. He communicates by screaming."

"Oh wait shit," Ong stands up, "Hyung hyung how do you know the guy oh my god." 

Daniel turns around with his friends and all they all give Seungwoo this half worried half disturbed look. Seungwoo scans around and his voice goes up to an unnatural whistle register, arms flapping around.

Jaehwan turns to where his fingers are pointing to and flinches. The Prince's Fan Club had arrived and people avoid looking at them in the eye or making bodily contact with them. Which, by logic and common sense alone, Hwang Minhyun is at the basketball game.

"Sit down, both of you. He's probably asking me about his Masters. Sit," Jisung tugs on the edge of Seungwoo's jacket. "Down boy."

"Hyung why are you so scared of them? They're whiny teens who think their obsession with one guy make them better than everyone else," Jaehwan holds his hyung's hand, sweat pouring from the palms. "Breathe, Jisung-hyung. Come on, eyes on my face."

"Jisung-ssi?" A voice asks.

"Oh mother of Christ," Ong breathes in. "We're so fucked."

The president of the Fan Club, dubbed the Messiah of the Hwang Minhyun religion, Victoria Kim, smiles at them, all white teeth and plump Kylie Jenner lips. Jaehwan eyes her nails warily. Ong meets the girl's stare evenly, a bit too calmly.

"Hello Victoria," Ong greets.

"Hi Seungwoo-ssi. May I speak to Jisung-ssi in private? It won't take long."

"It's not that important, is it?" Ong snorts

"Then he's staying," Jaehwan shifts to have his shoulder nearly covering Jisung who clutches his hand tightly. He squeezes back and pats the boy's knee. Victoria smiles even wider.

"I don't think Jisung-ssi would appreciate me disclosing private matters here in the open."

"Girl he has all his drunk moments immortalised on Facebook and Snapchat. Everyone here saw him dressed up as a granny. No one would actually care," Jaehwan scoffs. The girl's face falls slightly.

"But did you know that he claims to be the protector of all students yet walked away from his own mistakes? Indecently exposing both him and his partner in a classroom and I happened to walk past. He left the girl there and ran away."

She snaps her fingers, triumphant. Jaehwan looks at Seungwoo who squints at her.

"Kim, I don't know how well you keep in touch with the rumour mill, but you're a bit off there," Ong coughs, "hyung is ace."

"He's still stripping girls in lecture halls isn't he?" She stabs a manicured hand to Jisung. "A fucking liar is what he is. You're all liars too, covering for him."

"Did you run, hyung?' He asks Jisung gently who nods, head down. "Why?"

"Oh you're so great and wise, Kim-ssi, enlightening us mortals," Ong broadcasts and stares down harshly at the girl who meets his glare. "Why stop there, tell everyone I'm gay too!"

With the shock of the entire audience, Jaehwan turns to Jisung and extracts an explanation from his hyung.

"She said the club wanted her to be half-naked in the hall in case I walk by so that I would be framed when I come help her," Jisung hiccups. "I was in a hurry because your recital was literally in five minutes, so I apologised to her and gave her my jacket. I came to the staff room afterwards to report what happened and apologised to the girl."

"Why the hell do you feel bad then? It wasn't even your fault," Jaehwan holds his hyung by the shoulder roughly. "Hyung, don't be upset. Come here," he folds the man to his chest. Breathes a long breath in.

"I knew you were a big fucking faggot since the beginning of the year, Ong, don't bother. Oh wait, maybe you're lying too. Maybe you're just a sick fucking bastard who thinks it's funny to flaunt your gayness to everyone so they think you're funny," Victoria isn't stopping, eyes bright and mouth spitting. Jaehwan seizes Seungwoo's hands, squeezing, before disentangling from Jisung, standing up.

"Oi." No one said anything. "The only liar here is _you,_ Victoria."

"Oh look, the main liar of the campus. Hi Jaehwan-ssi, finally here to shed some light on us?" She laughs, hand carding through her hair. He stares at her, unimpressed, before sighing. 

"Cat got your tongue?" She mocks.

"Why would you go so far as to making a little girl strip in the middle of a lecture hall to frighten hyung? Have you ran out of things to do that you have to involve other people in your little life-ruining plans?" He sounds too calm even to his own ears, but his fists shake by his sides. No one talk to his hyungs like that. No one get to accuse his hyungs and get away with it playing victim.

"What is it now? He's the victim?" She scoffs, brushing imaginary dust off herself. "She's being forced to strip. Think about the poor thing! By this ugly faggot no less!"

There's a scream from somewhere near the right as Sungwoon is being forced back down by Taehyun, screaming obscenities at Victoria. Jaehwan wills his anger down, knowing that once he let himself loose like Sungwoon, he'll throw a basket at Victoria's head or tackle her down through five levels of spectator seats.

"Sounds like you know this girl pretty well. Sounds like you have a bit of a personal tie to her. Maybe I don't know, you're a close friend of her or something. Maybe you're here because you genuinely care," Jaehwan throws his hands up. "But you've insulted my hyung without even knowing the context of the situation."

"She told me what went down!"

"Jisung-hyung was there! He knew what went down!"

"Your Jisung-hyung is a fucking liar and a joke to humanity! Jesus fucking Christ open your eyes. He's there to away what's good for the campus. He's fucking selfish to the good of other people. How is that for a good role model, huh?"

"How the fuck is he preventing the good of society from happening?"

"Hwang Minhyun! He's taking away Hwang Minhyun from the rest of the campus once he signed that form! So we have to eliminate him! Minhyun-ssi belongs to everyone and he shouldn't be locked up in an office all week where no one but Jisung-hyung could see him!"

"Oh my fucking god," Seungwoo slaps his face. "I cannot even!"

"Can you kids take this elsewhere?" The coach screams from the court. "We're trying to have a game here!"

"Coach if I don't solve this now I will resort to murder," Jaehwan mutters to Victoria who hisses at him ferally. "Grow up, will you? You don't own Minhyun. Nah, I don't care if you run a small country or some shit, but this is ridiculous. Did you even stop to think about the consequences of your actions? No, of fucking course not. You scream about selflessness and sharing, but all you're doing is anything but. Stop trying to make things go your way by pulling stupid stunts. Your club can go and rot. You're a disgusting human being."

"You're an asshole, you know that, Kim Jaehwan," Victoria leans in close to his face. He stands his ground.

"What does that make you then?"

Victoria lunges, but someone holds her arm from behind her. Jaehwan doesn't bother to look because he's too busy checking up on Jisung to make sure there's no breaking downs happening.

"Kim," Seungwoo pokes him. "You might want to turn around."

"Why," he squeezes Jisung's shoulder, "she's back for another bitching session?"

"I don't think she'll be back for any time soon. I sent her off," a familiar voice tells him. Jaehwan mumbles something obscene under his breath and catches the breath in the same second.

He turns around. Hwang Minhyun is looking at him.

"Uh," he begins, "hello."

"Are you done bitching yet, cupcakes, or should I just postpone the goddamn game?" The coach screams and nearly clubs a kid over the head. Guanlin searches for Jaehwan and makes a gesture to come up. Jaehwan shakes his head, both to not accepting reality but also to Guanlin not ditching his game.

"We're good now coach. Sorry!" Ong offers up his best distractingly charming smile and the audience thaws from the tension. Over the wave of people sitting down, he sees Sungwoon, Daniel, Jinyoung and Taehyun hurdling over benches and people's legs to get to his seat. Seungwoo stands near him, ready to fight or fend off Minhyun if necessary.

"I just wanted to say sorry," Minhyun begins.

"Why?" He frowns. "It wasn't your fault."

"Because of me you all got into a fight with Victoria. Especially you, hyung-nim," the boy bows to Jisung who sniffles but waves away the bow airily. "I sincerely apologise."

"Don't stress about it too much. You can't control other people," Seungwoo is shifting to cover Jaehwan. 

"Ong's fan club once tried to sweet talk the security guards to let them know the code to his apartment. Fan girls are of another level," Jaehwan breathes, looking Minhyun in the eye now. They stare at each other, no further words exchanged.

 _Wow he has really pretty eyes,_ he thinks. _Focus Kim Jaehwan you're not here to ogle at eyeballs._

Minhyun hums but seems to look beyond him. Jaehwan doesn't let that deter him. When can he ever have a chance to ogle the great Hwang Minhyun again without repercussions? 

"MY DEAR JISUNGIE ARE YOU OKAY?" Sungwoon makes it to them at last and throws himself onto Jisung who laughs in the middle of his tears. Taehyun follows behind mumbling apologies to the entire nation.

"Are you right?" Daniel looks first at Seungwoo then at Jaehwan. They nod at him, Seungwoo flashing a toothy grin at the brunette.

"All good," Minhyun moves to step away. "I'll leave now before it gets worse. I'm sorry for this mess again," he bows, looks at somewhere behind Jaehwan and exits. Jinyoung gives Jaehwan a loose bear hug and they rock on the spot, the younger boy murmuring encouraging words into his hair.

"Keep doing that! I can see Daehwi turning green!" Ong cheers as Daehwi throws rude gestures at them. Jinyoung laughs and turns to throw a flying kiss to Daehwi who splutters and sits straight back down. Their entire row roar with cheers and whistles as Jinyoung continues to blow kisses to the back of Daehwi's head.

"You're so boyfriend it hurts me that you're not dating each other," Sungwoon tells Jinyoung from his perch on Jisung's knees. "Go out and be gross together."

"You just want to win the bet," Taehyun turns to the side and coughs, "20,000 won."

Jisung holds Sungwoon down before there's a broken nose happening.

"Hyung let me go I gotta fight this loudmouthed bastard come at me Noh, come on!" 

Not that Taehyun can't take Sungwoon down with three moves of his wrist anyways.

 

"Are you really gay?" Daniel turns to Seungwoo who has now taken the role of screaming Guanlin's name in sixty second intervals. Seungwoo whips his head to Daniel and blinks, mouth forming a 'what'.

"Kang-ssi, you must live under a rock to not know that I am gay as hell. I came out of the womb this way," Ong gestures to his entire body. No one misses the way Daniel's eyes follow the hand and linger on Ong's body.

"I don't really get out much, so I really don't know that many people," Daniel scratches the back of his head, "it's good to know now though."

Ong raises both his eyebrows and Taehyun tries to not cough an entire lung out. 

"I bet it is, Niel-ssi. Have a seat with me."

 

"All this love is making me sick," Jaehwan moans into Jinyoung's chest. "Stab me, poison me, I don't know, make it quick, Jinyoungie."

"Guanlin will cry," Jinyoung giggles.

"Guanlin will not," Seungwoo snorts. "That kid will only cry if you deflate all his basketballs. I would cry. Who else will I bitch to when fan girls ambush me?"

"Suffer by yourself then, bitch," Jaehwan turns to stick a tongue out to his friend who pulls a face back. 

"Why do you still look like you don't believe I'm gay, boy? Want me to prove it?" Ong asks, half turning to face Daniel whose face lights up in alarm. He sits up, trying to hold Seungwoo down, but the boy shoots up and leans over the heads of the people in front of them.

"LAI GUANLIN I'M SO GAY FOR YOU!"

"OH MY GOD HYUNG STOP CONFESSING TO ME I KNOW YOU'RE INTO MEN!"

"There we go," he sits back. Daniel's eyes are wide and he starts fucking giggling. Jisung tells Ong off for being too loud but he's holding in a smile as Daniel literally glows next to Seungwoo.

"If they go out on a date then you should take Daehwi with them," Jaehwan tells Jinyoung. "It'll be cute."

"THAT'S MY BOY FROM TAIPEI! EYYY GUANLIN!" Sungwoon screeches and Taehyun claps politely as Guanlin wins the final shot for the game. Daehwi stands up screaming with the cheerleading squad and runs up to them, skirt bouncing.

"Stay still so I get a picture!" Sungwoon pulls out his phone.

"You look so pretty, Dae-yah," Jisung tells him.

"Honestly, goals," Ong nods at Daehwi who hits his arm. "I'm praising you!"

"Guys, come on, stop. Let's go somewhere else where they won't be teasing you," Jinyoung leads Daehwi away who looks up at the brunette like the damsel in distress that he is.

"Fighting," Jaehwan cheers after them. "Anyone on the actual student council so I can hand in a ten page report on Victoria Kim?"

"On it," Daniel tells him, eyes on his phone screen. "All activities will be discontinued from this point onward."

"Keep him," he tells Seungwoo who chokes. "Niel-ah, if he doesn't keep you I will. You're a damn blessing."

Daniel giggles and tells him to stop flirting.

 

Guanlin tells them afterwards that they're embarrassing but still gave them all a mention at his speech for Best Player and bought them drinks at the celebratory dinner.

Jaehwan gets high in knowing Daniel is one step closer to wooing Seungwoo. And also Victoria Kim is far far away from the general vicinity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm the biggest hit I'm the biggest hit on this stage. Also I am a Harry Potter trash bin child I love putting two of my favourite things together.


	3. Of not-dates and making deals with the devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I bring you:  
> \- iconic Ongniel moments  
> \- Jisung being a sweetheart and an amazing hyung  
> \- Jaehwan as the devil that goes around making deals with unsuspecting and suspecting mortals  
> \- Guan Lin who does not appear yet but you can hear his screams  
> \- Sungwoon the Loudspeaker Mushroom who is unpredictable like the weather  
> \- Sungwoon who is cool with running away with anyone and being in fake relationships with his friends  
> \- Jisung a makeup god  
> \- Hard carrying Choi Taewoong who talks to five people on campus  
> \- Jaehwan fully embracing his status as matchmaking powerhouse  
> \- Many implied couples  
> \- Deals made over texts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not too happy with it because of heavy dialogues. Please tell me what you think.

"Hyung," Jaehwan hums in lieu of a response, one ear mentally trying to recall what the notes on his scale sounds like, "what do I look best in?"

"You're going on a date?" He nearly drops his book. "Jinyoung is fast."

"Jinyoung is slow as fuck. Stop lying to yourself," Seungwoo calls out from the hallway. 

"Hyung you're so mean! We're not going on a date," Daehwi whines from the other end.

"Put him on speaker," Seungwoo comes into his room and plops on his bed. "Tell me all the deets, girl."

"It's not a date!" His dongsaeng cries as Jaehwan puts the phone on the table, distracted with his music sheets. That minor should not be in that bar...

"What is it, then? A friendly gathering of two people who've been flirting for the last two months?" He snorts and Ong gives him a thumbs up. 

"I'm going shopping with Eunki hyung and he just wanted to know what I look best in so we waste less time searching," Daehwi sighs, "I wish you guys could come."

"I would," Ong sits up, "why haven't you asked me, kiddo?"

"Jaehwan hyung said you're busy?" Daehwi replies, confused, "And Jaehwan hyung has to finish his music project. He keeps singing off pitch."

"I'm busy?" Ong asks him.

"I don't sing on pitch?" Jaehwan asks Daehwi who splutters a rushed 'you do you do hyungie'.

"Bitch, answer my question," his friend kicks his shins.

"You're going on your 'not date' with Daniel, remember?" Jaehwan reminds him and Daehwi squeals, yapping words into the receiver.

"When did this happen? How? Tell me! Tell me!"

"It's not a date!" Ong insists shrilly over Daehwi's squeals. "Jisung hyung is coming with us!"

"Because you chicken out and hyung was too nice to let you go alone!" Jaehwan starts screaming too.

"You told him to have a crack at it! I heard you, you fucking traitor!"

"No, I said you wanted to go ice skating and Daniel happened to have tickets from his mates, so I told him to ask you if you wanted to come with him," Jaehwan raises his hand in himself. Ong gives him a withering look, shuffles back and barrels into him, tackling Jaehwan onto the bed.

"YAH ONG SEUNGWOO GET OFF ME!" He bucks as his friend rolls over his limp arms and presses down mercilessly.

Someone knocks on the door and Ong gives him another withering look before standing up to open it. Jaehwan wheezes from the bed.

"So you mean, Ongniel is becoming reality?" Daehwi whispers conspiratorially into the receiver. 

"Of course, baby, what else? I'm going to create so many couples, just you wait."

"Hyung, a few days ago you said you don't want to be the campus's matchmaking service, but look at you now, rolling like a rock down a hill."

Before Jaehwan can answer, Sungwoon's voice bounces loudly off the wall.

"HI HI HI HI I'M HERE NOW KIDS!"

"Sungwoon hyungie!" Daehwi screams. Sungwoon returns the greeting just as enthusiastically, if not louder.

"Can you guys shut the fuck up?" Guan Lin's voice picks up above theirs. "I can't study!" Ong starts to scream louder, a tribal war tone to his voice. Guan Lin swears at them all in rapid fire Mandarin.

"It's unfortunate, but," Sungwoon puts a hand on Seungwoo's shoulder whose smile drops suddenly. "I'm stealing Jisung hyung away."

"Why?" Jaehwan and Seungwoo turn to squint at their hyung quizzically. 

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but Jisung-hyung and I must be together till death do us part and this land prohibits our lifelong union," Sungwoon clasps a hand over his heart and sighs heavily. Daehwi bursts out laughing so hard on the other end that he starts to cough hysterically.

"I thought you and..." Seungwoo gestures vaguely between Jaehwan and Sungwoon who turn to each other, echoing the heavenly choir at the exact pitch. Sungwoon kisses his cheek loudly with a smack and Jaehwan clutches his hyung to his chest, dramatically declaring his eternal love to his hyung. They start cackling and break apart, Sungwoon still blowing kisses to Jaehwan who swoons loudly and theatrically. 

"Shut the fuck up. You know what I mean," Ong swats Jaehwan's shoulder and he starts laughing again. "When do you need him?"

"Saturday afternoon."

Ong swears loudly as Daehwi gasps loudly and Jaehwan starts to cackle at the top of his lungs, slightly dizzy from the timing of it all. There is more cursing from Guan Lin.

"Oh, how unfortunate, Ong-ssi," Jaehwan winks at Sungwoon who blows a kiss back. "I guess you'll just have to deal with Daniel all by yourself."

"I refuse to acknowledge that this wasn't planned," Seungwoo turns to Jaehwan and Sungwoon accusingly.

"Don't look at me I didn't know about it until now," he puts his hands up in surrender. "Totally clueless here, buddy."

"Jisung hyung, Taehyunnie and I actually had an assignment that someone," Sungwoon coughs what sounds audibly like Taehyun's name into his fist, "forgot to hand in, so now we have to come and explain why the portfolio due last week was still unsubmitted. Professor Kahi runs a tight schedule, and if we don't see her on Saturday, she'll fail my Masters. I need that doctorate, kid. And I can't get it without a research qualification."

"He's my moral support," Seungwoo kneels in front of Sungwoon, "you can't take him away, please hyung."

"His doctorate is more important than your not-date, Ongie. Suck it up, princess," he hauls the back of Seungwoo's collar up while his friend sobs in hysteria. Sungwoon has the grace and goodness in him to pat Seungwoo in consolation, apologising for the news.

"Seungwoo hyung, you should wear that white shirt with the open collar," Daehwi tells Seungwoo instead of actually offering any advice and Seungwoo's melancholic sobs increase in pitch and hysteria.

"I will see if I can influence Daniel's friends to get him to wear like, a normal shirt," Jaehwan smacks his lips distastefully. "The flannels make me want to cry."

"You sound like Minki-hyung," Daehwi snorts. "He goes crazy over bad fashion."

"Anyone with eyes would, darling. Thank you Sungwoon, you are such a good friend. You could've just sneakily steal hyung away but you walked all the way from your dorm to ours to tell us. Have good fortune for the rest of your life. Seungwoo, go see if Jisung's stash of makeup is still good to use. I will go harass some people into forcing Daniel-ssi into a nice shirt." The people in the room start to move away, Sungwoon dropping by Guan Lin's room to apologise for the noise and Seungwoo muttering fervently under his breath, still hysterical over the prospect of having to face Daniel by himself.

"Tell Eunki to buy you sweaters and flowy open-necked shirts," he tells Daehwi who chirps a quick _"thanks hyung love you!"_ before hanging up.

"Time to launch project Ongniel," he cracks his neck. 

 

Taewoong talks to like, five people on campus, so when he sees Kim Jaehwan leaning on the wall outside of his lecture hall, he tenses up, hands coming up in defence.

"Hi Taewoong-ssi," the boy smiles winningly. "I need to use you for your connection with Daniel-ssi."

"Will I find my body dead in a ditch somewhere?" He asks, fists still not lowered.

"Only if you piss me off," Jaehwan informs him airily. Taewoong takes a look at the boy's scrawny arms and figures that if a fight does break out, he can snap those arms and make a run for it.

"What do I do?" 

"Daniel-ssi is going on a date with my stupidly-in-love-with-Kang-Daniel best friend," Jaehwan walks him a bit to the patch of grass outside the study hall where they both sit down, bags on the grass. Jaehwan still has his diplomatic smile intact. Taewoong starts to dread the consequences of refusal to comply.

"My friend is obviously going to look hot, because we have Jisung hyung. Daniel-ssi is a man sculpted by god's marble or some heavenly deity with thick thighs and amazing abs. He can probably look good in a sack. But his flannels are ugly and I want him to look hotter than normal. Please help us by any means possible. Burn them, hide them, tell him they've gone missing - I don't care, just make sure he's as hot as he can get on the date, without the flannels, and we're good."

"Do I get anything out of it or is it a _you have to do it otherwise I'll set fire to your house kinda scenario?"_ He leans back as Jaehwan flashes him another brilliant smile.

"I'm Jisung hyung's favourite child. He believes a lot of things I tell him."

"I'm in," Taewoong agrees instantly.

Jaehwan pulls out his phone and Taewoong types in his numbers as if in a daze. When done, Jaehwan stands up, smile blinding and low-key manic.

"So glad to be doing business with you, Taewoong-ssi. I expect Daniel-ssi, flawless, flannel-less, on the date," with that, Jaehwan walks off breezily. Taewoong has a vague sense of dread he made a deal with the devil.

 

Jisung has found their makeup on Seungwoo offending and purely not complementary of his face. He rolls up his sleeves and butts Sungwoon aside, who's loudly complaining on how he's doing a good job anyways, hyung, don't be mean to my skills. 

Jaehwan is on his bed, texting Taewoong about the progress of Operation Flannel.

**kim jaehwan:**

taewoong-ssi

how is everything going

**choi taewoong:**

 I locked him in a room with Minki

He's currently being forced into another outfit because the last one didn't compliment his eyes or something

**kim jaehwan:**

damn

ur rlly trying hard here

asking for choi minki to make kang daniel look hot

jisung hyung is just that important to u??

  
  * ( ͡° ͜ ͜ʖ ͡°)   
    * ( ͡° ͜ ͜ʖ ͡°)   
      * ( ͡° ͜ ͜ʖ ͡°)                                                                                                                          



**choi taewoong:**

Liking Jisung-ssi is one thing, but getting Daniel in with Ong Seungwoo is a priority  

If I have to hear another session of how Ong's jawline can cut diamonds or his hair looks cute today I might resort to murder

It gets so bad that Jonghyun and Minki even agreed to lend their help

Like

The busiest people on campus with many important things to do offered to help

It's reaching a point of no return and we're all desperate as his friends

 **kim jaehwan:**  

noted

i legit thot it was one sided

but im glad its not

bc i was planning for his date while simultaneously planning for daniel-ssi's funeral

 **choi taewoong:**  

You have such a deceivingly harmless face

But you're one fucking psycho

Jaehwan cackles and sends multiple kaomoji before addressing Seungwoo.

"Can I look now? I only have one face and you have three brushes and a mug. If you throw any of that at me I won't be able to recover, so please give consent before I need facial reassignment."

"I wish you could get personality reassignment," Ong grumbles back. "Look all you want, but don't comment."

"You wish I could get a personality reassignment. I'd be the best loved thing on campus." He hears a snort but no comment afterwards.

Jaehwan lifts his head and lets loose a long whistle. Jisung fluffs up Seungwoo's hair a bit more, stands back and beams into the mirror. Seungwoo returns the beam and turns around to throw rude gestures to Jaehwan who keeps on grinning at how good his friend looks.

"Honestly, if he doesn't make a move on you then I will," Jaehwan tells Ong seriously, hand on his shoulder. "You look so good, my little baby Seungie." He squishes his friend's face carefully between his palms. "I want you to be confident and sure and sexy and you. Go out and get that hot piece of man cake."

Seungwoo whines and tells him he's embarrassing, but doesn't brush his hands away. 

 

Jisung brakes so hard Jaehwan can feel his bones rattling inside him.

"Holy shit," Seungwoo wheezes, to the seatbelt cutting onto the side of his neck or the person waiting in front of the ice skating rink, he's not too sure; To be honest, he's not even sure why Ong Seungwoo is even an option for desirable bachelor where Kang Daniel exists.

"Dude, dude," he smacks Seungwoo on the chest, "keep him, mark him, whatever - never let him go." They both turn to face Daniel who smiles a soft bunny teeth smile and Jisung honest-to-god coos over the eye smile.

"I approve of your marriage," Jisung says from the front seat.

"Me too," he chimes in.

"Fuck off, Kim," Ong climbs out and dusts his shirt. His pristine white shirt that Jaehwan ironed and slapped his hands away multiple times because he kept fidgeting the hem.

"Ong, stop fucking with your shirt. I ironed that shit," he pokes a head out of the car window. "Be nice to my efforts."

There's a choking sound. Jaehwan waves his fists in the air as Daniel approaches Seungwoo, eyes wide like he found the lost gold of Mexico and Atlantis in the one night. Seungwoo shyly pulls his hands by his sides and mumbles a soft hello, head down, but Daniel's mouth stays open along with his eyes, looking Seungwoo up and down. Then back again.

Jisung fumbles and hits the headlights by accident. He throws a quick sorry to the couple who jump and look elsewhere, both dewy eyes and red ears. Jaehwan waves a cheery bye as Jisung reverses and back onto the road, Seungwoo then looking at Daniel fully and choking, waving his arms around.

"Oh, he's turning purple," Jaehwan comments as they drive away. Jisung awws fondly.

 

"Hey hyung."

"Yes dear?"

"Will you be fine third wheeling Krump Master and Loudspeaker Mushroom?"

"It'll be a quick meeting then we'll come back to the dorms," Jisung switches lanes, "I don't think they'll fight or anything during the fifteen minutes we see professor Kahi."

Jaehwan just hums. Sungwoon has the unpredictability of the weather - there's no telling whether he'll start naming pigeons or jump instead of walk to the staffroom. Taehyun isn't any better - he'll probably fight Sungwoon, curse him out and then curse at people who start to question the blonde midget.

"And hyung?"

Jisung turns to face him, eyes a bit wider. "What's wrong?"

"We only got this date sorted because of Choi Taewoong-ssi. Kinda tall, has an emo resting bitch face, probably rides a motorbike and dyes his friend's hair stupid colours when they do aegyo to him." _And kinda gay for you._

"Ah, yes, I've seen him with Daniel a few times," Jisung smiles sweetly. "What a dedicated friend."

"When we head out for food next week, wanna invite him as thanks? We can get Ongniel to come too," putting on an expertly crafted innocent smile and a few blinks of his lashes, Jaehwan is damn proud his idea doesn't sound too much like _I'm giving you as payment for Taewoong's efforts at making Ongniel a reality._

"That's more than fine," Jisung tells him, eyes back on the road. "Do you want carp bread when I come back with the boys?"

"Hyung I love you. Replace stupid Hwang Minhyun from my life," he says in the most serious voice he can summon up, which is pretty far down.

Jisung giggles and reaches over to pat his hair.

 

**kim jaehwan:**

im ur lord and saviour 

**choi taewoong:**

Jaehwan what the fuck 

It's like 3

In the damn morning

I have class in four hours

You probably have classes too

Go to bed

**kim jaehwan:**

dont pretend liek u werent up before i slide into ur pm

**choi taewoong:**

I was studying  

My shifts got moved late into the night and I haven't really finished my essay for tomorrow tutorial

**kim jaehwan:**

that doesn't matter now

what matters is that ur on jisung hyung's angel list and ur joining our exclusive squad for food next sat

**choi taewoong:**

I wasn't joking when I told you that you're fucking terrifying

**kim jaehwan:**

keep ur schedule clear

thanks for making daniel hot

20/10 would climb that liek a tree

 **choi taewoong** :

Can you not thirst after my dongsaeng's ass like

No

That's weird

It was mostly Minki

I just coordinated shit

Thanks for the invite

**kim jaehwan:**

i mean

they do call me the matchmaking powerhouse of this campus

i can't lose that title so easily

**choi taewoong:**

Go to bed

**kim jaehwan:**

boring~~~~

**choi taewoong:**

We'll see who's boring when morning classes come

**kim jaehwan:**

eyyyy evil 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually only the texts are fun to write. Everything else seems awkward.


	4. Of Cupid power and being nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I bring you:  
> \- accidental murder and manslaughtering  
> \- couples who come into contact with Jaehwan and getting together  
> \- sleep paralysis  
> \- Woojin's constant 'but does he like me'  
> -Taewoon is now canon  
> -nutrition which somehow turns into medicine  
> \- many tackles   
> \- Jaehwan as the Korean Cupid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have zero medical knowledge on what to do in a sleep paralysis situation please forgive me.

Jaehwan is a good person. He calls his mum twice a day, he does his homework on time, mostly. He smiles at strangers on the bus and gives up his seat for people who need it on the subway. He pretended to be Ong's boyfriend for two weeks to get rid of the fan girls who were stalking his friend home and staged a dramatic breakup after the crowd cleared away. He listens to Sungwoon's constant singing of the same bar every day. He got into a fight with someone who swore at his Taiwanese chick son Guan Lin. He let Jisung try new makeup on him all the time even though he breaks out in rashes thirty minutes later and one time had to be rushed to the hospital because of his allergies. He had his psychotic moments, but he does balance it up by doing good by his friends who he treasures very much.

But this, this is a whole new level of tolerance that Jaehwan, in his 22 years of life, haven't even dreamed of reaching, let alone confronted by it. It honestly scares him sometimes, the stupidity of questions. It scares him more when his friends, who he believes to be not as dumb as the many dumb people on campus and who he selectively picked from the masses, come to him with these type of dumb inquiries.

"What."

It doesn't sound like a question. At this point he doesn't care if it's not a question anymore, he ran out of reasons to care.

"What do you mean, what, hyung?" Park Woojin, freshly tanned from his trip to Japan, raises an eyebrows, believing he has every right to be this stupid in front of Jaehwan. 

"Don't what me you stupid snaggle tooth demon," he throws a scarf at Woojin's head, _"what do you mean you're not dating Hyeongseob?"_

"We have never dated, or ever will, hyung," Woojin tells him solemnly, like his pet goldfish committed a tragic suicide in the fish tank by knocking its little brain out on the glass confine. Jaehwan wouldn't know, he doesn't have a pet, but Woojin has the exact same expression Jisung did seven months ago when his fish died. Back then when he first heard the story, Jaehwan had to thank his overwhelming love for his hyung to not start laughing because of the sheer ridiculousness the death was.

Now, Jaehwan can't find the strength to laugh. It's just so unbelievably unfunny that he wants to cry instead. The urge to throw a heavy object at his dongsaeng sits dormant, but he loves little, not so much anymore, Woojin and he will be calm.

"Honey bear, baby boo, sweet angel's wings," Jaehwan plasters on a cheerful smile, "if you and Hyeongseob aren't going out, then _what the fuck are you doing?"_

"We're friends," the boy squints at him like he asked what dark matter is. Knowing Woojin, he probably knows what that is, but the lord forbids his friend knows how thirsty and desperately obvious Ahn Hyeongseb is for him.

"Also, can you not call me any of those words? They make me want to scrub myself clean of my sins," the boy shivers and Jaehwan throws a glove at his face. It hits Woojin on the nose and he executes the Cackles™ as Woojin swears at him. 

"The only sin you need to scrub yourself clean of is the fact that you're either too dumb to notice Hyeongseob flirting with you or you're not doing anything about the flirting," Jaehwan points a pencil threateningly at Woojin. They stare at each other for a second before Woojin sits up too quickly, knocking into Jaehwan's knees. They're both screaming, Jaehwan from surprise and Woojin from whatever.

"What do you mean he's flirting _with me?"_

"What the _fuck else_ do you think I mean, punk?"

"Can you people go outside or something and scream at each other?" Guan Lin asks from another room.

"Who...?" Woojin jerks a thumb in the direction of Guan Lin's bedroom.

"New roommate and son. Taiwanese, loves to eat, really tall, kinda clueless," Jaehwan waves dismissively. "Please don't make me smack some sense into you, Woojinnie. You're smart. You're doing dance and like, thermodynamics or whatever. Open your damn eyes."

"He's being nice and you're telling me it's flirting?" Woojin throws the question like it's a hot potato and he doesn't like the heat anywhere near him. "You do it with Seungwoo-hyung all the time!"

"Yeah but people know I'm joking! It's exaggerated and unrealistic. Hyeongseob looks at you like you gave birth to world peace or some shit!"

"No he doesn't!"

"Because you always look away when he does it, you dumb genius!"

The door to his bedroom swings open with a sleep-deprived Taehyun who looks between them, closes the door, collapses on Jaehwan's bed, curling his knees to his chest and closing his eyes. 

"Continue. I'm sleeping here for an hour," the brunette mumbles.

"Hyung we're screaming at each other," Jaehwan tells the boy. _As if that wasn't obvious already from all the noise,_ he wants to add but thought better of it.

"I don't really care, kid. Go and bitch to each other. I'm sleepin'," Taehyun rolls until his back is to them. Woojin and he share a look. Seeing Taehyun without Sungwoon is a rare feat. Normally they're attached at the hip and being nuisances to society collectively. One without the other is like drawing the yin yang symbol then forgetting to shade one side in and you're just looking at your sketch going "I've done something wrong and I don't know how to fix it". Or something like that, according to Jinyoung.

"Can we postpone your fourth existential crisis until tonight at 6-ish, because I have to go see Jihoonie now and we kinda are too loud for two people," Jaehwan stands and jerks his head to the door, looking at Woojin. With some sort of protest on his tongue, the boy sits there, kinda unsure of whether he should leave or wheedle more productive advises from his hyung. "Out, leave, don't come back until six," Jaehwan taps his foot. Woojin slowly pushes himself up. "Any day now, Woojinnie."

"Hyung," Woojin hangs at the doorway, "how'd you know I liked Hyeongseob?"

"Besides your camel salsa step slide jump kick?" Taehyun snorts not-so-discreetly and Woojin jerks back, stuttering satoori.

"No I don't - _what?"_

"I haven't finished," he holds up a palm, "besides that, it's probably all the glances. They annoy me. Stop looking longingly at each other as if you can't be together ever. Now leave before I chase you out with a broom," he points and Wooin shuffles out, mumbling to himself.

"I am definitely saving you as camel salsa step slide jump kick under contact," Taehyun snickers quietly. There's a forced cheerfulness to his voice and Jaehwan sits on the edge of his bed, hand on Taehyun's back hesitantly, afraid to voice the question. He knows something must've happened from when Taehyun, Jisung and Sungwoon went to extend the deadline for their masters, but Jisung had been tight-lipped about it all and he hadn't seen Sungwoon for nearly a week.

He glances at Taehyun one more time.

"Yo hyung."

"What."

"Did you fight with Sungwoon hyung or something?"

Silence. Taehyun doesn't even move. Jaehwan shuffles back, anticipating a kick to his stomach.

"Somethin' like that."

"Can you...do you want to, I'm not too sure, talk?" He offers awkwardly, hands splaying in front of his face. 

"In an hour," Taehyun moves closer to the wall, "then maybe I will."

"Okay hyung, you have my number, call me and I'll be here. Or talk to Guanlinnie next door. He's a bit awkward and his Korean is shit, but he listens well," he stands up and looks back at the small figure curled on his bed. "I'm going then, hyung."

Taehyun doesn't say anything.

 

The problem with being neither tall or short is that people of any size can take Jaehwan down really easily. Normally he beat the hell outta some moron trying to take him down but no one tackle hug him, they're not suicidal. Unless you're Park Jihoon.

They do say when you're pretty, you can get away with anything, even murder.

_"HYUNGIE!"_

Jaehwan blinks and he's on the ground. There is something uncomfortable digging up his shoulder blade. It might have been a shoe or a really thick wallet. Jihoon's arms are wrapped around his neck and pinning his arms to his side. 

"Hey baby," he groans slash wheezes, "good to see you too Jihoonie."

"I haven't seen you in years!" Jihoon continues to whisper shout in his ears and Jaehwan just lies there, accepting his fate. He adopted this child and now he must love him, despite the challenges that come with it.

"Jihoon-hyung, let the man go," Jinyoung walks out from his shower, towel in his hair. "He's done nothing but bring you food."

"I haven't seen you in _years,"_   Jihoon hauls him up by the shoulder and shakes him, "years, hyung."

Jinyoung rummages through the desserts he brought them and drags Jihoon, seconds away from strangling Jaehwan who honestly does not know how they got from greeting to accidental murder.

"You're like," Jinyoung chews through his donuts, thumb and forefinger pinching invisible air in front of his face, "this close to manslaughtering hyung."

"That is not a verb and it does not function as a word," Jihoon scoffs and dusts himself, munching on a cupcake. "Wouldn't it be murder then?"

"Manslaughter," Jinyoung sighs, "they used to call it accidental murder."

Jaehwan does not appreciate his children blatantly discussing his death like this, planned or accidental.

"Hey hyung, what's this I hear about you being the matchmaking powerhouse of this campus?" Jihoon chews through a mouthful of red velvet cake and Jaehwan absently cleans the boy's face with a napkin. 

"I dunno kiddo, probably because of the Ongniel thing?"

"Everyone keeps saying how people interfere and stuff but nothing happened, but the minute Jaehwan hyung stepped in he made them sit next to each other in a sports game and go on a date four days later," Jinyoung gives him a thumbs up. "Cupid, our Jaehwan hyung."

He laughs because it's ludicrous. Daehwi and Jisung only began that joke as he likes to meddle in his friends' love life. There's no real prowess behind it and he enjoys mocking on a general basis, especially if his friends are the ones he's mocking. 

"No but, thing is," Jihoon leans closer to his face, big doe eyes in his face and Jaehwan pinches his cheeks, "you give really good relationship advice."

"And people just get together when they meet through you," Jinyoung concludes, crossing his legs. Jihoon follows, hanging off Jaehwan's arm.

"Don't be ludicrous, kids, Woojin nearly broke a shin that one time we played soccer together."

"Yeah but," Jihoon slaps his thigh, "oh my god he met Hyeongseob on that day when he rolled around on the grass crying in pain like the pathetic loser that he is."

He starts cackling as Jinyoung throws his head back, narrowly missing the wall, hands over his mouth, muffling his laugh.

"Fine, fine. It's been known to happen twice, but maybe they're flukes? Maybe I'm just conveniently there as like the Campus Third Wheel rather than the Campus Cupid."

"Momo and Mina, oh my god," Jihoon is devoted into this now, eyes wider, "they got together because you told Mina to watch the cheerleading squad practice and then by the next week they were going out."

"Okay, fine, three times, whatever," he waves it aside, "I actually wanted to come over to check up on you kids and also to like, see if you know anything about last Saturday."

He hopes he's being discreet enough for the two to pick up the _not the Ongniel date but the hyungs bowing down to their professor thing_. Jinyoung blinks rapidly, trying to recall events. Jihoon is already ahead of him, shooting up from the bed and clapping like a seal about to feast on an ocean of fish.

"I saw the hyungs coming back from their meeting with professor Kahi. Dae-yah told me!"

"Daehwi tells you these kinds of things?" Jinyoung asks as Jaehwan's "What happened? Tell me everything" picks up at the same time.

The kids turn to him and stare. He hates it when children do that. It makes it hard for him to lie to them and pretend that the world is all rainbow and ponies. He runs a hand through his hair, contemplating the best way to break the news.

"Something happened and not only is Jisung hyung refusing to speak about it, I haven't seen Sungwoon hyung in like a week and Taehyun hyung is at my place conked out on my small ass bed."

"I think they like," Jihoon puts a finger under his chin, "fought? Got into an argument? There were yelling and shoving, then Sungwoon hyung left in a different direction. Jisung hyung walked Taehyun hyung home, I think."

"I just want to see my children and feed them," he sighs mournfully, "now I have to make sure my two hyungs don't kill each other when they see each other on campus. There's Woojin as well. He's back, did you see him?"

"He called me when he got off the plane," Jihoon grins, "I think Daniel hyung went to pick him up."

Jaehwan is finding more and more reasons to give Ong's hand in marriage away to this wonderful chivalrous gentleman of the year 2017 of the noble family Kang. Speaking of that, he should call Seungwoo's mum and report ~~gossip~~ on her son's love life. 

"Ong-hyung went with him too," Jinyoung adds this extra detail like it's _no big deal at all_. Jihoon gasps loudly and Jaehwan pulls Jinyoung's leg, who kicks him back with a startled 'what?'

"How did you even know?" He doesn't mean to shriek but it comes out high-pitched anyways.

"Daehwin spammed the group chat when he heard from Taewoong-ssi this morning? We have an Ongniel group chat with like, ten other people."

"Why am I not a part of this group chat?" He demands, slapping Jinyoung's ankle. "This is blasphemy. I gave Ongniel a fighting chance. I should be the admin of that chat."

"What's done is done, hyung," Jinyoung toes him away, "but should you like, check on Taehyun hyung, now?"

"Why did Woojin come to see you the minute he got back to campus?" Jihoon turns to him because he prioritises gossip, not the wellbeing of his friends.

Jaehwan believes some answers do not need to be verbalised. He gives them a face of true suffering™ and Jihoon starts to unsurprisingly laugh uproariously, slapping the bed and bouncing up and down. 

"Again?" Jinyoung gapes. "It's been three days since he called like every single one of us and asking if Hyeongseob likes him."

"Save me," Jaehwan begs, "end me. I don't care. If I hear another _does he like me_ I think I might just bite my tongue and bleed to death."

"You're so melodramatic, hyungie," Jihoon tells him, "you had to reschedule it though, right, because Tae-hyung crashed your session?"

"I should actually go check on him. It's kinda dangerous to let someone passed out on my bed not knowing what he might do," he gets up and allows the kids to bundle him up in a smothering two-people embrace, Jinyoung patting his hair and Jihoon squeezing his ribs tightly.

"Take care, hyungie!" Jihoon waves from his doorway.

"Watch out for the pole, Jae-hyung, oh my god!" Jaehwan swerves before Jinyoung can run out. "Watch your surroundings, damn it!"

 

Taehyun looks like he either doesn't move except breathe really lightly in his sleep or he's dead. Jaehwan pokes his hyung with his phone and there's no movement. There's a twitch of his toes and Taehyun's eyes suddenly open, glaring straight at the ceiling. Jaehwan jumps and shuffles closer to his hyung, hovering over the boy.

Taehyun doesn't sit up. 

At this point Jaehwan is properly freaked out.

He doesn't study medicine so he can't properly diagnose people. Psychology can only lend its hands to him knowing that this is a result of a mental illness or stress, but not what the fuck it is.

"Hyung?" He asks. The ambulance people do that, right? Ask people to respond to make sure they're conscious? 

Taehyun's eyes roll to where Jaehwan is and he twitches, but he doesn't wake up.

"Shit shit _shit shit shit_ ," he starts to chant, struggling to remember which friend he has that does something medicine-related. "Jinyoung, no, that's art and design. Woojin is engineering, no, uh, Guan Lin is sports. Um, Daehwi does nutrition?"

He takes a look at Taehyun's rolling eyeballs. 

"Okay, yeah, Daehwi."

After three rings Daehwi picks up, sounding like he's eating rice crackers.

"Hey Jae-hyung. What's wrong?"

"I think Taehyun-hyung is going through a stress-induced thing but I don't know what it is and I'm high-key freaked out because his eyes are open but his body is on the bed," he blurts all in one breath. Daehwi doesn't say anything.

"You know I'm like, a nutrition minor and that's not, you know, medicine, right?"

"I panicked! He's twitching, oh my god, Daehwi-yah, he's twitching his fingers but he's not moving." He huddles near the door and watches Taehyun's twitching from afar. It feels like an episode of The Exorcist where the demon is possessing the girl's body and everyone is just screaming. Instead it's him inside a small ass space with a twitching man on the bed and he's not above thinking that whatever it is it's not demon possession.

"Call Sungwoon-hyung?" Daehwi suggests timidly. 

"How does that-" He protests and remembers Ha Sungwoon is literally an intern at the nearby hospital. "I forgot he's a neurologist."

"Do you want me to come over?" Daehwi, bless his soul, doesn't sell his stupidity out and offers to help instead, voice to a trained level of calmness. Jaehwan stutters a rushed 'no I'm good' into the receiver and hangs up, dialling Sungwoon straight away.

"Yo," Sungwoon greets, "what's wrong?"

"Taehyun hyung is in my room and twitching on my bed without actually waking up and I'm fucking terrified," he speaks quickly into his phone. A beat of silence and the call ends abruptly.

Jaehwan doesn't have time to say 'what' before Daehwi texts him screaming on how WHY THE HELL DID SUNGWOON HYUNG JUST LIKE USAIN BOLT HIS WAY OUTTA THE DORM ANSWER ME HYUNG.

"Uh, what, what do I do?" He waves his hands around in front of his face and tries to roll the boy to the his back. He's hovering over his hyung, one arm under Taehyun's back when the front door bangs open and there are too many footsteps running inside his room, noises being let loose inside a small space.

"WHERE IS HE?" Sungwoon's voice rises above the hysteria.

"Woonie, chill!" Jisung calls out. 

"Jesus, not again," Guan Lin tells them.

"Guys, seriously, fix him!" Jaehwan doesn't turn around but he has the voice of three Adeles in a very big football stadium, so he can scream over whatever high pitch Sungwoon projects. The three boys fall silent and Jaehwan pulls his arm away, leaving space for Sungwoon to inspect Taehyun. Sungwoon leans down until his face and Taehyun's face have about a manga's thickness between their noses, with Sungwoon following Taehyun's moving eyeballs and checking for a pulse on the side of Taehyun's neck. Jaehwan flees to JIsung's open arms and stays there for a second, shivery from the whole it-could-have-been-a-demon-possession scenario. He eventually turns to his side to half watch what is happening, but half to turn to Jisung lest something sad happens. Guan Lin hovers over them, squinting at the people on the bed.

"Hyung, can you follow my finger?" Sungwoon asks, blinking intently. 

Taehyun supposedly can.

"Can you try and get up? Look to your left if you think you can." Never, in his two years of knowing Sungwoon, does Jaehwan ever encounter the boy speak in a volume below excited whispering, which, next to Jinyoung's very quiet voice, is pushing the whisper label as far as cheese can be pushed. But now, clutching Taehyun's two hands and shoulders shaking, Sungwoon maintains the softest talking-to-a-frightened-animal voice that any of them in that room, bar Guan Lin, can hear. Jisung's grip on his shoulder intensifies.

Taehyun grunts and his shoulders shake.

"Woon..." there's a whisper of a name and Sungwoon sticks his ear right over Taehyun's mouth without preamble. From his angle, Jaehwan can't see shit, but something must've happened and Sungwoon is sitting up too quickly, nearly crushing the boy under with his elbow.

Taehyun effectively springs up and starts to cough and breathe in the same breath.

Guan Lin cheers inappropriately but Jisung gently steers Jaehwan aside, rushing over to cup Taehyun's face and turning his head sideways, eyes checking everywhere else. Sungwoon sits on his knees and starts to hiccup, Jaehwan and Guan Lin looking around and waving their hands everywhere, not knowing what to do.

"You're such an asshole!" Sungwoon sobs loudly.

"What?" Guan Lin gives him a look, wide eyed. "Hyung, what?"

"Shut the fuck up," Taehyun whispers hoarsely from the bed.

"You're actually so dumb," Sungwoon's voice starts to climb the pitch, tears pouring from his eyes now. "I hate you so much!"

"I'm so lost for context right now," Jaehwan tells no one in particular. "Why is he crying?"

Taehyun turns to them, eyes red and looking at Sungwoon. "Yah, you shitty midget."

"You're shorter, stop bashing me," Sungwoon sobs, his entire face red and swollen, but looking at Taehyun. Jisung wisely has a hand on Taehyun's back, looking elsewhere. Jaehwan feels like he's intruding a moment.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Taehyun continues like no one's in the room except for Sungwoon and him. Jisung slowly extracts his hand away and slips outside with Guan Lin. Sungwoon scoots closer to Taehyun, fingers reaching out to touch the boy but not really.

"The fuck happened?" He asks them.

"I got an internship in America," Taehyun tells him.

So many questions answered themselves that Jaehwan feels like he's been knocked over the head. Sungwoon sniffles, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand.

"And you didn't tell me. What did you think I'll do, beat you up? What kinda shitty friend are you?" Sungwoon moves to punch Taehyun in the arm. "Tell me things next time, damn it!"

"I had a whole thing planned, like with a speech written and everything," Taehyun laments, "I told you not to eavesdrop when I talk to the professor. But you had to go and do it and my whole thing is foiled."

Sungwoon doesn't even have time to say 'what' before Taehyun plows on.

"Date me, bitch."

Sungwoon punches Taehyun in the jaw and Taehyun tackles him down WWE style.

Jaehwan sits up so fast he falls back down sitting and runs into the door. He pulls the doorknob open and nearly runs into Jisung and Guan Lin who were crouching outside listening in.

"Small hyung confessed right?" Guan Lin asks.

"Even the kid knows and he has like twelve Korean words in his vocabulary!" Jaehwan whisper-screams. "Oh I'm glad that shitfest is over."

"Taehyun-ah asked Sungwoon to date me...bitch?" Jisung tests the words in his mouth like he's not sure if he should say them or not. 

"Yes but I don't want to address that it was too messy," Jaehwan puts a hand up to stop his hyung. His face is a weird shade of pale green. He wants to faint somewhere. "I need to sleep and pillage Rome afterwards."

"Hi hi humans, your fabulous god is back!" Ong enters through the front door. "Sorry I was late, the play went on forever because Hyeongseob wants to perfect like everything."

He sees the three boys outside of Jaehwan's room and looks at the door. Guan Lin shifts to stand in front of it but Ong lunges forward to pull it open, only to shut it half a second later with a loud scream.

"Alright, that's it, let's go to Jisung hyng's room and bleach our eyes," he says and pushes them to the boy's room.

This is why Jaehwan prefers to be a bitch at all times. It's so annoying being nice. Children exploit you, hyungs crash on your bed then make out on it, people invite themselves into his dorm all the time and people call this his Cupid power or whatever.

More like the Power of Third Wheel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't tell your crush to date you then tack on a bitch, friends. That is bad romancing right there.


	5. Of exploiting dongsaengs and eventual acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I bring you:  
> \- Jaehwan being weak to his children  
> \- a Woojin-centric moment  
> \- everybody thinks Minhyun is all grace and elegance  
> \- Hyeongseob as someone who will take opportunities at any given moment in time  
> \- Guan Lin always being right  
> \- Jisung as the literal definition of an Angel  
> \- some angst  
> \- Ong already planning his marriage to Daniel  
> \- Jihoon being a good friend  
> \- weird italics in places italics shouldn't be in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU ALL FOR THE OVERWHELMING SUPPORT AND LOVE FOR THE LAST FOUR CHAPTERS HERE IS ANOTHER ONE!!! I'm super excited with this one because it's a good balance between dialogues and internalised ranting!!! Please it lots of love and I await your comments!!

"But thing is," Guan Lin tells them over the food Ong pulls out of his bag, "what happened and how did we have two people making out on the bed as a result?"

"You'll go far in life, kid," he pats the boy on the back.

Omg shudders and refuses Jisung's clap on his back. Jaehwan can see the screws untying themselves in his friend's mind. Worrying but not that concerning.

"Well, since they made up, I guess it's okay to tell you," Jisung hums. "Professor Kahi told us not to worry too much because I had already handed in an excuse notice for them both. Taehyun-ah got news about this internship he received from America, but he forgot to mention it to us. Part of the reason why she agreed to have the meeting was so that he and her can arrange the preliminary paperwork. The professor dismissed us officially because she didn't want us to know, but Sungwoon was paranoid that Taehyun got kept back and yelled at, so he eavesdropped and found out."

"That's such a Sungwoon-hyung thing to do," Guan Lin snorts.

"My poor eyes," Ong covers his eyes, clutching his face like he's gone blind. "Now I won't be able to see beautiful Daniel anymore because I'm fucking taping my eyelids shut."

"Even in your dying breath you still mention Daniel-ssi," Jaehwan notes. "Disappointed, but also not surprised."

Guan Lin praises him for referencing a meme and Ong howls even louder, swearing vengeance on his ancestors.

"At least it resolves itself. But I don't think Taehyunnie would accept the offer," Jisung tells him.

"How'd you know?"

"I think he planned it that he confess then reveal his internship. But because of Sungwoonnie, he didn't get to, hence the whole stress-induced sleep paralysis incident."

Jaehwan doesn't want to react to the phrase 'sleep paralysis', but the fresh fear of Taehyun's eye rolls had ingrained a deep sense of horror in him. He shudders and hugs his arms, wishing that would be the first and last time he has to deal with that sort of terrifying experience.

"You did well, baby," Ong tries to pat his head and he throws a crumpled tissue at his friend's head in retaliation. Jisung's 'stop trying to kill each other' is drowned out by Ong lunging over Guan Lin and trying to get his hands around Jaehwan's neck.

"Why would Taehyun-hyung say no? I thought internships are really hard to get," Guan Lin asks Jisung, "especially international ones."

"Why _would_ Taehyunnie give such an opportunity up?" Jisung's eyes curl into smiles and the Taiwanese boy looks around, eyes wide as if he's been asked a difficult question. Jisung laughs, not unkindly, and pats the back of Guan Lin's hand.

"Once you grow up, you'll understand," Ong informs him gravely before trying to pull Jaehwan's fingers off their knuckles. Jaehwan squawks and kicks the boy away who howls in exaggerated pain, quoting a mixture of Shakespeare and Bohemian Rhapsody lyrics.

_"Is this reality, is this just fantasy ~ Is this a knife I see before meee~"_

"Shut the fuck up, Ong!"

"I don't get it," the boy tells them with a stone face. "Jaehwan-hyung, tell me."

"Because of love, jagi," Jaehwan smiles indulgently and starts to cackle as Guan Lin's face scrunches in an expression of disgust and general distaste. 

"Forget I asked," Guan Lin shouts over Seungwoo's general loudspeaker voice 'Guanlinie it's okay we all fall in love one day like me and Daniel we're going to adopt many puppies together and marry in Spain.'

"But think about it," Jisung sighs, a dopey smile on his lips, "to give up an opportunity of a lifetime to stay with the one you love. That's _so_ romantic."

Maybe he expected echoing sighs afterwards but Seungwoo is still rambling about his wedding with Daniel, Guan Lin is moving onto his third chicken wing and Jaehwan is zoning out.

"Okay hyung," he says airily. Guan Lin pretends to gag at the notion of romantic love and Seungwoo backhands him across the head.

"Don't be rude, kids. One day you will know too," Jisung smiles.

 

"So thank you." Jisung turns to him and smiles softly, crescents blooming on eyes. Seungwoo and Guan Lin had already gone back to their rooms, yawning and mumbling gibberish. 

Jaehwan startles, "What did I do?"

"Next to Sungwoon and I, the person Taehyun will turn to is you. Thank you for not, you know, turning a person in help away and being a good friend." _And for calling Sungwoon and letting them get their shit together_ goes unsaid but not unknown.

Jaehwan blinks at Jisung. That curly eye smile could probably kill men in their wake. He hopes to the fucking gods above that Choi Taewoong better be good to his hyung otherwise he'll risk the death roll and run across that boy with a truck. With spikes on the wheels. 

"I'm so gay for you right now," he says in lieu of a thank you, hand clapped in front of his heart. Jisung starts giggling. "Thanks hyungie."

"Any time, yeobo."

 

"Hyung," Guan Lin suddenly pokes his head into Jisung's room where Jaehwan is camping out on. "You know that matchmaking rumour people are spreading around campus?"

"Don't even say those words around me, kid," he cringes.

"Well, this is the fifth one you got together," Guan Lin looks down at him, "just wanted to let you know. One day people will start showing up at our dorm and be like 'Is Jaehwan the campus Cupid here' and I will have to shoo them away with a broom. I don't want that, so stop doing whatever you're doing."

Jaehwan doesn't even have time to react when Guan Lin continues, "Think about Valentine's Day!"

 

He likes to think that his dongsaengs, by the standard of being birthed later than he had and generally less intelligent, wouldn't be of enough intelligence to predict future events and logically deduct things.

But Lai Guan Lin has the ~~annoying~~ ability to being irrefutably right. Ahn Hyeongseob stands outside of his lecture hall, diplomatic smile mirroring Jaehwan's own when he needs to force foolish mortals into making deals with him.

"Hello. I'm using your Cupid power," Hyeongseob tells him before he could even say 'no go away' or 'what the fuck do you want?'

"That's a lot of tosh that Jisung hyung makes up and you should not listen to anything the campus gossip mill cooks up and circulates around," he scoffs, face scrunching up. The other boy doesn't listen to his complaints, linking arms with him and effectively dragging him away to wheedle things out from Jaehwan. Maybe when he dies, Seungwoo's constant _'but does he like me'_ will stop.

"Please," he begs the boy, "tell me it's not about Woojin. _Please."_

Hyeongseob shoots him a bright smile, reminiscent of Seungwoo at his worst during end of year exams. That is to say, crazy scientist-esque and downright psychopathic. Jaehwan falls to his knees, dragging Hyeongseob's arm with him and calls out desperately for God's mercy.

_"Why me, God?"_

"In a more serious note," Hyeongseob pulls him into a corner, "help me. Woojin is driving me mad."

Jaehwan feels bad for kid, he really does, but he has about up to here with one half of the Jinseob dynamic (Daehwi went on a sugar high at the start of the year and started shipping people, friends, strangers - whoever, with ship names rolling like poker chips at a casino) coming up to him for something along the lines of _'get us together'_.

"I know you think I'm a powerful god or something, but I ain't," Jaehwan tells him, "sorry to break your dreams and heart and little puppy soul. But that's your problem and you need to get your shit together. I'm not giving the gossip mill more fuel to run on its wild crazy stories."

"But _hyung,"_ Hyeongseob cranks up his kicked puppy face, bottom lip jutting out, hands clutched around Jaehwan's arm. He turns his head to the side, determined to not see the boy's face. One would think that once exposed to Park Jihoon, Kim Jaehwan would be immune to any other type of aegyo out there, but they are wrong. Jaehwan is a weak bitch and he's a sucker for any type of aegyo, regardless of anyone doing them. It works wonders when it's his dongsaengs doing aegyo to him. Daehwi exploits this weakness of his in an infinite loop of 'hyung buy me [insert material thing here]' and Jaehwan is taking precautions to not let Hyeongseob do the same as well. Setting up Jinyoung and Daehwi is one thing, because they're cute together and they're so boyfriends it personally offends him as a meddler to not interfere. Ongniel is, well, Seungwoo is annoying and Jaehwan wants to get rid of the tall bastard for a minimal of 8 hours on a daily basis. He's willing to put up with the constant loop of 'Daniel is so [insert sappy cheesy things you say once in a relationship]' for the hours he's away.

Woojin and Hyeongseob? They're cutesy little chicken pies but Jaehwan's reached his maximum quota for relationship meddling for the year. He's retired, closed, shut down, on hiatus. People who seek relationship advice or anything vaguely romantic will have to see themselves out of his line of sight. Guan Lin is equipped with a broom back at the dorm and Jaehwan can always execute The Cackles™ in case any persistent barnacle humans want to try him on any day. 

But Hyeongseob is still a cute dongsaeng so Jaehwan is just awkwardly trying to shake the boy off, looking mildly identical to going through a seizure. A couple of people walk by give them weird looks, downright judgmental faces and someone even screams 'daylight rules!' from down the hallway.

"Bitch you wanna fucking have a go at me," Jaehwan breaks away from Hyeongseob and is about this close to reassigning a new face to some careless people.

"Hyung, come on, let it go," the other boy tries to pull him back, wheezing as a raging Jaehwan is a strong Jaehwan. "Come on, you're in uni. Stop picking fights with people left and right."

He's petty so he's throwing obscene gestures to the general direction of where he thinks the guy might have been and turns around to Hyeongseob, grinding his teeth aggressively. Jaehwan realises too late that Hyeongseob, the child of taking chances even when he sleeps and _I will get my way_ , would let it go after the whole ruckus Jaehwan threw. But no. Hyeongseob is smiling at him, wide eyes and squeezing his cheeks together, mouth puckered with lip tint. Jaehwan can smell the peach flavour from a metre away.

_"Hyungie~"_

"Jesus, what do you want?" 

 _Please don't let it be third wheel them for their not-date_ , he throws a prayer to God.

"Lemme come to Jisung hyung and your Saturday food run," the boy starts to speak in this whiny, saccharine, candy cane-coated voice and Jaehwan can feel his resolve melting through the cracks of the void. He peeks a look at Hyeongseob's wide eyes and goes limp in the boy's clutch. Hyeongseob squeals and crushes him in a hug, professing eternal 'platonic bro love' for Jaehwan.

He just wants to go hassle a free muffin from Jihoon and bother Daehwi about going on a potential date with Jinyoung.

Now he had tacked on a child to Taewoong and Jisung's first meeting together and he sort of regrets his whole being for being so fucking soft to his children. 

At least it's not 'set me up with Woojin.'

 

Woojin squints. He doesn't normally need glasses but this, _this_ requires squinting for dramatic effect, also because he thinks that squinting helps to diffuse the fact that Hwang Minhyun is loitering around a lecture hall.

Even if he did go on a four month internship slash holiday to Japan, Woojin knows of Hwang Minhyun. 95% of the school population knows of Hwang Minhyun and the rest knows him. Insanely popular, really nice, helps old people cross the street, stays back behind until the last student leaves to turn off the lights, face so handsome it can cure liver cancer - that kind of general information. Woojin has a set image of Hwang Minhyun in his mind and it involves a suave and cool image, someone of poise and elegance, of pristine mannerisms and grace of a feather.

Justin drops his notebook and Minhyun flinches, turning around to see Woojin staring and Justin running away. About twelve other girls scamper off squealing.

All his questions are answered as Kim Jonghyun walks out of the class. Now the princely gentleman has a reason for waiting outside a class. Not like he's awkwardly awaiting his love to exit the door, but waiting for a friend, albeit a bit awkwardly. It's not something Jaehwan-hyung would lose tears over once he discovers that Minhyun is romantically interested in someone else that exists physically and not in the abstract.

"What's up?" Jonghyun asks. Woojin is close enough to eavesdrop. He's curious too. Why is the normally poise prince so off and jittery today?

"I saw him today," Minhyun rushes his words, the slightest Busan satoori tripping on his tongue, "you know, interesting guy, who I met once but can't forget."

He doesn't stay long enough to listen to the rest of the conversation. He's late for a meeting and he has to run.

 

Jaehwan arrives at Jihoon's workplace dejected, dragging his feet like he fought three world wars and escaped the KKK. Jihoon throws a dish towel at him for being late, but still makes him free hot chocolate and pushes a plate of muffin over the counter, in which Jaehwan scarfs down gratefully. Before Jihoon can properly chastise him for ditching their 'hyung-dongsaeng bonding time', Jihoon slams into the cafe's door, yanks the door open and nearly faceplants himself onto the Welcome mat.

"Just saw Hwang Minhyun outside of Kim Jonghyun's class," he dives in without any greeting, wheezing as he speaks, "and he's all nervous and shit. So I eavesdropped and he said he saw the guy who he finds interesting despite them meeting once but he can't forget him."

Jaehwan nearly breaks the plate in surprise. Jihoon quickly pulls it away, muffin and all, eyes wide at Woojin and Jaehwan who were both wheezing for different reasons.

"No one knows this, I just found out, hyungie," Woojin tries to hug him awkwardly, tongue swiping his snaggle tooth once per second, "don't be sad."

"Screw Hwang Minhyun, there are other people who will reciprocate your feelings, hyungie," Jihoon nearly falls over the counter, reaches his hand out instead and holds Jaehwan's own. He finds that he's not really feeling much and the general disappointment he expects to feel when he hears the words Hwang Minhyun 'likes someone else' doesn't come. 

With a sort of half-delirious, half-content shout, he whispers, "I'm okay. I'm not freaking out and crying over lost love. I'm fine."

Woojin gives him a look that in his muddled brain, Jaehwan can't interpret. But it's most likely concern.

"Are you - can you-," Jihoon hesitates but Jaehwan already pulls away, face stretched into some sort of smile.

"Guanlinie is calling me. I'll see you both later!"

 

"Should I," Woojin turns to Jihoon, "not tell him that?"

"Nah," the older male looks out the window at his hyung's disappearing back, "he knows it's a crush. He has to come to reality with it at some point. But," the brunette chews on his lips, "who is this person?"

"No idea. I didn't stay to hear the rest," Woojin shrugs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone want to have a dig at who Minhyun's special interest is you're more than welcome to tell me your theories.


	6. Of protective friendship and a sea full of love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I bring you:  
> \- Guan Lin's amazing brain powers  
> \- OngHwan as the ultimate BROTP  
> \- Taewoon being cute together  
> \- Jisung as an actual mum  
> \- protective squad pulling up to break Minhyun's face (I'm sorry Minhyun)  
> \- holy band of merry brothers and their sanctified gathering  
> \- ONGNIEL IS LOVE ONGNIEL IS LIFEEE  
> \- many dashes because I am shady  
> -much screams many loudness   
> \- Jihoon as the angel drop-kicked from heaven and the voice of chocolate caramel fudge on washboard abs  
> \- violence as the new PDA trend  
> \- me trying to be funny/serious and end up very lame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's long and I'm sorry, but I wanted to get everything out so that who Minhyun is interested in will be revealed in the next chapter. I'm sorry about the ambiguity of the last chapter, but the response I got was really amazing, so many of you are invested in frankly the most awkward thing I wrote, so thank you so much!!!!
> 
> Please please send me nice comments so that I can continue to give update!!!

"Fucking kill me," Guan Lin groans. Sungwoon pokes his tongue out and nuzzles closer to Taehyun's side, whose hand absent-mindedly tugs onto Sungwoon's hair.

Seungwoo trains his expression into an earth-bound neutrality, lips set on a line. Guan Lin constantly bounces up and down, asking to be killed every twenty seconds. Unlike the kid, he has less of an impulse to reach over to his hyungs and throttle them. There is a honeymoon period where newly-formed couples are allowed unlimited PDA access for about a week. Taewoon, in Daehwi's excited casino poker chips dispense of ship names, had been newly established for two days. Seungwoo cannot interfere with the sacred laws of love, lest Jaehwan and Jisung sit on him for it. 

Speaking of them two, _where are they?_ Their Saturday food run always sees Jisung coming in earlier than everyone else and has snacks sprawled all over the table. Jaehwan is unsurprisingly late, but Jisung has only been late twice in the time that Ong Seungwoo knows him for: when his sister got married, all the way across Seoul, and he somehow, inhumanly, made it to Seungwoo's dance showcase missing only the first two performances. The second time was when he fell off his bike and got Seungwoo to triathlon-limp him to Woojin's exhibition thing, cutting as close as the boy nearly finishing his speech.

The door opens and in comes Choi Taewoong, or as Daniel refers to him, _my second mother_. Taewoong gives the four of them a curt nod, pulls out a chair and sits down like he's been an integral part of their merry band of brothers.

"Uh," Seungwoo begins, unsure of how to continue, "are you invited?"

"Jaehwan did," is the reply he gets. 

"Why?" He frowns. "You broke some guy's leg for him?"

Guan Lin has a contemplative look on his face, finger under chin. Sometimes foreign children scare Seungwoo. Daehwi, Guan Lin and Zhengting. Terrifying. They know too much. They've seen too many things. 

"You're friends with Daniel-ssi, right?" Guan Lin asks.

Taewoong nods.

"And Jaehwan hyung invited you."

Another nod.

"That can't be it. Jaehwan hyung always pays back people for their favours. There's no way he invited you over for food on merit of being Daniel's friend. Did you do something for him?"

"I just forced Daniel-goon into a decent outfit," the boy shrugs, stone-cold expression attached almost permanently on his face. Seungwoo swivels to face him, mouth falling open.

"You forced Daniel into _those clothes?"_

Taewoong lifts an eyebrow, needing to words to explain himself. Not that he needs to. That is a nice eyebrow. 

 _Focus Seungwoo, you are a married man,_ he mentally slaps himself. _Think of your future puppies and children with Daniel._

"Thank you, honestly. I owe you," he tells the boy instead. Taewoong waves it aside, face a bit softened now.

"At least now it's less 'do you think I have a chance' and more 'he's done this he's so cute'. Honestly I prefer a stupidly in love Daniel than a sulking one."

Seungwoo squeals so loud, claiming that he will name his first born after Taewoong and Guan Lin has to throw a box of tissues at his face for his rambling to stop.

 

 _"Where are you, and I'm so sorry~"_ Sungwoon starts to sing as an hour passes by. Taehyun has given up waiting for the other two to arrive, pulling out his homework and squinting over the words, hand moving to rest on the back of Sungwoon's neck. Guan Lin has fallen asleep on the table, almost all of his upper body taking up space on the table. Taewoong and Seungwoo begin another a game of eye staring contact, eyes red and veins popping due to intervals of one minute of unblinking staring. 

"Sorry I'm late!" Daniel runs at them, stomach crashing onto the table and Guan Lin's head nearly rolls off the table top. Sungwoon and Taewoong lunge across to catch the boy, Seungwoo barely able to doge out of the way and gasping loudly. Taewoong catches the back of Guan Lin's shirt, hauling him up while Sungwoon has an arm, pulling him back. Guan Lin is jerked awake and looking at all of them owlishly, like he hasn't come this close to falling off a table to a concussion.

"I'm _so_ sorry." Daniel breathes out a flurry of satoori so fast even Seungwoo's seasoned Korean vocabulary can't keep up, let alone Guan Lin's amateurish limited Korean skills.

"Nah nah, it's fine," Guan Lin waves him aside, coughing. "Why are you here and not Jisung-hyung?"

Daniel comes by his side, flashing him a brief bunny smile and slips his hand into Seungwoo's. Squeezing softly, Daniel sags onto his side and grimaces at the general direction of everyone else.

"Jaehwan didn't feel well so Jisung-ssi is staying behind to look after him."

"I call bullshit," Guan Lin shoots the excuse down straight away. "He was up and screaming this morning."

"He stole my socks, cackled and ran outside at the ass crack of dawn," he deadpans. "That bitch is more than fine."

"But neither one of them texted us," Sungwoon scrunches his nose. "You know how they are. Jaehwan is a serial spammer and Jisung-hyung has the human decency to alert some people of whether he's living or not. Hyung wouldn't pull a 'hey so I forgot to text you that I'm not coming to this important lunch thing sorry kids'". Taehyun pats his cheek, table miraculously cleared, somehow managing to not let go of Sungwoon's hand and packing away his books at the same time. 

"It's either something to do with the restaurant or he caught something since this morning," Seungwoo deducts. "Jaehwan is a petty bitch. Once he hates, he harbours it forever."

"It's off-campus," Taehyun speaks at last, voice raspy from staying silently all morning, "there can't be that many people he knows and hates here."

"Well, uh," Daniel scratches his head, "it's got nothing to do with that?"

Seungwoo swings his head to gives his boyfriend a look. Daniel gives him a kicked puppy look, bunny teeth scraping on his bottom lip.

"Apparently it's about Hwang Minhyun?"

Sungwoon nearly flips the table while Seungwoo and Guan Lin stand up, clattering the chairs. Taehyun in vain tries to pull his boyfriend back and Taewoong stoically remains sitting despite three people nearly hitting him on the face and throwing chairs around. 

"What did he do?" Seungwoo's teeth gnashing runs concurrent to Guan Lin's "Should we come back to the dorm?"

"Hyung, you talk to Jonghyun-hyung more than I do," Daniel points to Taewoong suddenly, "do you know anything?"

"That Minhyun has a crush on someone?"

Seungwoo actually screams now. Sungwoon joins him in shared agony. The restaurant owner turns a deaf ear to their table. Jaehwan comes here every month. He's even louder than this whole table combined, with that witchy cackle of his. Seungwoo is justified, okay? He just found out his best friend's crush has a crush on someone that ain't his best friend and he is thoroughly not pleased. Nuh uh, no sir. He will scream if he needs to. 

"What?" He lunges across to Taewoong, grabbing the boy's shoulders. "Tell me!"

"I only found out yesterday. Apparently Minki saw Minhyun stalking his lover boy near a lecture hall and Jonghyun happened to be nearby so he grabbed him. We sat him down and found out what's going on." Seungwoo's grip slacks and he starts to shake. Daniel prises his hands off Taewoong's shoulders and presses his fingers in between his palms, squeezing his shivering fingers until they still.

Guan Lin's mouth sits on a harsh line and he's half standing, half sitting. Sungwoon's breaths are loud and laboured, Taehyun's hands rubbing back and forth across his back to ease the tensed muscles.

Taewoong gives them a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry about Jaehwan-ssi. A lot of people were heartbroken as well when the news circulated. I think his fan club spread it an hour after he told Jonghyun."

"I should go then," Seungwoo tells them, "I'm sorry this is the many few times we cancelled it, but -"

"We'll relocate. Let's eat at your dorm," Taehyun stands up, hands still entwined with Sungwoon. 'Up, come on. Before Jaehwan breaks some shit or murders someone."

"I approve of your status as this hyung's boyfriend," Guan Lin tells Taehyun solemnly. They stare at each other for a weird second before bursting out grinning, Taehyun's other hand on Guan Lin's back and one entwined with Sungwoon still.

Seungwoo quickly follows them, his feet carrying him to the car almost subconsciously. He doesn't hear the murmur of words exchanged between Daniel and Taewoong as he speeds past them. 

 

_"Do you know who it is, hyung?"_

_"Jonghyunnie does, but he's not telling."_

 

"Jaehwannie!" He nearly rips the hinges off the door and is greeted by an Ahn Hyeongseob behind the door, not even surprised at his entrance. "What?"

"He's getting ready inside Jisung-hyung's room," Hyeongseob stands bodily in front of him, smile still fixed on his face. "Don't even come in. Hyung threatens bodily harm to anyone who enters. He was sharpening his eyebrow pencil before."

"Let me see Jaehwan," Seungwoo pushes with his shoulder. 

"No, seriously, I'm here to tell you that he only will communicate with hyung and the door's locked," the boy gives him a soft look, "I don't know what happened exactly, but we should let him have some space first before we talk to him."

"But-"

"Kitchen, come on," Taehyun comes up behind him and pushes him away, "you too, Woonnie."

"Bitch why-" Sungwoon struggles behind him, "yah! I want to see him too!"

"Move or I'm carrying you."

"But why is Jaehwan hyung getting ready?" Guan Lin finally pushes into the entrance, Taehyun and Sungwoon's bickering with Seungwoo's screaming echoing in the hallway.

"He has a performance today. In the music hall? Jisung hyung and him were both preparing for that since yesterday, so I think that's probably why they weren't able to come today. I was about to leave to tell you guys actually, before Seungwoo hyung nearly flattened my face," Hyeongseob leans against the wall, eyes looking at Jisung's closed door. Guan Lin stays still, eyes narrowed. 

"You say that you don't know what happened, but it seems like you know something."

"I think I do, but I don't know for sure," the other boy hums back.

Guan Lin remains quiet.

"Say if I get Woojin-ssi to go bowling with you tomorrow, would you tell me what it is?"

Hyeongseob giggles but stops once he sees the dead serious look in the Taiwanese boy's eyes.

"You're on, sweetheart. Do your worst."

 

Hyeongseob should've known better. Guan Lin is the fourth generation of children that Jaehwan raised (being Jihoon, Hyeongseob, Daehwi then him) and Jaehwan passes his craft and cunning ways to all his children. By the time Taewoong and Daniel filter in through the door, Guan Lin is furiously typing on his phone and calling someone, face pinched in concentration. By the second phone call, Guan Lin gives him the 'it is done' look and Hyeongseob is less terrified and more impressed.

"After the concert's done, I'll tell you," he whispers to the boy, passing into the kitchen.

 

In the kitchen, Seungwoo had been appeased by his compulsion to check up on Jaehwan by a scarily efficient Taehyun who not only handles him but Sungwoon simultaneously. Daniel who mills about smiling puppy smiles at the boy might've helped too. 

"Who-?" Hyeongseob looks at Taewoong, jumping a little bit because the guy is dead quiet and he only just saw him. Daniel clutches the man's elbow, grinning a bunny teeth smile, eyes folding into cute crescents.

"My hyung. Hyung, this is Ahn Hyeongseobie. Seobie, this is Choi Taewoong, my eomma."

Taewoong has a face like a rock, that is to say, lifeless. His eyes do soften a little bit as he shakes Hyeongseob's hand, but his entire face hasn't even shifted a single muscle. He bumps into Daniel, murmuring lowly and they move aside for a blur which turns out to be Sungwoon running at Jisung's door, knocking impatiently.

"Hyungie! You didn't come for food so we brought food to you!"

A scuffle then Jaehwan throws open the door, face freshly made up and generally less maniacal and more your-local-singer-waiting-to-be-street-casted. Seungwoo drops a tea towel and jumps at Jaehwan who catches the taller male like he's used to it. Jisung emerges, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, hair messy and full of glitter and foundation powder. The hair clip he used to push back his bangs is tucked onto his front pocket and he pushes his bangs away from his forehead, smiling softly at the boys outside his door. About three people didn't miss the way one person is staring blatantly at this.

Guan Lin spares the interaction a short look and cringes into himself. Taehyun blinks, nods and holds onto the back of Sungwoon's shirt who gives Taewoong a once over. A very long once over. He springs back and attempts to jump at Jisung but the brunette dusts his palms onto his pants and gives Sungwoon a hug, wrapping an arm around the back of the blonde's neck, pulling him to his chest.

"Why the fuck do you look like Korea's Next Top Model?" Seungwoo slides off Jaehwan and starts to playfully throttle the other boy. Jaehwan cackles carelessly, the sound off from his usual manic laugh and pushes his friend off, lips still stretched in a smile.

"I have my performance today."

"What performance?" Seungwoo squints.

"Your midterm?" Taewoong's voice drifts from somewhere.

"That one," Jaehwan points at his face. Seungwoo still squints, in confusion. "You don't remember?"

"I had a reason, okay," Seungwoo shoves Jaehwan. The _I was worried about you and didn't pay much attention to anything else_ goes unheard, but Jaehwan's eyes gain a bit of the manic light he normally harbours. 

"Try me, bitch," the other boy shoves him back and they begin a tussle in the hallway until Guan Lin removes Jaehwan away from Seungwoo and walks them to the kitchen.

 

In the kitchen, Jisung is simultaneously impressed and mildly concerned that Taehyun, in almost three years of knowing the boy, can cook. And does it well. Sungwoon and Daniel dash back and forth in the dorm's kitchen, frantically trying to match Taehyun's rapid fire instructions at the speed of twenty words a second. Jisung has to jump out of the way at one point or Daniel would've barreled into him.

He finds a sleepy-looking boy in his kitchen, tall, making no sounds and seemingly blending into a part of the floor. Jisung picks out a strong nose and long bangs which cover the lidded eyes. It's a unique feature on someone and his eomma raised him right, so he makes his way to the boy, body language open and friendly. Guan Lin had appeared in this dorm in the exact same way and while Jaehwan jumped on him and couldn't see the young boy for about a month after moving in, Jisung chose the careful approach which granted him an eternal pass in Guan Lin's good books. The boy's eyes scan over the top of his head and focuses on his face suddenly, dark eyes wide. Jisung knows he's not that good-looking, standing next to the likes of Ong, Guan Lin, Jinyoung, Jihoon and more children under his clutch. But this boy's eyes watch his every moment, eyes stretched wide, like he's afraid that Jisung will disappear if he blinks.

It's a bit flattering to be honest. Not like the guy isn't that bad looking, but it's this time in the year where everyone stops trying to look like a human and just drags themselves out of bed to go to classes (unless you're blessed like 80% of Jisung's dongsaengs, then you don't need any preparation to look beautiful). So looking decent is a feat on its own and Jisung spent like a whole minute just looking dumb in front of a stranger.

"Hello. I'm Yoon Jisung. I apologise for how much my dongsaengs bothered you. It's a busy day." He puts out a palm. Stranger Man shakes his hand briefly but firmly, never breaking eye contact with Jisung. Surprisingly it's not a low voice, but Jihoon has the face of a child but the voice of a fully developed man, so Jisung shouldn't really judge.

"Choi Taewoong. It's not a bother. Jaehwan mentioned it was his performance today, so I was surprised it wasn't busier." 

"You talk to Jae-yah?" His eyebrows raise.

"We fraternise over Ongniel together," Taewoong nods with the littlest of nods.

"Are you..." Jisung tilts his head, "using fraternise in the right context?"

"I never plan to become chums with Kim Jaehwan nor was it an initiative on my part. Jaehwan tracked down my class schedule and had not stopped spamming me for the past three weeks. Fraternise is a loose term. The best term I am on with Jaehwan-ssi is a mild acquaintanceship."

"God that was brutal," Jisung laughs and clasps a hand over his chest. "Well, I have to go and drive Jaehwannie to the hall. If you want, you can join all of us."

"Euigeon-ah is coming, by default I am to accompany him as his babysitter," the boy replies without missing a beat, closing his eyes softly and opening them. 

"Do you talk about everyone in this way?"

Taewoong gives him a long look.

"Probably."

 

_"Hyungie!"_

"Oh my god Jae-hyung!"

Guan Lin moves aside while the Taewoon duo simply hang back behind Jaehwan who after raising his children should know they greet by tackles, not words. Daehwi and Jihoon barrel into the brunette, not even apologetic as they screech discordantly about how they were 'dead worried' and 'we thought you died'.

"Choke him to death," Ong calls out from Daniel's back.

"You fucking choke to death!" Jaehwan returns without turning. Daehwi claps like he personally loves violent banter, which he normally instigates, smile split wide. Jihoon has an arm thrown over his shoulder protectively, full ~~fangs~~  teeth out on display. Approximately thirty people steered clear of these three and the entourage of straight up scowling men behind Jaehwan. Guan Lin is doing an excellent job of navigating them through the crowd to backstage, with Hyeongseob and Daehwi ~~frighteningly~~ successfully bribe their ways into the changing room with Jaehwan.

"Alright, that's it. Three at a time," Hyeongseob turns to them and ushers people out, with people pinching him ~~Seungwoo,~~  elbowing him ~~Taehyun~~  and trying to yell through the thick doors to Jaehwan ~~Sungwoon.~~  

Jihoon, Jisung and Daehwi get I-know-you-for-the-longest-time privileges, so they naturally assume they would be able to stay. Not like anyone would challenge those three. That's a death wish. Jihoon has the face of an angel drop-kicked from heaven because he gave humans light and beauty, but the voice of melted chocolate caramel fudge on washboard abs (sourced from many many fan boys and girls around campus). He can take and has taken people down in a fight before because once poked the wrong way he will beat the bastard up twenty shades of purple and blue into next year. Daehwi is cute but he's raised simultaneously by Eunki and Jaehwan, which in commoner's language means Shady, Salty and Fucking Psychotic. Also anyone who even breathes dirty air around Daehwi will have to answer Jinyoung and the guy has a black belt in hapkido or some other dangerous underground martial arts thing.

Jisung is so pure the thought of making him sad doesn't even cross people's minds. He smiles and people go 'okay I'll bake you cookies and give them to you in a basket with a purple ribbon'. What Jisung asks, he gets. It gets terrifying the more people see it at effect.

"Hold up," Taehyun turns away from his post on Sungwoon's neck. "I smell a snake."

Choi Minki waltzes by, black hair and elegant face all dolled up. Kim Jonghyun follows close, eyes smiling at the various lounging boys who may or may not have sprung up to guard the waiting room's door.

"Hello dears," Minki beams at them, "here for Jaehwannie?"

"Hey Minki-yah," Daniel waves, "where's the rest of your squad?"

"If you mean Mihyun-hyung then he's helping one of his kids tune guitars. He should be here soon though," Minki replies just as airily as his footsteps. Seungwoo glares at them. "My, how hostile. What's wrong?"

"Jae-" Seungwoo tries to break away from Daniel's grip but Taewoong holds him back, shifting to stand in front of the Ongniel dynamic couple. 

"Excuse Seungwoo. He thinks everyone is competition to Jaehwan-ssi and he wants to fight all of them."

"Bitch when do I-" the boy in question grouses from behind the taller male, face scrunched up in fake anger. 

"Sorry to Jaehwannie, but Sewoonnie is going to end you all," Minki beams, slightly less offended. Seungwoo pokes a tongue out at the boy. Jonghyun glances at his watch and says something to Minki who waves at them. "Toodles now, children. Warm-ups are starting. I hope you come second place at most."

"Seungwoo, Seungwoo, Ong, come on," Sungwoon tries to pull his dongsaeng back, "calm down."

"Why the fuck do you want me to calm down? Hwang Minhyun is here! Jaehwan's gonna see him!" Others try in vain to keep the boy from bolting after Minki. 

"Seungwoo-hyung."

Seungwoo drops a flailing arm.

"Look at me, hyung."

He turns to look at warm chocolate eyes, the creases folding at the corners. Daniel's hands clasp his cheeks, thumbs ghosting over cheekbones. 

"Breathe, hyung. I'm here."

Sungwoon turns around to try the same thing to Taehyun, only to get slapped in the wrist. Hyeongseob laughs at them from the door.

"Why did I even pick a fight with the wrong guy for?" Seungwoo whines, face now tucked into Daniel's neck who coos and pets his hair gently. "He doesn't even know that Jae-goon is mop-"

He springs back up so fast the side of his head knocks into Daniel's jaw. After profusely apologising, rubbing the injured site and kissing Daniel loudly, Seungwoo gives a bewildered look to all the boys there.

"Holy shit no one knows Jaehwannie has a massive gay crush on Hwang Minhyun and I was this close to spilling it."

"Dumbass," Guan Lin calls out from somewhere.

"You're like five. Don't swear," Sungwoon scolds the Taiwanese boy who stares down at the blonde incredulously. 

"Is he kidding me? Tell me he's joking," he looks around, gesturing with his phone. Taehyun pulls his boyfriend into a headlock and they tussle playfully, Sungwoon momentarily forgetting to keep an eye out for the smaller ones.

"You're scarily efficient at crowd control," Hyeongseob points his phone at Taewoong who hasn't said another word since throwing Seungwoo under the bus. "Join our holy band of merry brothers."

"You need to stop," Guan Lin tells him.

"Anger isn't the best way to solve anything," Daniel murmurs softly. "And Jaehwan wouldn't want us to publicly announce to the entire school that he's the same rank as the Fan Club." 

They shudder, memories of the Basketball Bash-up still fresh. Victoria Kim is a crazy asshole, but so are the rest of the Fan Club. Jaehwan wouldn't survive, even with constant vigilance. He'll get crushed by the second day with their obsessive revenge scheme. 

"I'm so gay for you right now," Seungwoo looks Daniel in the eye, dead serious. Daniel's ears turn bright red and Seungwoo hides his face behind his hands, squealing. 

Someone jeers. There are a few boos. Sungwoon tells them to get a damn boat and 'throw yourself into the goddamn water'. 

"Okay plebs, I'm back and better than before. Sewoonnie can't win I owe him like forty thousand wons. Move move move," Jaehwan throws open the door and Daehwi has his hands on his back, forming a train but also giving them this look.

People around campus spread this rumour that this entire friend group has mutual telepathy. But they just can read each other's expressions so well they don't need words sometimes.

Daehwi's eyes say "He's all good now. Thanks for worrying."

Jisung pokes his head out and gives a thumbs up. Taehyun visibly sags with relief, shoulders dropping.

Jaehwan is already on the stage by the time they all gather together. There is some light banter with Sewoon on stage and mic checks and people generally tripping over cords.

"Wait wait wait oh my god," Guan Lin suddenly runs to the stage but security holds him back, glaring.

"Why are you-" Daehwi points to the tall boy, eyebrows pinched.

Woojin comes crashing from somewhere, arms flailing. He knocks into Guan Lin and Daehwi who scatter away.

"Bitch the fuck is you-" Daehwi screeches again, dusting his jacket.

Woojin waves him aside.

"What's wrong, Woojin-ah?" Jisung asks.

Woojin gulps in a breath.

 

"Hwang Minhyun's outside. Front row."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I tagged Minhwan but I've done anything but. IT WILL COME I JUST PACE THINGS OUT REALLY WIDELY PLEASE FORGIVE MY PLANNING ABILITIES I WANT IT TO BE SLOW


	7. Of erasing memories of love and glances in the dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I bring you:  
> \- the best ways to get over your crush not liking you back or realising you don't exist by Kim Jaehwan  
> \- it's to write a song about it  
> \- lyrics from Never because it's a beautiful song and I can only write prose not lyrics  
> \- Jinyoung your local therapist but also 100% will sneak you out of your house in the dead of the night to the park to just talk  
> \- very protective friends  
> \- you know me I love my italics  
> \- when a music assignment turns into Korea Got Talent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this answers some questions. ALSO I UPDATE IN A DAY PLEASE BE GENTLE.
> 
> Dorm arrangements:  
> \- Jaehwan, Jisung and Guan Lin  
> \- Ong lives by himself but always sleeps over at Jaehwan's because they gossip into the night  
> \- Daniel, Taewoong  
> \- Sungwoon, Daehwi, Woojin  
> \- Jihoon, Jinyoung  
> \- Minki, Minhyun, Jonghyun, Dongho  
> \- Eunki, Hyeongseob, Zhengting, Euiwoong

There are two things Jaehwan can be sure of, at this precise moment in time:

1\. He's not going to make it to the Saturday Food Run

2\. Hwang Minhyun is not his to own 

Both kinda suck, to be completely honest. But Jaehwan responds to the calls of love and now it's left him in a miserable place others name Your Own Mind but he knows it personally by The Fucking Hellhole. Right now a loop of 'ya fucking dumb cunt you know Minhyun is the campus's Desirable Bachelor Number 0 why would you even think you have a chance with that' is running overtime inside his ears and honestly he's sick of it. He just ran out from meeting Jihoonie, his precious child, into the bleak obsolete reality that is life and his feet keep carrying him until he's back at his dorm, out of breath.

Nobody is back but him. He should sleep this off or go outside and bother more dongsaengs, but flashbacks of his music assignment which is due tomorrow nag at him, Jisung-shaped, and he contemplates whether he should do well or flunk it.

Unlike Hwang Minhyun, Jaehwan has known music from when he screamed at birth. It's his calling. Failing music is like failing to breathe and he makes up his mind on the spot.

If he can't whine about losing Hwang Minhyun to some unfortunate dongsaeng, then he damn will write a song about it. He sends a silent apology to the sacred Saturday Food Run. He's sure they'll understand.

 

Jisung comes back home seeing shoes stacked on the rack but the dorm surprisingly silent. Then a chord of at least four different sounds ring out from Jaehwan's room and a curse and he knows to leave the boy to stress last minute over his assignment. Four hours, a shower, half a page of thesis and a dinner after, Jaehwan emerges from his bedroom, holding a piece of paper, hollering gibberish.

It sounds like 'Eureka!' but it also seems similar to 'God fucking finally'. Jisung gives him a thumbs up and Jaehwan runs back inside, tripping over something and whooping. Seungwoo, who always sleeps over, is sleeping with earphones in. Guan Lin is a deep sleeper. Neither one of them wake up.

"Go to bed, Jaehwannie!" Jisung calls out to his dongsaeng.

"I will, hyung, don't worry!" A shout then an 'I'm good!' later, Jisung turns back to his thesis, rereading the last part.

 

Bae Jinyoung tries to stay out of loop from the campus's gossip mill, which supposedly can end lives in seconds. But when Jihoon comes back from his work, instead of jumping into the showers, crashes into the couch instead and startles a napping Jinyoung. He blinks, his program already ended and some fishing show is playing, mouth yawning a sleepy 'you're back' to his roommate.

"Not the time, Bae. Something happened to Jae-hyung today. Listen up," Jihoon's accent is thick on the words, which is why Jinyoung sits up. Jihoon's accent only comes out when something serious is happening. Jinyoung wills his eyelids to stay open widely and Jihoon nearly smacks him on the face for falling back asleep.

"What happened?" He slurs.

"Hwang Minhyun happened, brat."

He sits up so fast he nearly bit his tongue. Forfeiting pain, he gestures for his hyung to continue. Jihoon looks like he doesn't need an incentive to anyway.

"He publicly, well, whatever, he likes someone and it's all over campus. Everyone and their mother are crying. And hyung, well."

There it is, the tongue click. God that is annoying. It's only cute when Jinyoung does it.

"He didn't believe you? He knocked himself out? He cursed Minhyun and found love elsewhere? _What_ , hyung?"

"He ran out. I tried calling him but I don't know what's up. Call Jisung-hyung for me."

Jinyoung actually takes off, shoes slotted on faster than he can blink with Jihoon hollering at his back.

"Yah, crazy bastard, I don't mean by mouth! Bae Jinyoung!"

Jisung gets a call while he's brushing his teeth. A dongsaeng had put Jihoon's jeojang but in the loudest volume possible as his ringtone, with the cute sound now sounding more of a war cry than aegyo. Jihoon's calling ID flashes and as he picks up, a loud voice screams from the other end.

"HI HYUNG PLEASE WATCH OUT FOR A CRAZY BASTARD HEADING YOUR WAY!" He flinches at the first sound and puts the phone away from his ear.

"Jihoon-ah," Jisung breathes, "it is eleven at night. Who would be visiting me at this time?"

"BAE JINYOUNG, DUH!"

"I- what," he looks at the screen and puts it near his ear again. "Bae Jinyoung?"

"Hyung I'm sure you're not deaf or near it, nor do you not speak Korean all of the sudden. You heard my words. Bae. Jin. Young. Small face, tongue like a piece of wood, knows hapkido, gay for Daehwi, _really_ gay for Daehwi. _That_ one." Jihoon somehow makes rolling one's eyes a distinct sound over the phone. Jisung can hear the child rolling his eyes. He should have known better to let Jaehwan raise Jihoon. He used to be such a good kid.

"I can assure you that," Jisung opens his door, letting the wind in, "nobody is coming. The door's open. I'm standing at the door."

Jihoon swears.

"Language, yeobo. You're talking to me," he scolds mildly. 

"Sorry hyung. But Jinyoungie just ran out and," a sigh, "I don't know where he's at. It's eleven. Should I call the police or-?"

Guan Lin stumbles into the hallway, shivering from wearing shorts. Both of his eyes are closed.

"Jaehwan hyung just climbed out the window. He told me to tell you not to worry."

He knocks his head on the wall before falling face first into the couch. Jisung considers whether he should panic or not. 

"How trustworthy is Jinyoungie after ten o'clock?" He asks Jihoon instead.

"Not I-will-crash-you-into-the-Han dangerous but definitely not safe enough to run rampant in the night. Should we seriously call the police?"

"I don't have a class, so I'll stay up waiting. You go to bed. If in an hour, neither of them call, then-," Jisung is in the middle of giving instructions when the 'ping' of an incoming message interrupts him.

 

**jaebaby:**

hyungieee

if guanlin followed my instuction

then ull know im with jinyoungie

we're getting food

will be back at 1

dont stay up

I MEAN IT DONT STAY UP WE R LITERALLY FIVE MINS AWAY I WILL CHECK UP ON U HYUNGIE

 

"Jinyoungie told me to 'sleep and don't wait for me you pink bastard'. How bout you, hyung?"

"He said he'll check up on me and he's five minutes away."

"Do we wait?"

"You sleep. I'll wait."

 

Jaehwan is sure he's missing something.

He looks at his feet.

Socks, right.

Oops.

He just climbed out a window with a cardigan thrown over his shirt and tracksuit, hair forty different directions to fill all the unnamed cardinal points on a compass. One moment he's reaching out to close his window, then Jinyoung's face flashed behind the glass.

Jaehwan is notorious for being light-hearted. He screams in all of his waking moments. Which is why it's like a God-granted miracle from above that he didn't outwardly broadcast to the rest of Seoul that his dongsaeng just popped out of the dark in front of his window. Ong muttered something that sounds like 'no Danny we have to get a puppy at least' and turned in his sleep, face muffled into his pillow. Jaehwan struggled with the latch stuff thing on his window, slid the frame to one side and came nose to nose with Bae Jinyoung.

Normally people ask reasonable things like _'Why the hell are you at my door at the pitch ass dark in the night?'_ and _'Why aren't you in bed?'_

Jaehwan took one look at Jinyoung and told him instead.

"You're wearing different shoes. And I can see that with no light."

Jinyoung raised his eyebrows, no words needed to judge him.

"Oi, I spent like an entire day crafting a masterpiece. Quit that look. I'm mentally exhausted. Leave me or get whatever you need to get out quick so I can shut this."

"I'm hungry. Let's eat," Jinyoung answered him.

 _"Jinyoungie,"_ he breathed in, complaints already bountiful on the tip of his lips. 

"Let's go right now," the gullible child insisted, big eyes on a small face working some strange pitiful elfin looks. _"Please?"_

"Let me tell someone I'm going," Jaehwan found himself answering the big eyes instead of something reasonable like _'Go sleep it's eleven at night.'_ He grabbed his shoes, struggled with a beanie, threw it at Guan Lin's door, came this close to smashing his nose into the doorknob, shouldered his way into the Taiwanese's room and nearly tripped onto Guan Lin's sleeping form on the bed.

"Wuah?" Guan Lin turned, voice thick with sleep. "Who-?"

"Linnie, baby, it's Jae-hyung," he whispered and patted what he presumed was Guan Lin's head. 

His dongsaeng mumbled something in a foreign tongue. It sounded like 'what'.

"Can you tell Jisung-hyung I'm climbing out the window. Don't worry about me I'm safe." He patted the lump a couple more times and Guan Lin sat up, both eyes closed and rolled to the edge of the bed, mumbling in possibly Cantonese still.

"You good, kid?" He patted the boy's back.

"Go," was the slurred response he got. Jaehwan slotted on shoes, jumped over unidentifiable lumps on the ground which he hoped are clothes and not dead bodies. Jinyoung stood outside waiting still, beaming as Jaehwan grabbed two jackets, put a foot on the window ledge and struggled to jump outside. He slid the window pane closed and when he blinked again he's here, now, no socks. He did remember to force Jinyoung into a jacket because God forbid that child be sick in this weather, but forgot to wear socks for himself.

He really should take Ron Weasley's advice to heart. His priorities are not very sorted.

 

"This is the park," is the first thing he tells Jinyoung who gives him a winning smile. "I came with the expectation of food, brat. Feed me."

"I wanted to make a detour so we can talk. It won't be long. We haven't had a heart-to-heart in ages!" Jinyoung whines, scarily like Jihoon when he wants to wheedle coffee from Jaehwan. "Please?"

"Fine, _fine!_ You know I can't say no!" He throws up both hands and winces at the cramps. Jinyoung pulls onto his wrist to the swings, squealing when he secures one, swinging his too long legs from the seat.

Jaehwan looks around. It's cold, no one's around. Some random dangerous person might come and bother the two of them. No one can mug him with Bae Jinyoung around. The kid knows hapkido and he flips hard. So that's not a concern. Just some other more reasonable ones like 'what if I catch a cold now and die in a ditch somewhere' swimming in his mind.

But the stars are out and the moon is this beautiful little sliver of silver and he sighs, his paranoia melting away just a little bit. He hasn't had a still moment like this, since essentially months.

Jinyoung winks at him when he meets his eyes and Jaehwan rolls his own eyes. That's a look that screams 'I know I'm great praise my excellence'.

"What do you want to disclose to me, young padawan? I have a time limit of thirty minutes, make it fast or reschedule another one," he sits on the wobbling seat, feet dragging on the ground as the wind sways the swing. 

"How are you feeling after today?"

Jaehwan should've known there is an ulterior motive for this midnight escapade. He truly underestimates his children. There's _always_ an ulterior motive. 

"Hyungie?" Jinyoung matches his stare. "You don't have to hide anything from me. I'm here to listen."

How does he feel? The music making definitely helped. He no longer wants to pull out some hair and cry to the world about his useless crush, but he's not really over the fluffy cotton candy feels when he sees Hwang Minhyun.

"I don't really know because, I just, it's good that he found someone he likes and that's not so good for everyone else, but it's more disappointing I think, for me. Like the kind of 'it could've been me' mindset isn't healthy, but it's coming up now and again. I wish, sometimes, that I haven't gone as far as being obsessed with this guy, but," Jaehwan blinks up, "it was a fun while it lasted, when he was single. The whole self-insert imagines work because there's no one beside him, but that's gonna be weird now that there's someone. Shit, I'm a horrible person for forcing a taken man in my mind."

Jinyoung remains silent throughout his rant, lips moving. 

"Hyung, do you regret it, having these feelings?"

Jaehwan meets the boy's eyes and grins, for once not faking an 'I'm okay' to himself.

"We are not forever, fill it with tears, with a sad ending, the end of us both, never."

 

"I cannot believe you wrote a song to cope with your crush not returning your feelings," Jinyoung nudges him, hands clutched around a vanilla latte. Jaehwan turns his nose up in the air, frost biting it red.

"That is the best way to get over someone and I will not have you vilifying my efforts. It's a great bop, okay, Youngie?"

"It is," Jinyoung smiles at him, "sing it for me."

He thinks of Hwang Minhyun with eyes closed leaning on a chair in the heat of April. He thinks of Hwang Minhyun who smiled even when the news of his grandfather fallen sick had reached the university gates. He thinks of Hwang Minhyun looking at Seonho like he's his own and patting the boy's hair, long fingers in between hair strands. He thinks of Hwang Minhyun and the piano.

He sings.

 _My own self epilogue, now I end it_  
_I’m going on my way_  
_Not anymore never ever_  
_But why is my heart filling itself with you again_  
_We’re not forever_  
_Fill it with tears, with a sad ending_  
_The end of us both, never_

Jisung doesn't ask questions but makes Jinyoung stays in his room while standing outside Jaehwan's door until he tucks himself under his blankets petulantly like a five-year-old. Murmurs of conversation and a click later and the dorm falls silent.

"I only see you in my head," he tells the ceiling, "by all means, I won’t leave even a trace of you."

 

Jaehwan understands his friends are protective, but this is too much. He can see Eunki's texts bordering on 50 messages and Jinyoung's nine missed calls. Jihoon, Jisung and Daehwi stand before him, arms crossed, eyebrows raised. 

"I know you're worried about me, and thank you for it, but mostly I'm just mopey and I'll get over it in about a week," he waves aside Jihoon's protests of 'but what if you start crying and none of us are up there to help you?' "I am fine, Jihoon-ah."

"Anything we can do for you?" Jisung asks because Jisung knows he needs his space. Jisung probably also knows the magic of music to Jaehwan. One sound and his soul is cleansed. He doesn't need words when music does all the work for him.

Daehwi stomps his feet, pouting. "Why didn't you come to me? I was at home yesterday!"

"Jinyoungie dropped by at night and talked to me. I'm mostly fine now, just a bit gross from all the mushy feelings," he reaches over to squeeze his dongsaeng's hands who starts to whine that he should've helped.

"If Jinyoung-hyung had to drop by to check with you when I could've then that makes me feel even worse!" Daehwi squeezes his fingers, _hard._  

"Next time I'll tell him to do it to you."

"That's not what I'm here for!"

"I kinda feel like a disappointment when I couldn't stop you yesterday," Jihoon says to him, looking down. "Maybe if you had stayed with us it wouldn't be as hard as it was for you."

"None of that," Jaehwan tells him sternly. "Hoonie, look at me. Come on, Park, eyes up here."

Jihoon slowly lifts his head and Jaehwan rolls his eyes. 

"Don't be stupid. You know I need my space. You three overprotective mother hens cornering me is doing more than enough. Seriously, I am okay now."

"But-"

Jisung moves to give Jihoon an one armed hug. Jihoon stuffs his face into Jisung's shoulder and breathes a loud ragged breath.

"We're here for you, okay? You're not on your own," Daehwi gives him a final squeeze before the stage director speaks into his earpiece that he should marshal his ass on the stage in the next second. If he has faulty equipment and he's not outside then they ain't fixing that for him.

So angry, these directors.

"I need to go. I love you all my squishy boys," he gathers them all for a big hug, nose full of hairspray and cologne, "wish me luck."

"You don't need luck," Daehwi scoffs.

"You're Kim Jaehwan," Jihoon deadpans.

"You'll be late if you keep dilly-dallying," Jisung pushes him to the door.

 

"You still owe me cash," Sewoon smiles at him in lieu of a greeting.

"You still have my strings, so I guess we're even," Jaehwan matches the bitchy tone. They consider each other for a bit until both burst out cackling, hugging each other.

"Is my Sewoonnie going to blow this outta the park?" He squeezes the boy's cheek who bats his hand away, laughing. "You're only allowed second place. You can't be any worse."

"So confident already, this hyung. How'd you know you're better?"

"Puh-lease, child, I know I am. I will have this entire auditorium in tears by the time I'm done. I'll even pay you back with interest."

Sewoon gives him a once over.

"Bring it on, hyungie."

 

The light on the left is too much and he can't focus for a moment. His teachers sit in the middle row-ish, pens tapping their chins thoughtfully. He doesn't even understand when or how the midterms for music performance students turn into an outright talent show and someone at some point made the brilliant ~~outrageous~~ idea of renting the auditorium for the night. Now half of the campus come to watch these performances and actually vote for who would come first and such. The first few years people just dismissed it, but as music students their pride in their majors are at stake, also there's actual cash funded by people, so every year this becomes the inaugural Talent Show of The Campus. 

And Jaehwan? He's going to win it or die trying.

He taps the microphone and the static makes him flinch a little. He adjusts his microphone, guitar strap cutting into the side of his neck, sweat already seeping into the back of his shirt. Or was it Ong's? Jinyoung's? Jisung made him put it on and he honest to God has no more idea what clothes are his anymore.

"Contestant Kim Jaehwan with a self-composed song. The title of the track is Never."

He opens his eyes slightly and sees Seulgi giving him a thumbs up. Eunki does the hand to his ear thing, winking. Jinyoung waves at him, beaming.

He thinks of all the merry band of holy brothers backstage scrambling to get to the seats. He thinks of some hair strands that came off yesterday as a product of stress producing a song from scratch.

Most of all, he thinks of Hwang Minhyun.

 _I don’t want to love you,_  
_In the memories that cannot be stopped yeah_  
_Everytime everywhere_  
_I can only see you in my head_  
_I hope it becomes a handful of ashes._

 _I repeatedly erase you everyday_  
_It chills me to the bone, it feels like I’m being poked by the pieces_  
_But as I look back, it’s a bright and dazzling road_  
_By all means, I won’t leave even a trace of you._

 _Not anymore, never ever_  
_But why is my heart filling itself with you again_  
_We’re not forever_  
_Fill it with tears, with a sad ending_  
_The end of us both, never_

 _Leave my side yeah_  
_I’m very scared of you yeah_  
_Everytime everywhere_  
_It was a love that my life wouldn’t even be wasted for_  
_I love you I love you I love you._

 

Jung Sewoon knows for two things:

1\. Kim Jaehwan promised and delivered. The entire auditorium are in tears. Someone sniffs next to him and he's at the very opening to go on stage. The closest person are the security people two metres behind him.

2\. He can kiss goodbye to those 40,000 wons with interest. That's a sure winner right there, out there. Jaehwan even has a backing choir. His entire band of friends shout the bridge over and over. 

The crowd is singing with him too.

That's nice.

Sewoon finds himself mouthing the words.

Ouch.

Did Jaehwan go through a break up?

Those are some heavy words right there. Full of heartbreak and shed tears over a failed love. He glances at the front row. Hwang Minhyun is in for a disappointment. Seems like whoever Jaehwan was singing about really broke his heart.

 

Jaehwan finally opens his eyes, before the ending words. He can tell someone's really glaring at him or they're too enamoured by his singing to take their eyes off. Either options are fine by him, but less of the glaring would be nice. He searches for the person continuously looking for his eyes and lands by dark eyes shining with the stage lights.

"The end of us both, never," he breathes the words, not breaking eye contact with the person staring at him.

It seems like someone he knows, but someone he doesn't at the same time. Some lights go off and Jaehwan is blinded, cursing at the stupid stage lights and their intensity. When the bright spots disappear from his vision, he looks for the person but they're gone. 

The entire auditorium explodes in shouts and applause. Some children of his stand up and chant KIM JAEHWAN. He can see Jisung pulling Jihoon and Daehwi back down, smile splitting his face wide.

Sewoon puts him in a headlock backstage and slapping his chest, crooning praise. Before he can take everything off, the boy whispers into his ear.

"You're pretty popular there, Jaehwan-hyung. Lots of eligible bachelors looking at you."

"Like who?" He gives Sewoon a look.

"Just some people, hyung."

 

"That was an iconic performance," Minki stretches, hands over his head. Jonghyun hands him a water bottle, looking around for Minhyun. "He's off somewhere. Probably too scared that they made eye contact."

"They did?" Jonghyun turns to look at the other boy. Minki gives an impish smile.

"Yup. It was intense. It was also kinda sad that Minhyun ditched straight away. He could've stayed. I'm sure Jaehwan wouldn't mind knowing who was glaring at him in the dark."

"Minhyunnie is weak and scared of confrontation. The thought of being interested in someone scares him. He couldn't have stayed," Jonghyun reminds him gently. "But do you get a sense that Jaehwan wrote a break up song?"

"Definitely," Minki agrees, "that's why Minhyun needs to step up his game otherwise Jaehwan is gone like that."

He clicks. It's supposed to be dramatic but it's just this weak sound in the dark. Jonghyun gives three slow claps.

"Bully," MInki shoves him. Jonghyun shoulders his jacket and drapes Minki's coat over his shoulder, tapping three times on the junction where neck meets shoulder.

"Let's go find Minhyunnie. Sewoon's performance is starting soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, it is Jaehwan, but does Jaehwan know that?
> 
> Of course not.
> 
> I hope you screamed at some point.
> 
> Also please be nice to my fic I wanted to finish it straight away after the last chapter and I had all these ideas so it might be a little bit unpolished.


	8. Of drunken confessions and sudden realisation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I bring you:  
> \- that Minhyun's POV  
> \- Guan Lin being very sane and protective of Jaehwan  
> \- even longer chapters because I am now getting ideas and I'm dumping them all here  
> \- please love Minhyun he's just an insecure bean  
> \- MINHWAN  
> \- land and water meet all the time Minhyun didn't do that well in geography please forgive him  
> -I'm sorry I didn't tag mutual pining but it's definitely mutual pining  
> -a savage Jonghyun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a lot of comments saying that it would be easier if Minhwan would just talk things out -but hear me out, generally when people have crushes on each other they do the Irish tap dance around the problem instead of just confronting straight on. I wanted this to be as close to a realistic portrayal of the crush process as possible and I understand that as the person who write, read and proofread this the whole miscommunication aspect is annoying. So annoying. But please bear with me as I work my way around this because real life kinda sucks and that's why we have fiction, to reassure us that it's not that bad, real life or not. It's not that bad, I think, and I will try my best to bring a resolution to all the problems I made for this fic!

Minhyun had in all sense of the word, **fled**  when he made eye contact with Jaehwan, with only Sewoon and Minki as his witnesses.

That's what he hoped. 

The universe thought otherwise.

Two pairs of eyes saw this entire exchange and a Park Woojin was unknowingly traded as a present of mutual goodwill.

"So," a voice said in the dark, "I guess that explains everything then."

"Do we, like, tell him?" The other voice asked, hesitant. There's a pause.

"Probably not."

 

The backstage crew simultaneously want to throw confetti as congratulation to Jaehwan but also throttle him with his guitar strap. Or at least that's what the murderous look seems to communicate to him is trying to say. Sewoon immediately was marshalled onto the stage and Jaehwan only got to squeeze in a 'good luck' before the other singer disappeared off. There's no light backstage as opposed to the glorious Kingdom of Christ spectacle display of LED lights outside. He feels villified. His retinas are burnt and his eyeballs want to jump out of his sockets. Jaehwan staggers and hears Ong and Taehyun calling for him.

Great, now he's hallucinating.

"Over here, near the fan," he speaks in a general direction. Then something knocks into him.

God Seungwoo needs to chill and stop going to the gym. But it's good that he's not hallucinating as there is a tall human hitting him on the shoulder and chest. Taehyun is scolding them off from the side.

"My bro, my hoe, my boo," Ong's voice chatters in the dark, "you serenaded the entire school. I think I saw Taewoong-ssi cried at some point. That guy is like a rock. He doesn't feel and he cried. Bravo my hoe."

Jaehwan throws a winning cackle just to keep his followers happy and Ong snorts loudly. But knowing his face, that would come off as cute. Stupid good-looking people.

"How are you feeling now?" Taehyun's hand pets his hair. 

"Hyung I'm not Sungwoon-hyung. You don't need physical affection to calm me down. It's weird if you do," he pushes the hand away. Taehyun pinches the back of his hand and Jaehwan half howls half laughs the pain away. 

"Trim your damn nails, hyung!"

"This is why you brats can't go anywhere in life. You keep disrespecting your elders."

Before Jaehwan can answer, many things happen:

1\. There is Sungwoon jumping at him

2\. Daehwi is screaming because Jinyoung runs past

3\. Someone tripping over a cord on the floor, falling and swearing

4\. Multiple camera flashes going off in at least forty different locations

5\. Jisung's 'Can everyone just stop screaming?'

6\. Daniel and Taewoong's weird one-sided (Taewoong isn't doing much, it's just Daniel) celebratory Mexican wave dance

7\. Jihoon nearly decking Taehyun in the face because he pushes through like five layers of humans to get to Jaehwan to give him a hug

And finally, Eunki's cry of 'Let's come to my place and get smashed' that breaks about four levels of the atmosphere and gives Woojin this look of freshly tasting a day old's milk and smelling rotten fish.

Jaehwan accepts Hyeongseob's hug and lets himself be dragged along.

 

It's been like an hour and approximately all the people who are willing to get drunk, too weak to decline drinks, too young to be taking shots and able to drink are all drunk. Guan Lin toes a stomach down Ong Seungwoo aside and sidesteps Eunki and Euiwoong's tango.

He squints. Is that Lee Daehwi twerking on Bae Jinyoung? The shoulder and the hair look about the same, but he can't be too sure. Daehwi's too shy for-

"Dae-yah, Dae-yah, you need to get off me now," a voice that is unmistakably Jinyoung's whispers loudly. "Come on, down boy. I promise to take you out for ice cream later."

Daehwi whines and turns to sit on Jinyoung's lap. Rumours say that they are second to Kang Daniel's legendary thighs and supposedly firm to sit on (Seonho being the sole person who sat on many thighs have graced him with this information which is unreliable but sadly also the only information Guan Lin can salvage off the kid). He's sure it's nice and firm to look at and all, but to sit on them? Unthinkable. But Lee Daehwi when he's inebriated and possibly prone to leg splits? Thinkable. Alcohol does some unspeakable things to people's inhibition.

Guan Lin walks away. If he didn't see it then it didn't happen.

Jaehwan somehow manages to stand on the kitchen counter and starts brandishing his guitar (where did that come from?) around, declaring drunkenly that he's going to solo all of Adele's discography. Sungwoon tries to climb onto the marble top too, Taehyun nowhere to be seen. 

_"Ha Sungwoon get your fucking stupid ass back onto the ground!"_

Whoop, there it is.

The reason Guan Lin is sober in frankly this sea of drunkards is that the smell of alcohol puts him off and he's too suspicious of the strangers milling around the floor to take care of his drunk ass. Jisung and Taewoong are trying to roll an unconscious Daniel to one side, with many other children to be taken care of. Guan Lin doesn't want to be that one kid that they get to last and they just let him die in his alcohol-induced vomit. Not that Jisung will but one can never be too sure. Abstinence is the best prevention for regret.

He waddles through shoes and socks and a bunch of bananas just lying un-trampled in front of the hallway. He's not judging Eunki, he doesn't know the guy enough to. He only talked to the boy once and he had on one of those beatific smiles that can compel you into selling your cat to Satan. Nobody sane picks fights with Eunki. He doesn't run the rumour mill, _he's_ the rumour mill. Too many people believe the guy because he has all of the campus on Snapchat, Facebook, whatever the fuck people nowadays use. Seungwoo is straight? Definitely. Ahn Hyeongseob is secretly a Lady Gaga fan? Got that covered. 

At least, that's what it used to be. Nowadays Minhyun's Fan Club with all the Proper Capitalisation runs the mill, with Eunki still influential but essentially sidelined. Victoria Kim is a public foe, greatly feared and generally avoided when people see her. 

Which is why he doesn't want to tell Jaehwan that the great Hwang Minhyun was looking on him during his performance like he gave rabbits wings and embodied the word 'beautiful'. His fan clubs wrecked hell on Daehwi when there were rumours of a boy low-key following Minhyun around and Daehwi had bravely volunteered as tribute. A couple of pictures of Daehwi and Somi cropped up and nasty things like 'he's just pretending to be gay to get attention' and 'even Jeon Somi too how disgusting.' Ong brandished his Benevolent World Leader Smile and promptly told them off, otherwise he'd put a ban on their club activities. Just for insurance, Jinyoung and Guan Lin found Victoria Kim and made it specifically clear that Daehwi wasn't the least interested in Minhyun and she should leave him alone. Jinyoung might have let it slip that he wouldn't mind going to prison again for assault and bodily harm and Kim ditched, low-key terrified that Jinyoung wasn't kidding. That put a stop to those comments, but people still scoff at Daehwi in the hallways even now. Daehwi in all honesty didn't feel bothered by the attacks, but Jaehwan? He's only strong in front of the merry band of holy brothers and the general public when it's not Hwang Minhyun. He's a weakass bitch when it comes to his own love life. Those fan girls will crush his hyung. All forces must be amassed to stop Jaehwan from knowing he's Minhyun's special interest because heartbreak is one thing, but Victoria Kim and her minions are another. 

Hyeongseob did at first offer the reasonable option of Minhyun being stunned by Jaehwan's voice because that's an initiation rite all people went through hearing Jaehwan sings. Guan Lin dismissed it straight away. It wasn't a look of admiration. The line between respect and infatuation becomes sort of distinct when you forget to clap when the performance's done and still staring that the performer. Minhyun blinked about four times throughout the four minutes Jaehwan performed and the only people Guan Lin can think off the top of his head that do that are Bae Jinyoung who creepily stares at Lee Daehwi when he's fallen asleep during movie nights and Kang Daniel who smiles at Ong Seungwoo when the boy turns his head like he's the Sun with a capital S. Those are painful minutes where the human eyes must've become a wasteland of frozen tear tracks. But Minhyun soldiered on, like what Jisung referred to as 'not blinking because the person in front of you might disappear if you do'.

Guan Lin shudders. Love sounds like it's harder to learn than three languages. He'll pass on that.

A chord rings out and 'Skyfall' is belted out by Sungwoon and Jaehwan, accompanied by a Woojin who seems a bit too drunk to sing in English. Guan Lin steps over the bananas and tries to wrestle the door open without disturbing the garland of garlic around the doorknob. He heard from someone or another ~~Daehwi~~ that Zhengting had somehow managed to convince Eunki of rampaging vampires around campus. The only prevention method from this apocalypse are garlic garlands. Guan Lin's not judging though. He lives with Jaehwan. One day he woke up with horseshoes all over the house before Jaehwan's business exam because apparently horse shoes are lucky and in having many horse shoes the luck in the house would explode exponentially. Garlic is mild compared to horseshoes. Jisung stubbed two toes and Guan Lin came close to busting a nose from falling to the floor. Garlic is fine. Vampires are fine. They can just come and take him away from this hellhole.

He yanks the door open and nearly screams. There are people behind the door.

"Sorry we're late," the guy he remembers as the one mocking Seungwoo backstage breezes in, "Sewoonnie took forever to pack up."

"Well I'm sorry I'm careful," a completely unfamiliar guy rolls his eyes. "Sorry, I'm Jung Sewoon. That's Choi Minki, this is Kim Jonghyun," he jerks a thumb to Unidentified Backstage Guy Number 2, Jonghyun, who bows to Guan Lin. He quickly returns the bow and comes back up with a face he doesn't expect to be in the exact vicinity Kim Jaehwan is in.

Hwang Minhyun nods and bows at him, murmuring a low 'I'm Hwang Minhyun.'

Guan Lin replies with the stock response - "My name's Lai Guan Lin."

Now how does he get rid of this guy before Jaehwan can recognise him in his drunken stupor?

 

Hwang Minhyun is a man of many things, just as people are, but he is definitely not someone without composure. He likes to think himself composed and logical through many unwarranted situations, given the sheer amount of times Seonho had jumped on him during all of his childhood. Not much had changed since then, except that Seonho is really tall now and a Choi Minki had refused to let him be free of his clutches.

He prefers the time when all he should worry about is feeding his dog and Seonho when he gets back from school. Nowadays he has to worry about too many things and he's suffocating through the layers of expectations that those who know and don't know him think of Minhyun. He can't be Hwang Minhyun the kid that snuck a sparrow in his schoolbag for three hours in grade five and nursed it back to health on his sister's balcony. Now he has to be Hwang Minhyun the school president and the captain of the swim team with winning visuals and grace rivalling even Burberry models. Rudeness is not in Minhyun's blood and before he can put a stop to all of these expectations, he finds himself swept along to the university's gates, multiple fan clubs bearing his name.

God they're _suffocating._ He can't breathe and Seonho can't breathe. They find photos and videos and things he wrote back when he's 12. When Seonho visited him bearing fruit baskets from his mother, a couple of girls had threatened him at the gate, backs to Minhyun, fingers too close to his childhood friend's face for comfort.

"What do you mean I can't come in? You don't own the school!" Seonho cringed his nose and sidestepped the barricade of girls, shoulders moving up and down irritably.

"You can't come in to see Hwang-ssi," one girl crossed her arms. "He told us he didn't want any visitors."

"I was in a call with him like a minute before you all came and if he didn't want to see me, then he'd tell me that before telling me to come up here. Don't call hyung that it's weird. Goodbye," Seonho moved to walk around them.

"You know him?" Someone he recognised as a classmate from psychology piped up. "A childhood friend?"

"Hyungie!" Seonho spotted him and gave him a wide-eyed look. "Let's eat!"

They ran away before the girls could corner them both, Minhyun's hand linked with Seonho.

"Hyungie," the boy looked at him later, "why didn't you interfere?"

Minhyun paused.

"I'm sorry, Seonho-yah," he could only tell the boy. His childhood friend waved it aside, grinning.

"I'm only messing with you hyung. I can handle myself. I know how scared you are of confrontations."

 

"Just remember to confront the things you truly love otherwise they'll disappear before your eyes."

 

And because he's never been truly passionate about anything except swimming, Minhyun is a man of composure. The public charade continues on even with Minki and Jonghyun nagging at him to drop the act, disapproval heavy on their faces whenever they meet up. But Minhyun can't.

"Why not?" Minki asked him once.

He has a point. Minhyun doesn't know why himself. Why would he keep up a pretense of princely auras?

Because how boring he is without the politeness, of how there's nothing to show besides an empty shell? 

Because of how he doesn't know who he is besides the Hwang Minhyun that is Number One Desirable Bachelor on Campus?

Because of how he has to confront to the disapproval of more people than his friends?

He lets his fingers trail the piano keys, a discordant melody.

Maybe more than anything, Minhyun is just scared of no one accepting him.

 

He knows Victoria Kim is in all sense of the word, crazy about him, but god this is another level. He hears the screaming and he climbs the stairs two at a time, people pointing and whispering as he runs past, looking at him but not at him. 

"Hwang Minhyun! He's taking away Hwang Minhyun from the rest of the campus once he signed that form! So we have to eliminate him! Minhyun-ssi belongs to everyone and he shouldn't be locked up in an office all week where no one but Jisung-hyung could see him!"

He pauses as he processes the sentence, shuddering as the stake on him runs deep in the words without him knowing. Before he can reach out and tell Victoria off, a boy he recognised as being in one of the business course snarls at Victoria, eyes livid.

"Grow up will you? You don't own Minhyun."

Hwang Minhyun considers himself to be a man of composure and at that moment he finds that he has none. 

Maybe it's because no one besides Minki and Dongho stand up for him and nowadays it's Seonho as well. Maybe it's because someone who doesn't know him well or at all is speaking on his behalf. Maybe it's because it's someone who doesn't mind sacrificing his image to protect his friend and Hwang Minhyun.

Minhyun decides to take the little baby step to confrontation. He grabs Victoria's shoulder and she turns on her heels, harsh eyes boring into his. He stares back evenly and she falters, stuttering an explanation for her behaviour. 

"Please leave and stop bothering them."

He moves aside and she stumbles down a step, eyes wide. Minhyun then tries to approach the guy who is an opposite of Minhyun in every way and the knowledge thrums in his blood, because he wants to see how this guy is and how is he leading a full life despite making someone so inadvertently furious with him.

A prominent nose and high cheekbones. Messy hair and bright eyes. 

Most importantly, he glows. From the very pores of his being.

Minhyun wants to hide from the brightness of the boy. His lack of a light makes him insecure. His Murakami novels always talk of having half a shadow and the constant search for half of his essence. The boy seems to have a healthy shadow, the weight of his existence more solid and grounded than Minhyun. Underwater is where Minhyun resides, not on land. He exchanges words, meaningless, thrown to the air, the neutral territory between land and water and sees himself out. That is not a world he belongs in and Minhyun meets the boy's eyes briefly before leaving.

His composure returns by the time he's outside of the gym. He won't run into the boy soon, or even again. Land and water meet and separate at some point. 

 

He should know by Murphy's law that everything that can go wrong will go wrong. It's regretful that he has to find out this way.

Jonghyun had called earlier, asking him to walk back together since Minhyun's psychology lecture finished early and Jonghyun is staying back to ask a few questions. The Commerce block is only home to a select few that persist with this line of tedious career choice and Minhyun's traversing through the halls become a normal occurrence. He's really keen on passing and doing well, so his professors at some point let him walk into the staff room unhindered because he's just a zealous overachiever. 

Minhyun is walking to Jonghyun's lecture hall when he passes a clear window, seeing into a class of second years scribbling notes and a few determined souls typing rapidly on keys that sound like open fire from outside the walls. Minhyun nods and smiles emphatically as two boys lift up their heads, meet his eyes with gazes of utter grief and devastation. He mouths 'good luck' to their crumpled expressions and puts a foot forward, not before his eyes catches on a sight of a familiar side profile.

It's unfair how the boy glows again, clear skies behind his head trying to dim his glow but failing. He's bathed in the light clouds of the heavens and Minhyun turns his head, partly blinded and partly afraid to look at someone while they don't know he is looking. It carries a little stalkerish vibe to it. A boy sees him looking into the classroom, squeals and Minhyun instead of coming up with a reasonable excuse, flees.

He comes close to nearly crashing into the door, but gains his composure back after a few deep breaths. A crowd of spectators gather behind him, whispering routinely. Jonghyun emerges from the classroom, eyes smiling brightly at Minhyun. He waves at his friend and notices Minhyun moving his left shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Jonghyun taps the twitching shoulder and Minhyun slows down, breathing shallowly.

"Just, nothing. A bit jittery. I had a bit too much coffee this morning," he replies, now tapping his foot. Jonghyun follows his leg down to his shoe and up at his face.

"Hyun-ah, you don't drink coffee. It gives your meds side effects," he tells his friend gently.

Minhyun freezes.

"Uh," he says intelligently. 

"What's wrong?" Jonghyun moves in closer, looking at his eyes, searching. Minhyun backs away.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Minhyun I've been friends with you for three years, trust me when I say something's wrong. Do you want to talk here or go somewhere else?"

Minhyun chooses to go.

 

"How are you feeling? Are you feeling faint? Numb? Discombobulated?" Minki flutters around him, hands and nails flying very close to his face and Minhyun tries to blink away the torchlight Dongho shines in his eyeballs.

"I'm fine, Minki-yah, just stop with the light," he struggles in vain. A door opens and closes and Taewoong's voice rings out.

"Has anyone seen my wallet?"

"On the kitchen table," Minhyun calls out. "Help me."

Taewoong only clicks his tongue and comes near, eyes moving from Minki to Dongho to Minhyun. He shrugs helplessly.

"I'm sorry Minhyunnie. There's nothing I can do," he offers empty hands and gives him a look that says 'look at me I'm useless next to Minki the human hurricane'. Minhyun wants to cry.

"Tell me what's wrong with you!" Minki shrieks behind Jonghyun. Taewoong hums, eyebrows pinched together. A flicker of worry flashes across his eyes before his expression shifts back to neutrality.

"Are you okay though?" He asks.

Minhyun wants to say yes, but his shoulder twitches. Taewoong with his keen eyes zeroes in on this and hauls Minhyun from the chair, gripping his arm tightly.

"Talk to Jonghyun. Do not come out until you get it off your chest," he pushes Minhyun into Jonghyun's room who hides from the interrogation outside. Minki makes a move to go inside. 

"You stay," Taewoong holds the back of his shirt. Dongho laughs at Minki's shocked expression and cries of 'just because you're taller and hyung doesn't give you the right to abuse me like this I'm delicate!'

 

Minhyun tells Jonghyun everything.

There's a reason why Taewoong forces him onto Jonghyun. Taewoong has a total facial expression of 5 (he really loves that number, 5, but it stands to dignify him) and is a terrible listener. He listens well but when he has to give advice it's mostly just 'get over yourself' and Minhyun is too delicate and weak to take that advice to heart.

Jonghyun doesn't close his mouth when he's done. It's stretched out wider now, enough to fit an apple in.

Minhyun feels offended that this is how his friend chooses to respond to his dilemma. He needs more than surprise. He needs a solution.

"So you find this guy interesting?" Jonghyun concludes, sounding like he's not sure if he got the gist of things.

"I guess." Because he doesn't really know what the feeling he has when he sees the boy with the messy hair and heavy eyes, but he knows it's curiosity. He wants to know more, see more, touch more. "Maybe some other things but, yeah, interest. Curiosity even," he admits.

"I can hear you preparing to shut this down Hwang Minhyun. Don't you dare," Jonghyun threatens him and shifts closer, glasses glinting. "What's so scary about it?"

"I don't know. He's just scary, generally." He shrugs, helpless.

"Have you seen yourself?" Jonghyun pokes him. "Honestly I don't know who's scarier, you or your fan girls. That kid can't be that scary."

"But Jongie, he literally glows."

"Do I even know who this is?"

"I saw him once at the university's basketball game. He got into a huge fight with Victoria-ssi. The coach yelled at him for disturbing the game."

Jonghyun's brows scrunch close together, teeth nibbling on his bottom lip.

"The people who had a fight with her could only be Ong Seungwoo and Kim Jaehwan."

"Kim Jaehwan's his name?"

"Jagiya, Minhyunnie, my precious clueless dolphin," Jonghyun tells him like he's dumb. Minhyun feels dumb. There's something that everybody knows but he doesn't. "You need to decide to yourself if you want to pursue this or backtrack from it. Only from then I can tell you the news."

 

Minki tries to bribe them both with food and money but they refuse to disclose the news. Taewoong stares at him the whole time while Dongho, bless his soul, squeezes him in the shoulder and flashes him a brief kind smile. For Minhyun, he decides that it's not something certain and he'll be fine without seeing this boy around, so he's backtracking from it.

 

Or so he thought.

He's running across the Commerce block again, his results for the last test in Jonghyun's hands for some reason (he knows it's because besides Taewoong, the teachers at this school trust Jonghyun with anything for Minhyun because his DNA coding makes the word 'reliable'; Taewoong on the other hand is known for his scarily efficient prioritisation - give him something and he'll get it done straight away, scarily fast, and so things rarely go missing in his hands because he never hold onto them for long). He passes the second years' lecture hall, intending to run and not look, but his head turns as his body rushes forward, catching a sight of messy brown hair and apple cheekbones.

There goes not pursuing this, whatever _this_ is, then.

He's jittery, legs and shoulders twitching. Somebody drops a notebook behind him and he whips around, seeing boys and girls loitering behind him, whispering loudly. Minhyun swallows a groan back into his stomach, stumbling too much on his feet to do anything properly except get his damn scores and talk to Jonghyun.

"What's up?" Jonghyun asks and Minhyun forgoes his entire education.

"I saw him today," Minhyun rushes his words, the slightest Busan satoori tripping on his tongue, "you know, interesting guy, who I met once but can't forget."

Jonghyun grins at him.

"I'm proud of you, bub. Good news, you won't be in the dark any longer, bad news, you're going to freak out when I lay it out on you," Jonghyun lies a hand on his shoulder like it's a burden he doesn't wish on Minhyun. Behind the mirthful twinkle in his friend's eyes, Minhyun sees the hidden question. He can back out now and they would never bring it up, or he can choose to hear Jonghyun's assessment on his interest in Kim Jaehwan.

He nods.

"Hate to scare you, but you have a crush. Maybe not yet but it's taking the form of a crush."

Minhyun wants to scream or stab somebody, gasping out a soundless cry. _What._

"What."

"Minhyunnie that doesn't even sound like a question."

"How did you even know?"

"Give me until after Sewoon's music performance, then I'll tell you."

 

Of course they forgot all about the gossip mill of this university. By the time they reach their dorm, Minki is running about crying on how the great Hwang Minhyun had 'fallen victim to the power of love and no longer available for fan girls to stalk'. Dongho is baking sympathy cookies and brownies, with Seonho munching on cookie dough.

"Have you washed your hands?" Minhyun immediately scolds his dongsaeng. Seonho swallows and nods, leaning into Minhyun's hair ruffling.

"How did you even get the news that fast, oh my god," Jonghyun laughs and Minki waves him aside, not dignifying a response. "We think it's a crush. It's not fully fledged yet."

"Don't tell me who it is I want to guess!"

"Same," Seonho tells him. Minhyun rolls his eyes and rubs his knuckles on his friend's head roughly, cackling as Seonho squeals and hides behind kind Dongho who doesn't even react. Bless Dongho. 

"No one is guessing anything. Leave him alone he's too emotionally constipated for things such as love," Jonghyun teases him and he throws a tea towel at his head. The other boy splutters with the cloth over his hair, grappling with it while Minki still runs around screaming.

"Hyungie," Seonho tugs his elbow.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're pursuing something you really want. Just make sure you don't let it get away."

 

Sewoon tunes his guitar while meeting all of their eyes as they pour into his room, smiling pleasantly. 

"You are going to win, right? You are going to win, right?" Minki shakes his shoulders and Jonghyun catches the falling guitar quickly before any more mishaps can occur. Minhyun pulls Minki away, still pointing aggressively at Sewoon and declaring victory over all the other children.

"Hyung I can assure you some of them are older than yourself," Sewoon puts away his guitar and starts to change, Minki distracted from getting his 'star protege' ready for the stage. "Besides, there's always Kim Jaehwan. I think his song this year is good."

"I heard him a couple of times in the students' club, he's really good," Dongho speaks at last, after navigating over the pile of clothes on the floor. "He was drunk too, and he sang like five Adele songs."

"If Adele ever comes to Seoul in the near future, he's definitely getting VIP seats and five copies of her album," Sewoon snorts and coughs as the powder enters through his nose. 

"He's performing tonight too?" Minhyun finds his voice and watches half-fascinated, half-impressed as his hands pick up stray clothes and fold them.

"Star performer. Most expected act. Voice of a damn angel. It's a good one this year," Sewoon replies airily. Minki gives him a sidelong look, winking as Minhyun's movements stutter and rewind like a bad VCR tape. Jonghyun taps his shoulder blades briefly before he pushes by to get changed in Sewoon's bathroom.

"I heard Eunki is throwing a small party afterwards for Jaehwan. Let's go?" Jonghyun's voice drifts from the bathroom.

"Jongie, 'party' is not or ever in your dictionary," Minki snorts while curling Sewoon's hair who gives a thumbs up to the toilet door. Jonghyun protests from inside, saying he 'parties plenty' and he's not an old man.

"Let's go? I don't have anything to do?" Minhyun timidly offers and splays out his hands guilelessly. Minki whoops and Sewoon begins discussing how he wants to look in the night. Jonghyun pokes a head out, gives him a wink and retreats back inside.

It's okay, Minhyun tells himself, he'll be in the back and he can look for Jaehwan in the crowd of people and Jaehwan won't notice. He'll be in the dark anyway. Just like the dark waters at bay encompassing land, he won't be noticed by the calm land drifting.

 

Sewoon already got Minki, Jonghyun and him front row seats and Minhyun is too stunned to say anything else.

"You'll be in the dark and you won't see him anyways," Jonghyun tries to reason through his giggling, laughing at his luck. "Come on, cheer up."

Minki starts to sing TWICE's Cheer Up behind them, throwing his arms out everywhere and narrowly missing a couple of lights. Jonghyun rushes to fix the wobbling devices, leaving MInhyun to stare up at the stage in blank horror, feeling numb.

Whoever is watching over Minhyun's life is having fun with torturing him, because he can definitely confirm for himself that:

 - > He has a massive gay crush for Kim Jaehwan

Even Minki can confirm it, because he's squealing at Minhyun's frozen face. It's not like he can help it. All the composure he _thought_ he has disappear when Kim Jaehwan walks out from backstage looking like **that** and Minhyun is feeling all these feelings that he doesn't know where to put them. Instead of the panic approach, his body shuts down, overwhelmed with the overload of information that is Kim Jaehwan with a guitar and his voice when he's not yelling at anyone.

As soon as he breathes the first sound, Minhyun knows he's screwed. For two entire reasons.

1\. Jaehwan's singing is not spectacular in that it's not a unique tone of voice, but rather an earnest and raw sound. It's simple but it sounds like the sound of a childhood's lullaby and the waves crashing routinely on the beach side. The lyrics play their parts in narrating the story, but it's Jaehwan's voice that injects emotions into words. Tears run down Minhyun's cheeks without him controlling 

2\. Jaehwan sings about forgetting, about heartbreak and Minhyun knows he has next to little chance in ever approaching Jaehwan if the person he wants to forget inspires an entire song, with these words and this voice. 

Minnyun looks up and meets Jaehwan's eyes. He knows the other boy can't see him in the dark, maybe just his eyes will be visible and he clings to that vestige of darkness to cloak his naked attempt at trying to reach out to Jaehwan. Jaehwan's eyes glow golden and white and all shades of brown and Minhyun keeps looking, reaching and reaching until the flicker of a light startles him and Jaehwan's eyes are closed.

Minhyun swims, so his kicking is good. He kicks himself up and scrambles over Minki and Jonghyun's laps, who react a beat too late as Minhyun is out the door before the lights can all be on. He can hear Minki's claps and Jonghyun's laughs behind his back and he refuses to go back in there until Jaehwan is off the stage.

Minki tries to talk to him, albeit laughing a little too much for his liking.

"He's done, I swear on my entire spring collection he's done," he pulls on Minhyun's arm while he stubbornly digs his heels on the ground like a little five-year-old. "Come on, Minnie, he's off the stage. I saw it with my own eyes."

"Why did you even run?" Jonghyun snorts unhelpfully. Minhyun is this close to punching him.

"Because he's shy! Our little Minhyunnie is finally opening up to the big wide world of love!" Minki interrupts Minhyun's dignified response and he finds that he can't really contest that because shit his friend is right.

"Guys I don't think I can come to the party afterwards, tell Sewoonnie I'm sorry," he shakes Minki's arm off who starts to whine and clings onto his upper torso even more. "I cannot be there. Kim Jaehwan is going to see me and be creeped out that the guy who was staring at him in the dark stalked him to his friend's party."

"It was your idea to come though," Jonghyun points out.

"Shut up Kim, no one asked you."

"This tsundere behaviour will get you nowhere in life, jagiya. Just come with us and avoid the guy if you have to. You did it once tonight I'm sure you can do it again," Minki shakes him and pulls out the ultimate puppy eyes. Minhyun flinches because he knows Minki knows he's weak when people ask him things. Jonghyun doesn't offer any escape like the bad friend that he is. He's debating on whether he can endure Minki's ceaseless nagging tomorrow or two hours of Kim Jaehwan being in the same building.

It can't be that bad.

 

"Why, why is there a garland of garlic on the doorknob?" He points and the tall child who opened the door, Guan Lin, blinks then shrugs.

"Zhengting-ssi thought it's funny to tell Eunki-hyung that there are vampires running around the campus after 10 so he's hanging garlic everywhere in the house. Watch out for that stray banana."

Minki hops over it like it's no big deal. Jonghyun sidesteps.

Sewoon already disappeared into the crowd. Before Minhyun can even ask who is driving back, the Jongki duo disappears too, leaving him with an unfamiliar child in a strange house.

"How did you find the performance?" Guan Lin asks, tone light. But Minhyun hears the silent threat in his voice.

"I enjoyed it very much. You're a friend of Eunki's?"

"My hyungs are like best buddies with him. It's so weird because one day he just became friends with Jaehwan-hyung and no one know how," Guan Lin navigates to the kitchen where there are three people singing Set Fire to the Rain. He knows that because Sewoon loves that song and he keeps singing the chorus on loop for three days straight in his apartment three months ago. Minhyun nods at the comment but flinches when he hears the word Jaehwan-hyung.

He looks at Guan Lin. The boy is staring straight at him.

"Listen, I know you find him fascinating and everything," the boy waves a hand, face blank, "but your fan clubs are going to bother him if any news of who you're interested in get out. Whatever you do, I don't care, but the minute my hyung cries I'm coming for you."

"I know that. I came to apologise to Daehwi-ssi after the whole ruckus. I'm sorry they put you through that," he bows. Guan Lin smacks the top of his head.

"Don't be stupid. That's not your fault. Don't apologise for everything that's going wrong in this world. You're not responsible for other people's actions," he's stunned. Being scolded by a first year who towers at least 4 cm above him is a new experience as Seonho doesn't come near him enough to hit him because Minhyun nags enough for the both of them to resort to any form of violent discipline.

"But I feel bad because I'm indirectly the reason," he whines. Guan Lin rolls his eyes, but there's a bit of gum poking out from under his close lips. The tension from before vanishes. Minhyun still maintains distance from Guan Lin.

"Seriously Minhyun-ssi, you're pissing me off. I hate nice guys," the boy smiles at him though it briefly disappears. "But let me tell you who I hate more," Minhyun blinks at Guan Lin's nose that has moved closer to him, "guys who make my hyung cries. I wasn't joking about coming for you. I will if Jaehwan hyung so much feels insecure."

"I'm not even going to do anything?"

"That's for you to decide. Whether you're in his life or not, if he cries at the mention of you, then don't expect to be healthy soon." Guan Lin doesn't need to scream or glare, because that single look conveys a lot of messages. He knows the boy is warning him against hurting Jaehwan, but why would anyone cry-

_Oh._

Oh _right._

This is not a good place to find out the guy you're (sort of, maybe) low-key stalking on has a crush on you. Minhyun may be dumb, but he's not that dumb. He knows that Daehwi is a part of Jaehwan's big group of friends which encompasses from quiet Bae Jinyoung to the rambunctious Ong Seungwoo, Desirable Bachelor Number 2. If Daehwi volunteered to be interested in Minhyun for a friend of his and Jaehwan who'd cry at Minhyun's actions, it's not that hard to put two and two together.

Dear God he doesn't even know the guy exist until two months ago. He feels like an asshole.

"HYUNG HYUNG HYUNG PUT YOUR FOOT BACK ON THE TABLE WAIT _WAIT-"_ He turns at the screaming, hearing Guan Lin and another boy screaming at the three people on the table, one dangerously close to plummeting to the ground with a guitar. Minhyun pushes through people and dives across the falling body just enough to catch the person, guitar hitting him painfully on the head and shoulder, narrowly missing an eye as the strings scrape against his face.

"Is he okay?" A boy unstraps the guitar, also narrowly missing his ear and fumbling around the inebriated person, mumbling incoherently. "Jaehwan-hyung? Talk to me."

Minhyun snaps his head down and just like a nightmare, Kim Jaehwan grins at him dazedly in his arms.

"I'm fine," Jaehwan slurs, arms hitting Minhyun on the chest, "solid," he giggles.

Minhyun wishes he could laugh at the situation. Guan Lin is gone off somewhere and the boy is busy checking Jaehwan's breathing and wrists for any damage, eyebrows pinched together.

"He seems okay, but he's really drunk. Are you okay with looking after him for like five minutes? I need to get sober help," Minhyun nods numbly as the boy whispers a soft 'thank you' and disappears into the crowd. 

"Can you sit up?" He asks and Jaehwan sluggishly hits him on the chest again, hand curled at the wrist. Minhyun pushes with his shoulder and entire body, pulling Jaehwan to an upright position as the drunk boy mumbles gibberish right next to his ear.

"You're pretty," he hears Jaehwan giggles. His ears flare up, hot red with embarrassment and something like pride at being praised, although drunkenly on the floor of someone's house he doesn't know, by his crush. He shifts so that Jaehwan faces him, in case there's vomiting and the other boy giggles even more, cheeks pushing his eyes into a smile.

"Thanks, Jaehwan-ssi," Minhyun murmurs, fingers against the boy's neck to check for a cold sweat. "How are you feeling?"

"You're so pretty, like Minhyun-ssi. You know he's so pretty when he plays piano, right?"

No cold sweat, so he's probably just a lightweight. 

"Thank you Jaehwan-ssi. You can call me hyung, it's fine," Minhyun sits still as Jaehwan's hands poke him in the shoulder, eyes wide then shut. His left shoulder twitches nervously and Jaehwan pokes the twitching nerve, fascinated.

 _"Hyungie~,"_ the boy whines. Minhyun prays for strength.

"Yes, Jaehwan-ssi?"

"I'm Jaehwannie. Don't be so formal. Only Minhyun-ssi is formal, because he's so nice." Dear Lord how can anyone say no to that pout.

"Uh sure."

So much intelligence. Third year at university and 'uh sure' is the peak of his intellect.

"But I feel like he carries too much rubbish. Like he always walks like this," Jaehwan pushes his shoulders up, staring with half a lid closing over his eyes, "but he looks like this," he reaches over to Minhyun's mouth and pulls the corners down.

He is going to die and it's going to be a painful death.

"But I am Hwang Minhyun, Jaehwannie," he struggles through Jaehwan poking at his nose and ouch that's an eye. He scrunches his eyes shut in pain, blinking away the bright spots behind closed lids. Something touches his nose and Minhyun opens his eyes in alarm and chokes on his spit.

Kim Jaehwan just kissed him on the nose. He's hovering over Minhyun, lips pursed in contemplation.

"I meant to kiss you," he confirms, just in case Minhyun misunderstands. Forget his ears his entire face is blushing. "On the lips."

"Uh what?"

"Jaehwannie, oh dear me, what are you doing," someone prises Jaehwan away from Minhyun and there's a whine from both of them. Yoon Jisung bows to him repetitively and Minhyun waves it aside, breathing hard to compensate for how much his heart is running overtime inside his ribs. Someone leans over him and he jumps back, hands coming up defend himself.

"Hello Minhyun-ah," Choi Taewoong gives him a look. "Going home or staying? I can drive you."

"I'm going," he sits up straight away. Jisung gives them both a once-over, heaving Jaehwan onto his back and stumbling back. Taewoong catches the falling boy, slings him over his shoulder instead and asks where to put the drunkard.

"Sit here. I'll be back," his hyung tells him. The _you better tell me everything_ is clear in his voice.

 

Jonghyun finds him twenty minutes later, just staring at the air blankly, not even blinking.

"Hey, you good?"

"Kim Jaehwan tried to kiss me when he's drunk," he thinks the tears of horror and joy already seeped into his soul and he's now 70% pain and 30% tears. "Kill me now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate Minhyun he's such an awkward bean and he's dumb. 
> 
> Also lecture halls don't have see-through windows please just imagine that they do like in the movies I'm so sorry I haven't finished high school yet I don't know things.
> 
> The longest chapter I ever wrote and I think I screwed up at least forty times in one paragraph. Please mock me in the comments.


	9. Of unnecessary running and blossoming romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can we do this again?" Daniel asks him at his door, hands all tangled with his fingers. There's an obvious attempt at trying to lean in close but Ong doesn't kiss on the first date, so he backs off. Daniel pouts cutely, scrunching his nose under the shitty lamp light back on sixth street near his apartment. He squishes the Jaehwan in him that wants to burst into Photograph and Ed Sheeran serenades this beautiful boy. Seungwoo leans to whisper into his ear.
> 
> "I don't kiss by the first date, but I do accept confessions. Any last words?"
> 
> Daniel pulls away to look into his eyes.
> 
> "To be honest I'm stuck between 'Well my dear, I don't give a damn' and 'If I wait until I'm ready I'll be waiting for the rest of my life."
> 
> Seungwoo snorts so loud it breaks away all the awkward ice treading they've both been doing.
> 
> "I cannot believe you just quoted Margaret Mitchell and Lemony Snickett at me, Kang Daniel. I thought better of you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An Ongniel chapter. I'm sorry I didn't continue on the Minhwan drama but it will be coming up soon. But I kinda really want to throw a background chapter into all the drama so here we are.
> 
> I'M SORRY THIS WAS LIKE A WEEK LATE I THINK I MIGHT HAVE TO STICK WITH WEEKLY UPDATES BECAUSE I KEEP TRYING TO PROOFREAD THINGS PLEASE BE GENTLE WITH ME I NEED TO PASS SCHOOL

It's great weather outside. It's that weird limbo phase between spring and winter that isn't too hot or cold. There's a bit of sunlight and some cold shade if the sun decides to fuck with him. Seungwoo breathes in the smell of crushed leaves, feeling invigorated by nature.

He swings open the door to his studio and screams a greeting to the kids inside who clap and cheer like a god had just graced their presence. But hey, who says Ong Seungwoo can't be a god? No one, that's right. He gives a dutiful flourishing bow and lifts his head.

He pauses as soon as he steps a foot inside, then promptly chokes on his tongue. It wasn't a good look.

Seungwoo has all the grace in the world and the charms enough to be a human aphrodisiac. Along with Hwang Minhyun, he is crowned Desirable Bachelor Number Two, with impeccable manners and looks gifted by the gods. 

"Maybe if your ego was a tiny little woodlouse smaller it would go well with your face," Jaehwan told him this back in ye olden days of 15-year-old Seungwoo, still good-looking but very much less confident.

"Fuck you Jaehwan, only the bitter smaller people say that," he curses under his breath.

But back to his problem. _The_ Problem. The Hot Issue of his 4Minute stanning life.

 _What_ is this? _Who_ is this? What is he _doing? Why_ is he here?

The new guy with the blonde hair and frankly the  _widest broadest_ shoulders Seungwoo can see on any boy since he graced this campus with his presence. The. Fuck. Who is this and how has he not seen this piece of man-cake before? How is he even a contender for the list of Hot Men on Campus when this _Adonis_ exists?

Eunki follows soon after him, strutting his way inside. Seungwoo knows because he can hear the too-loud squeaky soles irritating his ear. Eunki's ankles bend in some unconventional way but he makes it work, hips following the unnatural bend of his legs. Poking his head to the left of Seungwoo, he can hear a subtle whistle as Eunki watches the hot guy next to the mirror stretching out a leg.

Oh.

His thighs are ripped as fuck too.

He's okay. Just not breathing. Who needs air anyways.

"Pst, Eunki-yah," Seungwoo jerks his head to one side. Eunki pulls himself up fully, stretching his arms over his head, popping some joints.

"Kang Daniel," Eunki answers his unasked question and Seungwoo must've looked like he saw Daehwi nearly fell off the balcony two years ago again. "That's his name."

"Yeah well no one has an English name in here, do they, brat?"

"Don't be prickly, hyung. He went on a transfer program to Canada and he just got back. He was here for a few months first year."

"And he dances? Why didn't anyone warn me?"

Eunki side eyes him.

"I dunno, I just figured hot men are immune to other hot men so I didn't say anything."

He gives the boy an offending look. 

"I didn't account your artistic sensitivity to beauty or whatever into it, don't sue me hyung. It's fine, it's not like you'll talk to him straight off the bat and you two become best buds by tomorrow and you have to pine after him for six months or something," Eunki waves a dismissive hand and jumps straight into a split. Ong cringes in pain. The poor guy's thighs.

 

"Fuck Eunki and his stupid predictions," he tells himself roughly about three hours later.

Why?

Because while Seungwoo is sensitive for beauty because he has an artist's integrity _(shut the fuck up Jaehwan)_ to love and appreciate it, he is also kinda shy to strangers. So he didn't approach Daniel first. Which is fine by him, really. He just has a hot face to cover up an awkward and melodramatic personality, which technically disqualifies him from the Hot Men ladder and he's fine with that. Ong Seungwoo is a simple man who wants a hassle-free life from fan girls and injuries. Hot people and things of beauty can be appreciated from afar with his policy of 'look but not touch' which people then apply to him. Nonsense. Just don't muck up the hair and Ong will be fine with casual touches. He's an affectionate guy. He cuddles friends and let them to the same to him. His hyungs and dongsaengs love his hugs. He offers an elbow to old ladies and a pinkie to little children. Ong Seungwoo is hot but not untouchable. He ain't gonna burn anyone. Unlike Kang Daniel. That level of hotness is like asking for things to be fried in a 2 km radius.

Kang Daniel has some unfinished business with Seungwoo from his previous life or some other grudge, because he not only looks at Seungwoo once when Hyeongseob bounces his cute little way in to throw himself onto Seungwoo's back, but smiles at him like they've been best mates for years when Seungwoo makes the rookie mistake of looking up again.

This level of rudeness is unacceptable and frankly Seungwoo cannot stand for it. He has bunny teeth and there's this stupid contrast between his face and body. Like. Neck up, bunny boy, sunny child, big doggo. Shoulder down, take me daddy, _thicc,_ choke me with your thighs, all the nasty things children nowadays are commenting on hot people's Instagram. 

That had gone in a weird direction, but who can blame him? A sweaty Daniel is a health hazard. He can see about three people about to faint. It's understandable where they're coming from.

"Why me," he asks out loud. Hyeongseob makes this little sound puppies make when they tilt their heads and nudge you with their noses. He lets go of Hyeongseob and ruffles the kid's hair, squishing his cheeks together like the cute little duckling that he is.

"Lemme go, hyungie," the boy complains, flailing. Seungwoo graces him with a squeal and a giggle, hugging him to his chest and subtly turning his back against Daniel's stretching. 

 _"Nooo~"_ he smooshes the boy's face even more.

_"Hyungie~"_

"Stop bullying the kid and help me clear all of this rubbish!" Eunki nags him from somewhere and Seungwoo lets Hyeongseob go, not before smothering the boy in another hug. He does small jetés across the room, keeping his eyes determinedly not on Daniel and swiping jackets and earphones into his hands, dumping them against the wall. The kids have gathered in a wonky semicircle around the mirrors, whispering excitedly.

Eunki gives him a wink. Normally that means 'run' but Seungwoo has a commitment. He is legally but also morally obligated to attend club activities because he chose this life and it counts towards his extracurricular marks. His friend tosses his hair, akin to a Pantene shampoo ad, cups his palms in front of his mouth and announces Seungwoo's death sentence.

"Freestyle time!"

Before Seungwoo can even tell the children to calm down and stop screaming, Eunki gestures to Daniel, "We have a volunteer!"

He sends a loud 'fuck you' to Eunki via eye telephathy. Eunki winks back just as loudly.

Daniel then drops to a handstand without any warnings for the poor souls in the room who are hanging onto threads of sanity by not making any eye contact to anything Daniel does. But he goes and does a handstand. Without tucking his shirt in. Like a decent human being. Because there are abs and Seungwoo kinda wishes he took that offer to shoot Hyeongseob's thing so that they wouldn't be here with Mr Golden Syrup Rock Hard Abs tormenting them. Or him. Hyeongseob looks like he's fine, cheering and whooping, but that's probably because he has Woojin, who may or may not have abs that Seungwoo doesn't know of, seeing as how the kid refuses to come near him because he threw Woojin over his shoulder one time.

Daniel does a headspin and Seungwoo never wants to die more. Crucify himself, does a seppuku episode, whatever. Anything sounds good at the moment. He briefly debates the probability of dying by biting on his tongue. People have done it before. It's more successful than not. He can get away with fainting and suffer through nagging about health concerns. Jisung has a law exam and Sungwoon has a music recording session out in Gangnam, so two potential aunts won't be able to reach his lame fainting ass on time. Jaehwan is busy with Jihoon's something or another and helping Guan Lin around. Seungwoo fainting would not be a priority.

He flicks his eyes towards the mirrors. Damn Daniel's ass in those jeans looks amazing.

 _Stop it Seungwoo don't make this harder for yourself,_ he berates, _think of how long you'll mope. Think of how loud Jaehwan will play Adele's track over your moping because he thinks it's a competition to see who's more emo with the world until one of you stop. Don't do this to yourself. Save your ears while you can. And your lame mopey heart._

Daniel hops back up, dirty blonde hair sit in sweaty strands across his forehead, bunny teeth peeking out from his mouth. He widens his eyes at his direction, blinking, then walks his cute perky self over to Seungwoo who purposely hides behind the new first years in the pretense of looking out for the kids but in reality it's just closer to the door so he can run faster if the need arises. Which clearly is arising now because _the Hot Guy is coming over and what are words again?_

"You alright?" Daniel asks.

Seungwoo can only stare. Why. Why does God do this to him. He's a good chap. He never does anyone dirty except for Minhyun's Fan Clubs because no one harasses his baby Daehwi. He calls his mother twice a day. Why does fate or the divine power feel it fit to have this guy with this face talk to him? And his voice too, it's beautiful. This is what cinnamon vanilla latte sounds like and Seungwoo is 100% Fine With That.

"Hello?" Daniel leans in closer and Seungwoo finally realises, a bit too late, that he can breathe and he should probably breathe. He chokes out a breath and mistakenly sucks in oxygen, way too much and almost coughs out loud. Musk and cologne and sweaty gym clothes shouldn't smell good on a college boy, but it does and it's moving up Ong's Aju Nice Fragrance Shelf.

"I'm fine, sorry," he shakes himself conscious, "welcome to the studio? You are relatively new, yes?"

Way to go non-thirsting, rational acting major Seungwoo. He wants to pat himself on the back but that would be weird. Hyeongseob turns to him behind Daniel's back and gives him two enthusiastic thumbs up, like he supports whatever is going on here. He makes sure to shoo the kid subtly without Daniel not breaking eye contact with him, dark eyes framed by heavy lids tilting curiously into his own like a big dog inspecting a toy.

"Sorry, yes I am. I'm Daniel, Kang Daniel," there's a hand and he stares. 

Ong Seungwoo you are an acting major. You can bullshit a handshake and a friendly conversation. 

"I'm Seungwoo, Ong Seungwoo."

Daniel's face twists in trying to recreate his name. Seungwoo breathes in, too used to people fumbling through his name to get it right in one go. Here we go again...

"Nice to meet you, Ong Seungwoo-ssi," the blonde beams at him, eyes folding into if possible, cuter eye smiles than Jisung hyung's and Seungwoo's artistic integrity is firing off left and right for this rare opportunity to be able to witness such a miracle, a work of art, a thing of beauty, a piece worthy of Michelangelo himself. 

"First I've heard anyone got it right in one go. Well done. I'm more than impressed," he grins back at Daniel, temporarily forgetting to be embarrassed because wow, someone who has the rare talent of being able to say his name right. This man deserves a medal.

"Hyung, hyungie, show us your moves!" Hyeongseob barrels into his arm and gracelessly, but cutely, rescuing him. Seungwoo mouths an obvious 'thank you' to his dongsaeng who winks back broadly.

He's in front of about twenty children and he just remembers he hasn't stretched nor have any recollection of what moving is.

Eunki mimes 'don't embarrass me now' while Hyeongseob does star jacks over people's heads. 

He twists his neck and tries not to make eye contact with Daniel. Here goes nothing. 

 

"ONG-SSI!" About ten voices break out in murderous screamy frequencies. The claps grate on the Jaehwan's infested side of his brain as out of rhythm and in no time, but unlike his prick of a bestfriend, claps are claps and generally welcomed. 

"Seungwoo-yah!" Eunki starts a celebratory body roll down the back.

"Hyungie! Hyungie! Hyungie" 

Whatever he's doing, he must be doing it right. But it's probably just muscle memory and the sheer amount of practice dedicated to popping. He peeks an eye out and sees Daniel with full bunny teeth and pretty eye smiles, all facing him and Seungwoo mentally gives himself a pat on the shoulder.

 _That's right bitch I got a Hot AF Man Cake praising me be jealous hoe,_ he tells the Jaehwan demon on his shoulder.

 _He's coming over you dumb ass shit,_ the demon chews back almost sadistically.

"You dance so well!" Daniel tells him. "It was so cool."

"Aww," he coos before he can stop himself, "thanks kid." At Daniel's stunned face, he backpedals, "You're younger, right? I couldn't tell because you're taller."

"I'm born in '96," Daniel confirms.

"Call me hyungnim, rat," he tosses a head up and Daniel giggles cutely, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Okay hyungnim."

 

It's not that Eunki is 100% correct, but he came damn close. Daniel and Seungwoo are Friendly Acquaintances by the end of the session although no numbers were exchanged and they went on their separate merry ways. They're not that level of close where they keep up the pretense of knowing each other outside of the dance studio. They acknowledge that they're strangers and not much else outside of dance so it makes sense when they nod at each other in passing but never really converse. What is there to talk about? Seungwoo is too scared of embarrassing himself so he generally hides and does the Stupid Thing of Not Telling Anyone, except maybe over the phone to Jaehwan's mum on a random Saturday afternoon and to Taehyun at 4 in the morning when after he repeatedly screamed in his head on his lack of social abilities and had to tell someone that isn't Jae or Jisung.

(Unbeknownst to him, Jaehwan's mum, his own mother, Taehyun and Jisung have this conference thing where they exchange information about his life over Skype calls or monthly picnics. By the time the four months mark hit, there are enough warning signs for them to contemplate forceful intervention).

They're best buds inside the studio and it's hitting six months. Seungwoo still mopes about how that's a Missed Opportunity Given on A Platinum Platter and he Should Have Done Something About It. But he didn't and he's ashamed of even being confident. Why why _why._

 

The thing about Jaehwan's supposedly matchmaking prowess is that it is treated as a joke but founded on genuine grounds. Seungwoo's best mate since childhood and an actual brother than a friend Kim Jaehwan is surprisingly a good listener who empathises with people and gives good advice. Sungwoon and Seungwoo compiled a list of Successful Couples' Therapy to make a point with Jaehwan when he starts to protest that he doesn't have the Cupid's Touch, which can be found below.

Exhibit A: Momo and Mina. Jaehwan weirdly knows Mina From Some Place, but that's Jaehwan with 95% of the people he knows. In his overwhelming love and support for Lee Daehwi, A Literal Angel Child, Jaehwan asked Mina to come watch the cheerleading practice. Because it's Korea and there are stupid self-entitled assholes who feel that their opinions are validated on the premise that they speak words, a boy in a 99% girls' cheerleading team is looked down upon. But does that deter Jaehwan? Never. He assembled all of the merry band of holy brothers in the gym, got about twenty more music kids and various other people that he knows of and threatened bodily harm to any assholes who dared to peep a stupid comment in his general vicinity. Mina was a nice and sweet girl with a pretty smile and she cheered for the acrobatic flips the squad did, with many claps from their supportive audience. But the thing was, she kept glancing specifically at this one person, Momo Hirai, no surprises there, as the blonde can do insane tricks, is tall, has abs and smiles like she's in a Colgate ad 24/7. Mina contracted the symptoms of I Realised I Got a Crush Shit I'm Going Through a Mental Meltdown with many squeaks when Momo made eye contact in her direction and Jaehwan noticed, bless his nosy self. Seungwoo and Sungwoon spotted Jae pulling Mina aside and whispering intently to her, then at the end of the practice, rammed at Momo who caught her just in time and quite not loudly, but clearly, asked her on a date.

They're hitting one year as Seungwoo is speaking.

Exhibit B: Woojin and Hyeongseob. Woojin is the 1/2 of the young children the neighbourhood comedic quartet (Jisung, himself, Jaehwan and Jihoon) met during high school, the other one being baby Daehwi. Lean, tan, awkward with a heavy Busan satoori from just moving to Seoul, everyone took an instant liking to Park Woojin. Jihoon recruited him in what he called the Baby Faced Gang but everyone tagged them with the Pink Sausages, or PinkSaugang, because of their matching pink pyjamas at sleepovers. Jisung is always happy to adopt more children into his clutch, being the residential babysitter between their respective three households since young and the emergency contact Jaehwan, Seungwoo and Jihoon memorised next to their parents' details by the age of six. Jihoon felt glad for the appearance of a younger boy because his time to be called 'baby face' would presumably cease but ironically, Woojin looks even older than he is and thus Jihoon was and still is stuck with the curse in the form of a blessing that is his youthful face. Being friends with Woojin is simple. The kid only ever has two concerns in his mind and they are dance and soccer. A Park Woojin flourishes anywhere on dancing and playing soccer alone.

It was the break between semesters and the plot of land next to Jihoon's house was unoccupied. They were all waiting for Jisung to come back from his Adulting Life at university to umpire their spontaneous but also expected soccer game as he's the only one with a qualified first aid degree. Too many twisted elbows and flying toenails had happened for the boys to not have an Adult supervising them. So there they were, lazing around, Jaehwan singing every Disney song he knows, Jihoon running away from the bugs. Woojin was bored and rotating between throwing Jaehwan and Jihoon over his shoulder while keeping a safe distance from Seungwoo because he's still wary ~~salty~~ about that One Time Seungwoo One-Upped him. 

Woojin obviously decided to put the past behind him and came at Seungwoo who was minding his own business, immersing himself with the colours of the wind, true Pocahontas style. Suddenly he was shoved sideways with a mad cackling from Jaehwan. He hit the hard grass with Woojin crashing on top of him, arms throwing him to the side. Springing up like he just got a fresh dose of anti-gravity, Woojin started circling around the field like he won the World Cup, then swooped towards Jaehwan's directions in a ninja run, arms behind him, flapping like an eagle.

Many things happened. Seungwoo was on the ground trying to get up and Jihoon couldn't reach the other two on time. One minute Woojin was diving at Jaehwan, next minute Jae dropped to the ground and slammed his foot into Woojin's shin, both doubling over, Woojin more in agony and Jae in shock. 

Then the wailing happened. Do Seungwoo and Jihoon tease Woojin until this day? You bet.

Jaehwan being the good soul he is, bounced back up and tried to prise Woojin's hands from his shins, trying to see the damage he'd done. Jisung was about five minutes away and they couldn't stop hurting themselves. Seungwoo and Jihoon crowded around Woojin, half-jeering half-worried, Jihoon trying to keep a straight face while Seungwoo was Genuinely Concerned, when Ahn Hyeongseob ran at them from somewhere.

The funny thing was, Hyeongseob was that cute child from a younger year level whose name kept surfacing from Jihoon as 'really enthusiastic, likes to do everything, good at sports too I think', from Jaehwan as 'my newest child' and from a Park Woojin as 'the really cute bo - I mean guy from the next class you didn't hear it right?' Coincidentally, or not so coincidentally as he made eye contact with Jaehwan who winked at him and Seungwoo's inner eye from then on registered the fact that his childhood friend was not only an actual snake, but an emerging snake, getting to shed his skin to reveal how fucking sneaky he was. Hyeongseob, the poor gullible innocent baby, gently nudged Jihoon and Jaehwan away to inspect Woojin whose face had gone as red as the bruise on his damn shin. Although Seungwoo didn't know the full extent of this crush, he knew that Woojin, the shyest one out of all of them, wouldn't have the guts in him to go up and talk to Hyeongseob normally. There was also that tiny little concern of He Might Be Straight and none of them knew how to address that without coming across as hitting on Hyeongseob. Which wasn't important as Woojin's leg started swelling up and they did not know first aid to treat him.

"Please move aside so I can have a look at it," Hyeongseob told Jihoon gently and nudged him aside, hands splaying over the injured site.

Seungwoo frowned, then ahh'ed as Jihoon's finger skipped from his shoulder to chest, like a sash that wasn't visible. Seungwoo remembered that Hyeongseob knows first aid since he was a boy scout, with vague memories of him coming around their houses with cookies. Woojin was manhandled to a sitting position with Hyeongseob applying pressure onto his shin, sitting on his feet and searching with his eyes to see what else was wrong with the Busan boy. Jihoon took about three seconds of confused glancing between these two to grasp the situation, which he rolled his eyes at, but with a shit-eating grin along with Jaehwan's I Did A Meddling Thing But It Got My Baby In With The Cute Boy Scout smirk ~~grimace~~ face. 

Woojin did his iconic stuttering and Hyeongseob either decided right then and there that he liked awkward and tan or he was just too nice, laughed and told Woojin to stop trying to talk, his shin would be bruising for a while. He moved in closer and Woojin sent them this look of absolute terror and the three of them waved at him with the Queen Wave, standing further behind those two. Jisung finally arrived, with Jihoon actually being a responsible and caring hyung by calling Jisung who not only tripped when he heard the news but came up to them with five ice packs, putting them on Woojin and mothering him.

Hyeongseob asked to stay to 'look after Woojinnie' which a normal person would expect, in their right mind, for fifteen minutes, but it's been like nearly four years and Hyeongseob had since joined an inseparable pact with Daehwi and Jihoon, the troublemaker maknaes. In terms of successful romancing, there's not much development as Jaehwan had nudged Hyeongseob and left it there because he didn't want to meddle any further, in case Woojin freaked out. But there's that very integral role that he played in introducing those two and Seungwoo would be damned if there wasn't some planning involved.

 

Why did he mention Jaehwan's matchmaking prowess? Because he overheard Daehw, Hyeongseob and about a million more people whisper this 'Project Ongniel' thing where they try to push Seungwoo and Daniel together, to varying success. No one came actually close to Seungwoo having to say more than two sentences to Daniel, which is disappointing on both their ends and his. He likes the guy, but the problem lies within his ability to actually initiate conversation without running away. He finally consults Jaehwan about this desire to be Daniel's friend without trying to sound too thirsty, but the bastard grew up with him and can read him without Seungwoo saying much, so he only listens and pats his head. The week drags on to Seungwoo panicking when he sees Daniel in the hallway and before entering the studio, now accompanied by Jaehwan, Jihoon or Jisung to the door. None of them react when he promptly tries to remove his presence from this mortal earth, mostly hiding behind smaller people. It's the end of the week when he's at Jaehwan's dorm again, draping himself all over Guan Lin who pores over a Hanja to Hangul translation assignment and shifting to make sure Seungwoo doesn't break his neck or something due to how much of his torso is hanging all over Guan Lin's back.

The little chit thinks he doesn't notice, but he so does.

"My game is in two days," Guan Lin tells him, glancing over his shoulder

"Great, I'll bring the squad."

"You don't have to come -"

Seungwoo puts up a hand, "My beautiful stupid gullible son, what makes you think I wouldn't come?"

Guan Lin scrunches his nose at the adjectives, akin to his expression whenever he witnesses aegyo and tastes something bitter. "You and Jae-hyung will ruin the game so I thought it's better to prevent it now than later."

"Bullshit, you just don't want me to see you potentially fuck up, which you won't by the way. I saw those blisters. How long did you practice for?" 

Guan Lin opens his mouth to protest that he indeed did not have any injuries, but Seungwoo's eyes flick down to his peeling fingertips and up at his face. The kid shuts up.

"I grew up with Woojinnie. He plays soccer religiously. At some point a guy just knows what's a sport wound and what's a normal injury. You won't fuck up because the hours of practice you put in won't go to waste. Even if you don't win I wouldn't care because you put in effort," Seungwoo's voice softens and he cards his fingers through Guan Lin's hair who might have started on the wrong foot with him for the first week, but now sits through Ong's clingy ways voluntarily. 

"For a minute there I thought you were genuine," is the heartfelt reply he receives and Seungwoo tackles the boy to the couch, crying in fake agony.

"I THOUGHT WE HAD A MOMENT LAI GUAN LIN!"

"You're crushing me."

 

(Unbeknownst to him, once again, the Mothers and Hyungs Association, which somehow extends to Taehyun who is a Very Responsible Crowd Control Master Number 0, have finally contacted Jaehwan, asking him to seriously meddle. Jaehwan hunted down Daniel's squad which is tiny (Daniel, Taewoong, Haknyeon and Yongguk), did the snaky whispery whisper and somehow got them to convince Daniel to come to the basketball game, which Daniel is a regular anyways. They devised this tactic where they isolate Daniel long enough to get Seungwoo also isolated and run. The probability of that working out is astronomical, but frankly people are done with them two doing the camel ostrich samba Charleston around each other. Anything to stop it is appreciated at this point.)

 

So after Jaehwan ditched him, Seungwoo knows that not only was he betrayed by his best bro and hoe since birth, but that the shit planned this and there's no viable option out of this hole that Jaehwan threw him into. He meets Daniel's eyes, soft and brown like his hair and offers a wavering smile.

Daniel snorts.

"Um fucking excuse me, why are you snorting, punk?" He rolls his eyes.

The brunette in front of him laughs in surprise, eyes wide as Seungwoo reevaluates his words. 

"Yeah this is why you don't see me outside of a stage I have no filter," he mutters and Daniel moves closer, giving a large palm out to him. "Yes?'

"Hi hyung. I see you're well."

"I haven't seen you for two weeks. What happened to you?" He puts his own palm on top of Daniel's who doesn't shake but squeezes his hand. Seungwoo squints at him and Daniel jostles their linked hands, giggling with his trademark eye smile.

"B-Boy championship. Came first in this area. Our next one is in a month."

"Is that why I can see that brace, brat?"

"You nag like my mum, hyung," Daniel grins. He scoffs.

"That's because you never take care of yourself enough."

Daniel giggles, "Did you notice?"

"What, Niel-ah?"

"You're talking to me normally, outside of the studio. I've been trying to start a conversation with you for ages but you keep running away. Thank God I came today."

Fuck Jaehwan and his meddling ways. Seungwoo nods numbly and tries to become a Cool Suave Man with Jawline So Sharp It Cuts You, but Daniel spots his friends somewhere and clasps his hand with his own free one. Before Seungwoo can protest, the other boy brings his hand up to his mouth and kisses it, closing his eyes then runs away, waving to him at the 2 metre mark.

He's going to have a coronary.

 

Stupid Victoria Kim and Hwang Minhyun's damn fan clubs. Seungwoo is fuming but deflates just as quickly when Daniel comes up to sit next to him, giggling as he openly declares his sexuality to like 90% of the school population and challenging anyone who want to have a go at him. Daniel laughs and holds his hands, again, then tags along to their post-game feast, to the detriment of the restaurant that they occupy.

After much screaming from Daehwi and Jihoon who bicker over who gets to sit next to Jinyoung. Jisung instead removes Jinyoung from these two, planting himself instead in the middle. Seungwoo is throwing his arms around Jaehwan who is still shooketh with his eye contact with Minhyun who Seungwoo always disapproves of. Daniel talks with Taehyun like they've been in contact recently, with Sungwoon surging periodically in between their speeches with updates from Woojin and Hyeongseob, waving his phone around and nearly smacking Guan Lin in the face.

Guan Lin chooses to crouch, face flat on the table. Jinyoung coos over him and feeds the boy bits of crackers as he talks with Daehwi, trying to be cool and chill while his ears are redder than Woojin's hair a year ago. It's a nice gathering of their smattering squad and a time to pig on Jisung's cooking. But all good things come to an end as Daehwi springs up because he actually has responsibilities like tutoring and Jinyoung offers to walk him back with Jaehwan whistling in the background and Ong whooping. Sungwoon and Taehyun leave a bit afterwards; Sungwoon, despite his thesis and Taehyun, despite his upcoming mock trial, still came to see Guan Lin's game. The Taiwanese kid who may know or not know of this, stands up and hugs both of them goodbye, Taehyun looking him in the eye and muttering 'stay strong child' and Sungwoon pulling him into a headlock. Finally it's just the neighbourhood squad plus Daniel and Guan Lin, the former listening to Jihoon's whatever stories and Jisung coaxing Guan Lin into eating his food salad.

"We haven't gone out in ages," Jaehwan murmurs to him.

"Jae-goon, you know I don't see you that way," he automatically jeers back and his friend backhands him across the shoulder. At their collective cackling, Daniel turns to him with wide eyes and he waves it away, smiling at the boy.

Jaehwan smirks at him like he knows he's doing the Lord's work. Ong elbows him.

"You wanna play soccer again once Jinnie gets back from Japan?" Jihoon asks from his phone, "He's screaming yes by the way, over in Osaka."

"Remember the last time we played soccer? All of us?" Jisung reminds them.

"That was years ago, and I played soccer with him two months ago, nothing happened," Jae reassures Jisung who still has war flashbacks to Woojin's black and purple shins for two weeks straight.

"You were the one who kicked him, dipshit," Seungwoo snorts.

"The past is the past and we only talk about the present, thanks," Jaehwan throws both hands over his ears and Jihoon points at his I-tasted-a-sour-lemon face. "What else do we do then, Ong-ssi?"

"Ice skating," he slams a fist to his palm, "I wanted to try the full Yuri On Ice experience."

 _"We were born to make history,"_ they burst out in perfect synchronisation. No one bat an eye and Jaehwan high-fives him. 

"I have tickets from my friends," Daniel perks up, "he didn't get to go on that day so he said I can have them."

"Ask him to come with you," Jaehwan gestures to Seungwoo who is frozen on his seat, "take him away, have a crack at it, go."

"Do you want to? Come with me?"

"Uh," he scans around with panicked eyes. Jihoon and Jaehwan's faces tell him to say yes while Jisung reaches over Jaehwan and lies a comforting motherly hand over his own.

"I can come if you want."

"Yeah okay I'm coming," Seungwoo agrees, "please don't mow me over."

"I'll be nice to you, don't worry," Daniel raises his cup of peach juice and winks at him.

 

And of course nothing in life goes as he wants it to. First Jisung ditches him, unwillingly, then Sungwoon manhandles him into clothes which he's sure are Guan Lin's or Jinyoung's, with Jaehwan labouring over the shirt with an iron that comes too close to Guan Lin's ankles a few times when he was trying to cross the room. At the end, apparently it's all worth it because they all say he looks good and Seungwoo trusts them, the time he knows these guys exceed the mark for being nice on appearances. If he looks bad, they say he does. If he looks good, then they will goddamn praise him.

If he looks good, then honestly, frankly, Jaehwan's 2000 dollars guitar-ly, the fuck is Kang Daniel?

He keeps his head down as he exits the car, looking elsewhere but Daniel's face, which apparently doesn't work out because Daniel is in front of him and he's wondering if humans can die when they hold their breath in for more than three minutes. 

"Hi hyung," Daniel breathes, eyes wide, "you look good."

Seungwoo attempts to dignify a response but Daniel's eyes run up and down his body, then back to his face. How dare he. How dare this stupid good-looking man do this to Seungwoo's lame mopey heart.

Jisung must've been really invested because he accidentally falls onto the horn and they jump apart, looking elsewhere but each other. When the car reverses away, Daniel looks at him again, eyes soft and fond with Some Unidentified Emotion and Seungwoo wants to run in the direction of his dorm but also to Daniel's arms.

"Let's go inside," he murmurs softly to the brunette.

"Okay hyung," Daniel murmurs back.

They link hands.

 

It all was a blur and he remembered falling down a lot. Daniel at some point started laughing at him for a minute straight and Seungwoo took his revenge in ramming into the brunette who only didn't fall down but took Seungwoo with him. They flailed and hit the ice, Daniel twisting in midair so that Seungwoo landed on top of him him, arms wrapped around his thin self and Seungwoo felt heat under his collar despite being a body away from the ice floor.

"Up up up I can't have you dying of hypothermia," he remembered pulling them both up, "let's go outside I'm freezing."

He must've done something right because Daniel not only bought him dinner and walked him around, but walked him back to his apartment, which was like a half an hour walk.

Seungwoo did remember wanting to keep this boy forever.

 

"Can we do this again?" Daniel asks him at his door, hands all tangled with his fingers. There's an obvious attempt at trying to lean in close but Ong doesn't kiss on the first date, so he backs off. Daniel  pouts cutely, scrunching his nose under the shitty lamp light back on sixth street near his apartment. He squishes the Jaehwan in him that wants to burst into Photograph and Ed Sheeran serenades this beautiful boy. Seungwoo leans to whisper into his ear.

"I don't kiss by the first date, but I do accept confessions. Any last words?"

Daniel pulls away to look into his eyes.

"To be honest I'm stuck between 'Well my dear, I don't give a damn' and 'If I wait until I'm ready I'll be waiting for the rest of my life."

Seungwoo snorts so loud it breaks away all the awkward ice treading they've both been doing.

"I cannot believe you just quoted Margaret Mitchell and Lemony Snickett at me, Kang Daniel. I thought better of you."

"Well then, that's why the second date is necessary then," Daniel beams at him, " I can't wait."

"Who said yes? It wasn't me," Seungwoo turns his head to the side and Daniel laughs, catching his face. They stare at each other for a long second, Daniel's fingers warm on his cheeks.

"I'll text you when I'm free. Please reply," and he leans in to Seungwoo.

"Yah Kang Daniel," he bats the boy off, but Daniel already kissed his cheek, "who gave you permission?"

"Euigeon," Daniel says and catches a wrist, "mu birth name is Euigeon."

"Holy shit that's so cute," Seungwoo snatches his face this time, squishing his cheeks together. At Daniel's, uh Euigeon's complaint, he presses his palms in even harder, cackling as arms start to hit him.

"Goodnight, Euigeon-ah. I'll text you or something tomorrow morning. If I don't then I'm dead. Go, be gone pleb. I don't want you loitering around my doorstep," he releases Daniel who smiles at him even brighter than the street lamp, reaches in to open the door he unlocked from some time ago and gestures for him to enter. Seungwoo rolls his eyes, shoulders his way inside and Daniel waves at him one last time before closing it for him, feet walking away outside.

He calls Jaehwan straight away and his friend picks up, voice excited at progress.

"You're a fucking snake and I hate your meddling ass, but I had an out-of-this-world date so I want to thank you. Now back off bitch."

"Oh wow Ong-ssi why the cold words. Love me more. I thought we were gonna have that wedding when we're thirty."

"Shut up you cunt I was four and you looked adorable in that Mulan's dress. Don't blame me."

"Go to sleep, Seungie-yah."

 

A second date turns into a tenth date, which gradually leads to Daniel finally getting the chance to work around Seungwoo's evasion and confess to him. They're at the park near Jaehwan's dorm where Daniel starts to hum something under his breath. Seungwoo moves in closer and recognises the familiar tune of Alicia Keys when the brunette turns to him and grins.

_Some people want it all,_

_But I don't want nothing at all_

_If it ain't you, baby_

_If I ain't got you baby_

"Stop stop, I get it, I get it," he cries and throws a hand over Daniel's mouth. The brunette dodges out of the way and starts singing a different song.

_And baby I will, be loving you, till we're seventy_

_And baby my heart still fall as hard when we're twenty three_

"Kang Daniel, I will murder you."

_"I'm thinking bout~"_

"Euigeon."

_"You'll always be, promise me, baby, because you are the only one."_

"Kang Euigeon I will date you now stop with your atrocious singing it's like 10 pm," he hits Daniel on the shoulder when the boy whoops loudly and tackles Seungwoo into a hug, smelling like cotton candy and sultry flowers he gave Seungwoo before their date. Seungwoo pouts into the boy's chest and Daniel holds him at arm's length, eyes bright.

"Can I kiss you now?" 

"Next time, Euigeon-ah, next time."

 

Kang Daniel kisses Ong Seungwoo a week later at the city b-boy championship. Seungwoo is justified in everything as his boyfriend works hard for it and the least he can give the cute sexy brunette is a little peck.

The dance crew cheers even louder than when Daniel won.

 

 "You know, if it wasn't for Jaehwannie, we wouldn't be where we are now," Daniel mumbles into his shoulder one day when he's rehearsing lines for Hyeongseob's thing, Seungwoo's thumb drawing lazy circles on Daniel's knee.

"Ew don't say that. It makes him think he's some sort of divine lord. Look at me, Kim Jaehwan, successful matchmaker of twelve happy couples," he scrunches his nose distastefully, script moving to tap Daniel on the hair. The brunette nuzzles more into his neck, nose scenting the base of his pulse, breathing lightly on the skin.

"You kept running away. Unless I physically cage you in a spot where you can't get out, you would most likely run."

Seungwoo can't help the tiny flinch that he emits.

"Which I don't blame you for. I'm pretty intimidating if you don't know me well."

"I couldn't really talk to you much because of the first time we met. You had like, golden honey syrup abs," Daniel starts to shake, pulling away to laugh into his fists. Seungwoo pinches his knee. "And I was intimidated. I may look like God took pity on humankind, but I'm shy as fuck. There's no way I'm coming up to you and talking normally like I haven't seen your abs three minutes ago. You smell really good too, like how dare you. And your thighs, man, good shit."

"Ong Seungwoo I'm oddly flattered."

"Bro, dude, my main boy," he turns around with a toss of his hair, "I willingly gave up my crown as Campus Desirable Bachelor Number Two for your atrocious night singing and bad flannel fashion. You should be more than oddly flattered."

Daniel only giggles and kisses him, mumbling into his mouth an 'I do.'

Seungwoo tries not to think of wide archways and church organs. Of children's laughs and matching rings.

 

"Also I'm this close to destroying Hwang Minhyun. How long will I face if I like assault him?"

"Hyung no."

"But he made my main hoe cry."

"Jaehwannie is more than capable of handling himself. He didn't call you nor Jisung hyung. I think whatever he did helped."

"Jinyoungie smuggled him through a window at midnight for a counselling session on the swings and bought vanilla lattes at like one in the morning."

"See, that probably helped."

"But what if I just threaten him though-"

"Seungwoo-hyung, no. I will knock you out and move you to Canada if I have to."

"... Just a glare then."

"..."

"Kang Euigeon why the fuck are you looking up sponsorship to Canada come back here you lousy shit!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it pyjamas or pajamas????
> 
> I'm Australian and my laptop is trying to tell me I spelled PJs wrong even though I've been spelling it p-y-j-a-m-a-s for like all of my life???
> 
> Woojin is absolutely me with my cousins.
> 
> Don't you wish that you can have a cute boy opening your door, wait for you to get inside, close the door and then go home? 
> 
> Yeah me too fam.


	10. Of recovery and threats over coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I bring you:  
> \- a hangover + childhood brothers moments  
> \- a coffee date (platonic)  
> \- my boy Zhengting and Eunki need more love  
> \- Jihoon the snake  
> \- many singing because that seems to be a Thing  
> \- general gibberish and gobble-dy-dook  
> \- people hanging out and being friends and Not Dating  
> \- 'babe' used as what your friends call you not your partner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know if many of you are aware but, I am Underage And Therefore Unexposed To The Symptoms Of A Hangover, so the accuracy of being drunk will be slightly or completely off.
> 
> I tried, okay?
> 
> Also yay yay I have today and tomorrow off for my exams but I am sort of prepared and this is sort of done, so I'm finishing it!

Jaehwan has his lists of dos and don'ts and waking up in Eunki's brightly lit trophy room with someone's jacket tossed over his head definitely tops the don'ts list.

"What happened to me?" He clutches his temple, hearing the symphony of his hangover banging against his skull, a continuous _fuck you bitch_ playing on loop.

"Hello dear," Jisung pops his head through the door, face breaking out into his Mummy Smile™. "Water?"

"Yes please," Jae croaks. His throat feels like an army of red ants decided to march and sting their merry way through it. Bright spots swim before his eyes and he's not too sure if he's got all his limbs. 

He slaps himself on the face. Yep, still got an arm.

Jisung returns with a water bottle and watches him with a weird face. Jaehwan tips his head up, almost coughing on the liquid pouring down his throat. Jisung takes the bottle away when his grip on it loosens and there's water outside instead of inside his mouth and over his neck.

"Do you remember why you climbed on the kitchen table and falling down?" His hyung asks.

"Shit I fell?"

"That's your priority?"

"I could've died, hyung. Of course it's a priority."

"Don't do this to me Jaehwannie, I'll die of a cardiac arrest if I have to dive across the room to try and catch you again," the older boy sighs and rifles through his sweaty hair strands, courtesy of his hair gel earlier on that night. A finger gets stuck and Jisung struggles through it, gripping Jaehwan's head with one hand and pulling his other hand out.

"Aww but hyung, you did catch me right? Or whoever did," he waves Jisung's troubled expression away. "Tell them thanks for me."

 "That's all you remember, the falling?"

"Yeah. It's all a blur after I fell. I didn't hit my head, right?"

"Baby, if you haven't been caught I doubt we'll be having this conversation in Eunki's trophy room," Jisung smiles tiredly like he doesn't know what to do with Jaehwan. He can relate. He doesn't even know what to do with himself like 6 and a half days of the week. "I only got there after you fell, so I wasn't too sure who got you covered."

"Oh," Jaehwan feels vaguely disappointed, the blurred lines of his post-drunk memories fucking with the rational part of his brain. He thinks a guy caught him somehow. Maybe. Once again, very blurred lines.

He can hear Robin Thicke's voice picks up the chorus to the damn song in his mind. He shakes his head, expunging those misogynistic words out. _Off you pop Thicke my brain ain't a storage space for your misogynistic lyrics._

"Seungie wants to see you," Jisung wriggles his finger masterfully out of his sticky and gross sprayed hair. Before Jaehwan can reply, Ong Seungwoo, the main hoe to his lonely bard life, kicks the door open and storms in, followed by an apologising Jihoon.

"I didn't get to do my tribal chief beckoning war speech before, so now I'm doing my 'you almost gave me a heart attack' rant," clothes wrinkled and splattered with punch juice, some alcohol and water splats, Ong Seungwoo still looks alive and not as much of the mess that Jaehwan is feeling. He swallows down a groan, feeling a bruise on his knee.

"Hyung you're so loud," Jihoon complains from the doorway, "and I'm not even drunk. Spare his ears."

"I'll take care of the rest of the kids," Jisung grabs him by both sides of the temple, looking him dead in the eye, "scream if you need to kick Seungwoo out."

He kisses Jaehwan loudly on the forehead and quickly leaves, probably hearing Guan Lin's call for help. Something about Daniel b-boying on the floor.

"Shouldn't you like, go?" He slaps himself across the eyes again, but that's because he wanted to rub his forehead, but misjudges the distance, ending up with a stinging disappointment at his cognitive abilities. 

"Nah, Danny always pulls b-boy tricks, sober or drunk. I told you, I have a duty as your best hoe, so I ain't going just yet. Jihoon is here in case I need to run out and will run in my stead," Seungwoo gestures vaguely to Jihoon's direction who squawks out a protest of 'I promised no such thing', "yes you will darling. Anyways, any recollection, migraines, missing toes? Sungwoon hyung is yet to be located so you'll just have to stick to my shitty rusty first aid skills."

"You watched like two episodes of Doctors," Jaehwan scoffs, the sound oddly identical to autotune inside his head, "you do not have the skills nor do you qualify."

"Shut the fuck up, you wilted lettuce leaf, and answer my question. Pain level?" Seungwoo kneels in front of him, face stupidly attractive in the dark room. Jihoon's footsteps sound like they're getting closer.

"In terms of like, actual legit pain, I'll go with a solid two. In terms of regret and hangover, an eighty," he chews on his tongue.

"So nothing serious then," Seungwoo nods.

"How about you hop back out there Ong-ssi and leave me to mope in my misery?"

"You didn't hit your head right?" Jihoon's fingers touch the side of his head and his left ear, "I mean, I don't feel any unusual dents and everything are where they're meant to be, so..."

"Thanks Sherlock," Seungwoo snorts. "Excellent diagnosis. Couldn't have said it better myself."

"Hyung, please, just because I squeezed in faster in the changing room than you did does not guarantee this beef. I grew up with you. I should have childhood brother privilege."

"The only childhood brother privilege available to exploit is being able to walk by my beautiful side."

"You can reserve that to Daniel-hyung."

"And maybe free food."

"Now you're sounding reasonable."

"Your fingers are really soft," Jaehwan tells Jihoon, voice slurred. Their voices are still distinct enough for him to know who's speaking what, but God grants him less-drunken vision to see who's saying what. Jihoon grips his skull, keeping his head upright. He murmurs something or whatever and his eyelids fall shut.

"Okay then, guess Sungwoon hyung won't be able to do much then," Seungwoo smacks his lips distastefully. "Let me hold this drunkard, Hoonie." They shuffle a slightly snoring Jaehwan onto Seungwoo's shoulder, Jihoon trying to close Jaehwan's open mouth but deciding against it, cringing when his finger comes near alcohol-heavy breath.

"Any idea what went south?" Seungwoo hoists Jaehwan onto his lap and waves away the bewildered head of a Sungwoon who is held by the back of his shirt by Noh Taehyun, both loitering outside the door.

"Taehyun is asking if he's good!" Sungwoon screams.

"Yes! Go away hyung!" Seungwoo screams back. Taehyun drags Sungwoon away who's spasming in great distress, obviously fighting both Taehyun and his medical practitioner instincts. Throwing a sideways look to Jihoon and Seungwoo, Taehyun murmurs some comforting or magical Parseltongue words to Sungwoon, who deflates a little bit but he's still hitting Taehyun on the chest and arms.

"If I tell you, promise you won't throw a fit," Jihoon looks at Seungwoo. They stare at each other for a solid second.

"What, Hwang Minhyun caught him?" Seungwoo snorts.

And chokes on his snort when Jihoon struggles to answer 'yes' without going through a whole-body seizure. 

_"What?"_

"He was behind the kitchen counter and dived across it to catch hyung. I don't think he knew who it was before he saw hyung's face," Jihoon attempts to rectify the situation.

"Did he like throw this kid off?" Seungwoo jiggles Jaehwan whose head lolls and slumps on the crook of his neck. 

"No, but I think Jae-hyung tried to kiss Minhyun-ssi."

Seungwoo nearly elbows Jaehwan on the nose. 

"So yeah, there's that."

"Okay, seriously, what the fuck? When was I when this happen? Who else saw? Who do we silence?"

"Uh, Taewoong-ssi and Guan Lin," Jihoon crinkles his nose, with gusto, he likes to say. Seungwoo thinks it's the closest humans can look to rabbits, but he has other priorities than teasing Jihoon right now and then.

"Did he leave straight after?"

"To be honest, I was more worried that he fell so I grabbed Jisung hyung. Apparently Minhyun-ssi was waiting outside the door for Taewoong-ssi to pick him up. After that, not much."

"Bruh," Seungwoo breathes out, "what if this kid remembers?"

"Nah," Jihoon waves a hand, "he got drunk during graduation and broke three chairs, a couple of plates and nearly smashed a grand piano in Ji-hyung's house. The next day he asked me why the piano moved. Not possible."

"Yeah, but-"

"He's gone now and I don't think he'll be back to claim compensation for catching Jae-hyung," Jihoon toys with Jaehwan's fingers.

"What if he tries to come back for Jae-goon, though? This bitch won't be able to fend the guy off. He needs a week to get over himself. With Yuri On Ice playing on loop and singing Sia."

They cringe. Jaehwan can hit the notes well, but Sia is loud. Jaehwan is even louder, and screechier. 

"Guan Lin told me he threatened him beforehand, so we don't have to worry about him coming back soon."

"I knew we did right when we rescued him by the front gate this year."

"Bullshit, I asked him if he wanted to have lunch with us, don't claim all the credits to yourself, hyungie."

"Ya, who's the older one here, huh?"

"Hyung you asked me what the Globe Theatre is and you act!"

"That has nothing to do with anything!"

 

 After Daehwi and Daniel join the Drunk Club with Jaehwan, the party mellows down and there are sounds of people trampling over the bananas near the doorway, falling sideways and trying to drunkenly walk in a straight line. Jisung offers to drive Seungwoo and Jihoon home, but only Sungwoon leaves with Taehyun, wagging a finger at them and telling them to call him 'soon as these drunkards' wake up. Jisung himself stays behind with Eunki who nurses a slightly buzzed Zhengting back into the world of living and passes out on the couch, after sending Taewoong off with the rest of his drunken crew, Sewoon telling him to pass on a challenge to a sing-off, or a rip-off to Jaehwan. Sewoon's more than reasonably drunk at that point and any more word out of him seems like it'll sap his soul. So Jisung, the kind motherly soul of everyone and anyone, pretends to completely understand what the request was and promises to pass on the message to Jaehwan.

 

Jaehwan wakes up in a confusing tangle of limbs, where Jihoon is curled to one of his side and Woojin to another. Somehow during the night or early morning, the small ass bed which can accommodate like three people maximum ended up with five, Seungwoo and Daniel cuddling on the edge. Jaehwan tightens his hold on Woojin who's teetering on the edge of the bed and the kid mumbles, scooting closer to him. He debates the ethics of getting up and waking four other people. He's out cold way before these more or less drunk friends and he's not sporting a painful hangover. Woojin and Jihoon he knows probably didn't drink that much, with Jisung and their entire merry band of holy brothers monitoring them. Guan Lin isn't in there, but he renounces alcohol since Jaehwan knew him and the only alcohol that graced Jisung's lips was the obligatory wine glass he had to sip at the law internship party where he had to be sophisticated and adult-y. Sungwoon and Taehyun have been taking care of each other and keeping an eye on Daehwi and Jinyoung. Eunki has his own hands full with Zhengting, Hyeongseob, Euiwoong and whatever other children he and Zhengting adopted. Everyone else in between is unknown and unimportant to him and with great difficulty, Jaehwan pulls both arms from under his dongsaengs' heads, stepping over Seungwoo's long legs and tripping over the laminated floor.

Eunki is up with Jisung, both making food and grinding oranges. Jisung has a batch of freshly-bought or made tofu by his side with a lot of oranges that's been grinded. Poor things.

"Mornin'," he rasps, voice sounding like the sound fingernails on chalkboard, "feed me."

"Sit," Eunki points with his spatula, "wash your damn mouth."

 _How are you?_ Jisung asks him with his eyes.

Jaehwan shrugs. _Meh, could be better._

"Do you want bacon?" Eunki asks, opening the fridge door. "Sorry hyung. You can step out for a bit if the smell's uncomfortable for you," he turns to Jisung whose expressions don't even shift.

"I'll be fine, thank you, Eunki. I'll wake up the children instead. Stay awake," he passes Jaehwan and taps him on the shoulder, palm passing the back of his head briefly.

"I mean, you winning was common knowledge," Eunki begins, oil sizzling. Jaehwan begins to wrack his brain for an appropriate response, but Eunki mercifully continues for him. "But you on my kitchen counter singing Never Tear Us Apart and jumping? Iconic."

"Um," Jaehwan settles on, "that's dangerous, Eunki-yah."

"Don't be a spoilsport, Jae-yah, it's good fun," the brunette scoffs.

"Dude, how?" 

The groans of zombified children interrupt them. Jihoon stumbles into the kitchen, followed by a stumbling Daniel. Woojin and Seungwoo lean onto each other, breathing slowly. Jisung emerges from yet another room, half-carrying Daehwi with Jinyoung on the other side. Hyeongseob is supported out by Euiwoong, whose eyes are still tapered shut. Zhengting and whoever's left are still unknown.

"Eat, and brush your teeth. Then get out," Eunki waves a tea towel at them.

 

By the time they're done and back at their respective dorms, no one besides Jihoon, Seungwoo and Guan Lin know of the Minhyun-Jaehwan fiasco. They didn't mention it to Jaehwan, who's finally showing True Signs of Over Hwang Minhyun.

"But like," Guan Lin told Seungwoo, "he really looked taken aback when I threatened him."

"It's probably nothing, kid," Seungwoo waved it aside. "If it's anything, then he would've come back by now."

Guan Lin didn't comment on it, only hummed.

 

> Everyday passes by  
>  Even when the season changes  
>  At the deepest place in my heart, there is only you  
>  No one, nothing can tear us apart
> 
> Always 
> 
>  

When Jaehwan wants to get a coffee, he normally goes to Jihoon's workplace, because the manager loves him and also turns a blind eye after Jaehwan's screaming lyrics near closing times, waiting for Jihoon to finish up. 

Per routine, he travels to the coffee shop, free from obligations to pick up anything for anyone, except waiting for Eunki. He's sitting at a table, minding his own business and checking any texts from the group chat when a familiar voice whispers softly but clearly next to his ear.

"Oh, stalker-ssi."

Jaehwan almost falls off his seat. Zhung Zhengting laughs at his face.

"Fuck you too, mate," he tells the brunette who not only doesn't apologise but pulls out a chair to sit on, facing him with a shit eating grin.

"How are you?"

"Brilliant, thanks," he bites out.

"Don't be hostile. You did after all stalk Minhyun-ssi. I'm only responding to what I saw. Waiting for my darling?"

"I regret becoming friends with Eunki. I really do."

"Hey, we met during that post-talent show party, but we were both drunk, so it's not fun. But isn't it great now that we see each other again?" Zhengting flashes him a million dollar smile. Jaehwan raises his eyebrows.

"I don't know what's up with you, but stop holding that over me. I'm over him now."

"What was up with that, actually?" Zhengting leans in closer, teeth flashing, "Care to elaborate?"

Before Jaehwan can stop his mouth, he had spat out all the mushy and not-so-mushy details about his crush on Hwang Minhyun. Zhengting proves to be a decent listener, nodding and rapping his fingers onto the table as Jaehwan rambles on. 

"So I drank all my problems away, woke up a bit buzzed and carrying on with my days, I realised that," Jaehwan looks straight at Zhengting whose caramel eyes hold no hostility or mockery, soft and warm like Jihoon's or Guan Lin's or Jisung's or Jinyoung's, "I actually don't like him like as a person - I just held on to the crush because he looks pretty and shit, but now I had that wake-up call, I'm getting over... all of it. No more Hwang Minhyun."

"You go mate," the brunette in front of him cheers.

"You're oddly supportive," Jaehwan noticed wryly.

"It comes with the face."

"Please stop."

Flashing a grin, Zhengting stands up to retrieve his order, hands clutching both coffee cups delicately, steps light and miraculously not bumping into anything. Jaehwan spends all of his life jealous of dancers and that jealousy is going nowhere when he constantly befriended/adopted/ran into/is stuck with dancers 24/8. Placing a familiar caramel macchiato in front of him, Zhengting pulls the seat out and sits, fingers splayed under his chin while the hand wrapped around the coffee cup tap in succession, considering his sad pathetic mopey fate, face mercifully not sympathetic.

"So."

"Stop."

"You all good now?" The Chinese boy gestures vaguely at his face and Jaehwan lets the rueful smile sitting on his lips for a while out, rolling his eyes at Zhengting. 

"Yes, mum."

"Hey, just a concerned acquaintance."

"Nonsense. You earned the title of friend just by sitting here and listening to my heartbreaking rant."

"That's a cheap price to become your friend."

"I know. I don't even bother to raise it because by the second sentence, people normally rush out the door," he sighs dramatically and tosses his head out the direction of the door. "Which is why it's been effective thus far."

Zhengting snickers like it's absolutely hilarious, or just sad. That boy is really good at hiding his sarcasm and mockery.

"Well I'm glad I broke through your impenetrable defences then. What price besides becoming your friend do I get?"

"Nothing, bitch. Being my friend is a privilege."

"Seungwoo-ssi told me that it's more babysitting duty with an unhealthy mix of diplomatic negotiation than simply being a friend. Seems like being around you leans more towards burden than privilege."

"You watch your back, Zhung. I'll stick a knife on it one day. I have a doctor friend. He knows where I can damage your spinal cord."

Zhengting waves it aside, tapping his leg. Jihoon emerges from behind the counter, carrying his complimentary muffin that he always pays for (but Jaehwan always buy the kid majority of what he wants, courtesy of his childhood brother privilege but also because he loves Jihoon like his own son.) Jaehwan inhales the aroma and Jihoon laughs, draping an arm across his back in a side hug, squeezing his shoulders twice. 

"Look, Jihoon is a bright lad. Why don't you have a crush on him?" Zhengting points.

"We're childhood brothers," Jaehwan deadpans, tone flatter than a diving board.

"Okay yeah, sorry boys," the other boy cringes. Jihoon waves it aside with a smile, pulling away from Jaehwan to take out a slip of paper from his barista apron (pastel pink, with bunny prints - his niece bought it for him for Chuseok two years ago and Jihoon's been wearing it since, getting Jisung to pretty much argue the uniform protocol of the coffee shop - obviously Jisung won.) Placing it on the table and sliding it to Zhengting, he smiles his I-make-people-question-their-sexuality-smile.

"Eunki-hyung left this for you."

"Cheers lad," Zhengting unfolds the slip, nods and winks at Jihoon, "all good."

"I'll see you when my shift ends in twenty minutes, hyung, then we can watch the mock trial," Jihoon dusts his apron (Taehyun's obsessive cleaning skills have infected these poor gullible minds) and winks at both of them, with Jaehwan pretending to swoon and Zhengting winking back. Someone rings the counter and he runs back, waving at them.

"I'm always curious, like, do your parents not care about you being..." Zhengting doesn't want to mouth the word, because he doesn't know how sensitive Jaehwan would be or something to the lines of 'you being a homosexual'. He shrugs, waving it aside.

"Once you grow up with Ong Seungwoo, the least heterosexual person alive, your parents start to not care if I turn up home one day with a boy."

"That's both tragic and hilarious."

Jaehwan dumps an entire sugar packet into Zhengting's coffee and cackles as the boy tries to salvage the bitter beverage.

"Payback, bitch"

"You watch your back," Zhengting fake-snarls, "I dance and I know which bone to break to damage your spinal cord," he throws the words back to his face.

They start to cackle, throwing their heads back, shoulders shaking. He rocks back and forth on his chair, Jaehwan's chair skids back a bit and he drags it back, breathing hard. The second time it happens, Zhengting, by some Dance Lord Upstairs Protection Power, grabs his wrist and pulls his entire body back just by this. 

"Shit you're strong," Jaehwan comments, rotating his wrists just to test how much room he has to move. Nothing. It's air-locked.

"Thanks, stalker-ssi," the kid smirks. Is he even a kid? How old is he? Boys nowadays are so tall he has trouble telling.

"It's Kim Jaehwan," he sighs, though he doesn't really care.

"Okay," Zhengting accedes, and starts singing in the middle of the cafe. "Let me hold your hand~"

"Oh fucking Christ," Jaehwan tries to pull back without dying of laughter, Zhengting now singing in earnest, "you're one crazy bastard."

"Takes one to know one, Kim-ssi," Zhengting singsongs, "Hug me now lady you drive me crazy, with the cool breeze, the two of us~"

Someone exits the shop quite forcefully, but Jaehwan is too busy laughing and shaking Zhengting off. Once he pulls back his chair and all four legs are on the ground, the Chinese boy lets go, still singing whatever comes into his mind. His voice isn't bad and he's not that tone-deaf, so Jaehwan forfeits his musical criticism. The guy dances, not make music for a living. He should be able to sing shittily if that's what makes his heart happy (or liver? soul? Jisung's heartfelt anecdotes sometimes go over Jaehwan's head.)

"Hey babies," someone greets them and a Hong Eunki drapes himself all over Zhengting, who doesn't even blink but shifts so that he's hugging his boyfriend back.

"Disgusting," Jaehwan pulls a face. Which is as close as he can get to _Cute_ in front of a couple. Thank God Taewoon fight all the time.

"Let's go? Jihoon-ah told me to walk you two out," Eunki latches an arm to the crook of Zhengting's elbow and the other laced with Jaehwan. "Onward, my cute little chickens!"

"Please fix your pet names," he turns to Eunki who flicks his hair in a flourish, deeming his opinions too low for his kingly/queenly status to heed.

"Don't be jealous I can pull it off, babe, I pull anything off. Jihoonie, latch on, we're going!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!"

 

The slip of paper sits in Zhengting's jean pocket reads:

_dont panic and dont show that i lied to hyung's face. this is an emergency. ~~the asshole~~ hwang minhyun is behind the counter. keep hyung busy. he'll leave soon. _

_ps: if u can like, make it look like ur on a date with him that'd be nice too thanks_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that ending was ambiguous enough. 
> 
> Lyrics from Let me by GOT7 and Always from Produce. 
> 
> I'M SORRY I MADE THIS SEEMS LIKE A FILLER CHAPTER BUT I HAVE A PLAN-ISH PLEASE TRUST IN ME


	11. Of second chances and shadows of things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this episode I bring you:  
> \- actual progress (are you proud of me????)  
> \- some Minhwan because of popular demand  
> \- HATAE/TAEWOON/WHATEVER TAEHYUN X SUNGWOON IS  
> \- CHOI TAEWOONG DESERVES MORE LOVE HONESTLY I JUST WANT TO PROTECT HIM  
> \- Minhwan interaction is like the softest literature feather I ever wrote  
> -Minhyun is a nerd  
> -protective friend Ha Sungwoon ready to take people down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I missed the weekly update promise because maths is cancer and I have this open for like, two weeks, and I have time now to finish, but it will be after the 9th next month that I will update again because my exams are on the 8th and 9th.
> 
> Prayers would be nice.
> 
> Please have this peace offering in the meantime. It's very rough and I honestly don't know what happened to it. Comments and electronic flowers would be greatly appreciated. You will hear from me soon when it's after the 9th next month. Hopefully I will live.

Choi Taewoong didn't ask to be involved in all of this...love business. He just wanted to talk to Yoon Jisung. Maybe bribe him for his legal notes, maybe bribe him for his hand in marriage.

He didn't ask to drive a Minki high and knocked out on whatever illicit substances Hong Eunki allows free circulation of in his household, a passed out cold Jonghyun with a sleeping Sewoon next to him and Minhyun, well, therein lies his predicament.

"It'll be a while, so tell me everything," he sighs from the steering wheel, "or do you prefer not to?"

"Do you think people only like me for my face?" Minhyun lifts his head and makes eye contact with Taewoong in the rear mirror.

"Where did this come from?" _I don't know how to tell you without breaking your soft damn heart_ , Taewoong wants to say.

"Okay then," Minhyun turns his head. 

 _Oh wait he speaks fluent silent connotations,_ Taewoong turns the wheel, opting to just say everything, "Okay kid, you know I don't do the lying gig, so there it is, you heard the unsaid answer. I'm sorry if it hurts you but that's just the truth."

"Do you think Jaehwan like me for my face too?"

"Hard to say," Taewoong turns again, narrowing his eyes at the swerving car, "people who aren't close to you tend to like the fact that you have a nice face and since the kid isn't close with you, I doubt he actually knows you well enough to like your personality."

"Apparently he sees how much I carry my 'garbage' around," the black-haired boy looks out the window, lights splashing over him like a K-drama. Taewoong feels like the cameo  chauffeur guy, one who listens to the protagonist's woes and worries, gives some heartfelt advice and slinks back into the shadows. Nowadays, his social role is shaping up to be exactly that. "Feels like he spent a long time watching me."

"Watching and interacting are two different things. I could watch a trial case run on or months without actually knowing much about it. I need to be in the case to know the case. I agree that to some degree, it's a perspective learnt at least, but I wouldn't count on that too much to be who you are holistically."

"Why do you talk about criminal law like it's a religion?"

"Minhyun. I will drop you at the side of the road and you will sob until God himself manifests in his physical form to drop you off at your mother's house because you cry so much it's bleeding his ears."

"Hyung you're so terrifying I'm surprised no one you cross-examined cried yet."

Taewoong's smirk is terrifying against the street light. 

"How'd you know, kid?"

 

Amidst the rare moments that he does laugh, Taewoong notices the corners of Minhyun's lips, staying resolutely down. He knows the court case thing was a distraction route, but Minhyun can be pushed as far as this before any fissures or cracks emerge from under that facade he carries around. When Minhyun lugs a limp Minki into the boy's bedroom, Taewoong's fingers hover over a contact number.

"Hello?"

"Tomorrow's my mock trial. Come."

"I heard tonight was some party thing. Everyone okay?"

"Just come tomorrow. I'll explain everything."

"Okay hyung. Go to sleep."

"You too kiddo."

 

Saturday is a sacred day. No one bothers anyone in their dorm and some people get out of coffee duty. Not Minhyun. He's the poor sap with the circadian cycle of a too well-oiled clockwork, metaphorical cuckoo bird punctually torturing his eyelids apart every morning at exactly 6.30 am every damn morning ever since he turned thirteen. 

 _Cuckoo up up you menace let's clean the house,_ the bird tells him.

 _I just want to stay in bed and mope over all the mistakes I ever made in life,_ he replies back.

_Tch. You can do that standing up and walking outside. Go go go._

Halfway through changing, he marvels at the fact that he's listening to a literal figment of his own imagination (Seonho may tell him that's a paradox and it technically doesn't exist, but it's Minhyun's head and he can do whatever he likes with it). Taewoong must've either left early or slept at his friends' house, because there's no cooking and a bright purple sticky note is stuck obnoxiously on the kitchen counter.

_Running and crashing at Taehyun's afterwards. Med's on table. Food's in fridge. Make sure there's juice when Minki is alive again. Go buy milk._

_Woongie hyung_

(=^･ｪ･^=)  
---  
  
 Minhyun swallows his pills. They're bitter and they're stuck somewhere...and they're gone. A door creaks and Dongho steps out, one eye shut and one eye open, stubble wild and black on his face. They nod at each other, Minhyun fully awake by the magical power of the paradoxical cuckoo bird and Dongho less than awake before 7 on a Saturday morning where reasonable people would be trying to catch up on lost sleep over the week. But not them whose sleep patterns are beyond salvation. Dongho sleeps on an average of 3 hours every day since two months ago, his music homework sapping actual life out of him. Minhyun can't stay in bed beyond 6.30, hands busy then to distract himself from his thoughts.

"You good?" Dongho chews his tongue inside his mouth. In actuality it sounds close to a Seonho munching on twenty chestnuts at once.

"Uh yeah," Minhyun tells him, "do you need anything?"

Dongho walks into a table and a chair and shakes his head, looking elsewhere. The chair skids on the floor with an unsavory sound, screeching and screaming in the empty kitchen and Dongho's face falls, eye bags heavy. He staggers onto a chair and collapses into it, the gesture speaks more about how infinitely tiring the process of enduring life as a university student is.

"I'll get us all some coffee," Minhyun pats the guy on the back.

Dongho groans. Maybe it was a thank you.

Minki's room opens and he walks into the doorknob.

"I'll get us a lot of coffee," Minhyun decides.

 

**minnie:**

I'm getting coffee please walk me back

**tortle:**

How do you know my class schedule 

**minnie:**

I know everything Jonghyunnie

Do you want your donuts or not

**tortle:**

Gimme ten minutes I need to check over these stats

He meandered and got lost, looking through the glass of the adoption centre for stray animals and the library to pick up materials for his class. By 9, he pushes the door to the campus coffee shop open, stepping inside to baked goods and the brew of coffee beans, the air warm and toasty inside the cafe. Lining up behind a girl with curly hair sticking out from under her hoodie, he checks his phone for any emergency calls from his housemates or anything from Seonho, who visits his university as often as school allows him to. He's scrolling through a text from his sister two days ago, ranting about her boyfriend's niece when he hears an unmistakable voice. He knows that voice anyway, singing a heartrending ballad last night and drunkenly slurring in his face. 

"So I drank all my problems away, woke up a bit buzzed and carrying on with my days, I realised that," Jaehwan looks straight at the boy across from him, "I actually don't like him like as a person - I just held on to the crush because he looks pretty and shit, but now I had that wake-up call, I'm getting over... all of it. No more Hwang Minhyun."

Minhyun read about feeling thunderstruck in many books, but that's possibly the first time he ever felt anything close to it. But on virtue of being a university student living in constant crippling mental collapse, he's well equipped with separating the conglomeration of feelings and factual information. On one hand, Kim Jaehwan is over him even though Minhyun just had a revelation a week ago that he is capable of feelings and they're romantic and he's confused at what to do. But on the other hand, he's glad Jaehwan ceased liking him for his face, even though that comes at a cost of Jaehwan not liking him at all.

Stupid decisions and his inability to make one. 

A brunette behind the counter sees Minhyun, blinks, stoops down to scribble onto a piece of paper and pushing two baristas to go to a table. Minhyun is too busy panicking inside his own head to notice anything, but then he hears the loudest, most realistic witchy cackle in his life and the entire cafe turn to see where the source of a witch reenactment comes from and something in Minhyun kinda breaks in seeing Jaehwan holding hands with the other boy, both laughing while the boy seems to be singing.

"Your orders?" The barista asks. Minhyun reaches over to take the tray, drops money and cannot remember what he did until he's in front of Jonghyun's lecture hall, arms heavy with food and coffee and feeling like he hasn't cleaned for a week.

"You came!" Jonghyun runs out. "You look dead!" He adds when he sees Minhyun's face.

"Taewoong-hyung's trial. I'm coming," Minhyun's arms shake when Jonghyun relieves him of his burden.

"Are you sure...?"

"Yes. I don't want to think. Walk me to where he is."

 

"Am I going to be ever enlightened or like, you're too into your head you can't talk?"

"I'm going to need to forget everything that happened today and this week and yesterday."

"That actually explains nothing and I hope you know that."

"Just...don't mention Jaehwan in front of me."

Jonghyun scrunches his nose and takes about three seconds to compute this information. He then breathes out an _Ah_ and pats Minhyun between his shoulder blades. 

 

Taewoong glances at them once and promptly stands up to sprint at Jonghyun and Minhyun.

Noh Taehyun blinks at them, his grip on the frying pan still, knuckles turning white. Ha Sungwoon drops his glasses to the ground.

In a feat akin to an Olympic-level lunge, Taewoong intercepts the flying frying pan at the handle with one hand, the other hand pushing Sungwoon's shoulder back. Taehyun, pan aimed at Minhyun gone, pushes Sungwoon back, feet planted firmly on the ground. Neither of them make a sound.

Ha Sungwoon however, thinks the fuck not.

"YOU BASTARD!" He screeches and gesticulates some movements behind Taehyun's arms that look too close to a cultish sacrificial killing to the pagan gods for it to not unnerve Minhyun. Taewoong removes the pan and separates Minhyun from Taehyun, the shorter guy still glaring at him with piercing eyes promising slaughter and death.

"I'm confused," Jonghyun pips from behind, not a bit concerned.

"WHY IS HE HERE?" Sungwoon screams, jabbing a finger at his eyes.

"Woonie-yah," Taehyun begins, twelve hands needed to calm the human windmill that's Sungwoon, "bitch, would you chill?"

"I'm not your bitch, Hyunnie-yah. Fight me," Sungwoon stops long enough to scowl at Taehyun who doesn't bother to look at him, hands reaching under Sungwoon's knees to pick him up and heaving him over his shoulder."YA FIGHT ME!" Sungwoon flails and intimidates no one, flapping around on Taehyun's shoulder.

"Why is he screaming murder and death?" Jonghyun asks again.

"He's a friend of Jaehwan-ssi's," Taewoong oh-so-generously answers.

"Oh," Jonghyun nods, then does a double take. _"Oh,"_ he aims a concerned stare at the back of Minhyun's head. He can feel it. 

 _"Can I say he's screwed?"_ Jonghyun mouths to Taewoong who shakes his head sharply, still holding onto Minhyun's wrist. Sungwoon stops flailing and starts swearing instead, nasty words streaming out of his mouth. Taehyun jostles him a bit on his shoulder and sighs, both him and Taewoong with heads slumped down and weary shoulders.

"Woonie, I'm going to put you down, but promise me you won't do any dumb shit. I'm too tired," Taehyun murmurs softly to Sungwoon who pinches him and relents, going silent and non-murderous for a solid minute, enough for Jonghyun to step closer Intervention Zone, in case things go sideways.

"I told you two to sleep last night, but no one listened," Sungwoon nags, linking his arm with Taehyun's elbow. Taewoong makes a strangled noise.

"I have a mock case today," he argues.

"Well you need sleep to not drop dead in the case, so boo hoo bitch," the blonde bites back, swinging Taehyun's elbow harshly. "You could've just stayed home. Jae-yah isn't that delicate and neither am I. I could've handled this guy fine."

A jerked thumb and the meanest side-eye from a person under 170 cm. It's deadly. Minhyun shifts aimlessly.

"No violence until I convict someone. He's a friend of Taewoong's," Taehyun murmurs into Sungwoon's hair, eyes closed. Jonghyun flicks his eyes between the two of them and holds up four fingers next to his thigh, judging by the heavy eye bags. 

 _Yeah I thought so too,_ Minhyun nods back imperceptibly.

"Oi, you, tall lanky thing who I should've pushed off the stairs last time we met," Sungwoon squints at him, "kitchen, now."

"I should've just locked the door," Taewoong laments, gathering a crumbled Taehyun who is thrown at him, delicately, because despite the bickering everyone in that kitchen doesn't miss Sungwoon brushing the back of his hand at Taehyun's long fringe, "why."

"It won't take long," Sungwoon waves it off, meaning everything on the spectrum of _it won't take long to kill him_ and _this conversation will not consume a lot of time._

Honestly either option is problematic, but Minhyun is tied by habit and thus he shuffles behind the much shorter blonde.

 

Sungwoon stares at him for a long time, then lets out a breath.

Minhyun counts the seconds when Sungwoon exhales again. Seven.

"I'm sorry," the blond acquiesces, "I was inappropriate in front of you. Please overlook that."

"Uh," Minhyun manages, "I actually don't mind? It's stressful seeing my face nowadays. People cried. There were like four fights in the cafeteria. I completely understand."

The other boy snorts so loud he starts choking on his snort.

"Didn't expect it from you," Sungwoon coughs, fist to his mouth, "you and your Prince of Asia looks."

"You will be shocked actually. I'm a man of many senses of humour. I'm like an onion. Many layers. I make people cry."

Sungwoon rolls his eyes good-naturedly. 

"I bet."

Then the clouds gather.

"I don't mean this to be rude but, can you give Jaehwannie space for a while? I don't know if you know but he has a big fat crush on you and I'm not supposed to tell you this to your face, but since you like someone else, he knew that he should isolate this crush of his and get over you. So for the time being, could you just, keep things the way they were before?  You and the kid never really talked much anyways, so I assume it's fine to ask this of you. Whether or not you want to be acquainted or befriend him, can you hold that thought until it's obvious the child is over his crush? My friend groups operate on the fact that they think you know about the crush which you don't and you're breaking his heart, but," Sungwoon takes in a breath and looks into his eyes, irises amber under morning sunlight filtering through shoddy Venetian blinds, "how can you break something if there's nothing to break?"

Minhyun hears the hopelessness in his voice, the urge to protect Jaehwan clear in Sungwoon's tone. Minhyun hears it all. He can hear the empty thrumming of his veins inside his ears for two whole beat, the truth in what Sungwoon said clearing all the ugly manifestation of something unnecessary in his mind.

He can't be jealous of Jaehwan having relations outside of him because Jaehwan thinks that Minhyun likes someone else. But Minhyun himself doesn't know of it nor does Jaehwan. It's a complicated issue that could've been better off on both their parts by talking it out, but there lies more problems to his dilemma.

The fact that Jaehwan liked him for this shell of Minhyun and nothing else.

And Minhyun cannot further issues by proceeding. If Jaehwan doesn't know who he really is, then what's the point of pursuing something more? Does Jaehwan really know Minhyun to like him romantically?

It's better to just let go.

"Okay I'll stick to my regular schedule. Don't be a stranger when we see each other. Say hi. I'll just check on Woong-hyung now."

Sungwoon watches him leave, tapping a finger under his chin.

 

"Oh good you're alive. Come on, we're getting front seats to the case. Come," Jonghyun pulls on his wrist, phone in the other hand. "I called Minki and Dongho. Someone is dragging Seonho. Move."

"You know you're actually the worst best friend, right?" Minhyun tells him as he's dragged into the car. He passes Sungwoon piling on top of a Taehyun who's dragging his feet behind him, not even budging as an added weight hops onto his back. Only some mild grumbling to a few pinches and Taehyun carries Sungwoon to the car, where Taewoong is presumably waiting.

"They're so cute," Jonghyun giggles to him.

"Calm down gossip auntie," Minhyun pinches him, "don't fangirl over every couple you see."

"Move along or we'll leave you," Taewoong calls out.

 

"Holy shit," Eunki whispers, "so much paper."

Zhengting pats him like the good boyfriend he is, eyes fond and droopy when he's looking over the top of Eunki's head. It's disgusting. 

"Where's Hyunnie-hyung?" Jaehwan asks, separating from the couple who wander along the gallery, Eunki explaining who's coming through the door and their roles in court. Zhengting links fingers with Eunki as they mumble to each other and away from Jihoon and Jaehwan.

Jihoon clings closer to his upper arm, eyes attached to his phone. "Seungie-hyung is telling me everyone split up. He's sitting with Ji-hyung. Tae-hyung is coming soon with Woonie-hyung."

"Where are all the children?" Jaehwan asks, steering away from a fleeing judge with flying wig.

"Food and picking up Seonho," Jihoon squints. "Apparently Daehwi found some earrings that he absolutely must have and he's trying to get Woojinnie to buy them for him."

"Do we want to bet that Jinyoungie will buy them for him?" Jaehwan snorts.

"They're paying as we speak," Jihoon's voice echoes a familiar hollow feeling of utter dismay and disbelief, along the lines of _How whipped are you_ and _I cannot believe you did the thing we were joking about I raised you better than this._

Jaehwan can relate.

They're both gossiping about Jinhwi again when Jaehwan sees Daehwi sprinting at him.

Correction: He feels Daehwi barreling his way before he can hear or see the child. Daehwi is loud. The fact that he can feel his presence before his dolphin pitch greeting is a feat in itself. How are all his children so loud?

Seungwoo from somewhere hollers his name. Four people turn to stare at Jaehwan. Jihoon knocks his forehead on his shoulder.

Ong Seungwoo corrupted his babies. Ong Seungwoo polluted the air. Ong Seungwoo should be dropped in the Arctic to live with the bears so that humanity won't be affected by his corrupted influence. 

Daehwi hops onto his back and by virtue of living with Woojin who throws him as a greeting, Seungwoo who tackles him and Jihoon who loves him by neck chops, Jaehwan accommodates the weight with minimal outright expression of pain, hands coming up to support the child and hoisting him on his back. Jihoon scrams away the minute he sees the blur, dodging to the side and eyeing Daehwi with only mild distaste.

"Hi hyungie," Daehwi nuzzles his hair. "I got new earrings."

"Yeah we know," Jaehwan replies, walking forward.

"Linnie snitched on you," Jihoon pips in helpfully.

"Darn that sweggy rapper," Daehwi declares, not the least bothered. As he should. Guan Lin is dead afraid of Daehwi. Everyone is dead afraid of Daehwi. He has a personal bodyguard in the form of Bae Jinyoung. There are still rumours circulating about how he used to be in an underground martial arts gang and put twenty people in hospital.

"YA YOU DEGENERATE OF SOCIETY I CALLED YOU WHY YOU NO ANSWER BITCH!" Ong Seungwoo hops over a bench of seats. People move out of the way like it's no big deal.

"I did hear you, but there wasn't any imminent deaths and shit so I didn't deem it import-"

"Victoria is harassing Hwang."

Jaehwan throws Daehwi onto Seungwoo, "Hold my baby."

"Hyungie what?" Jihoon calls out after him.

"I thought you were over him?" Ong screeches.

"I WANT TO SEE!" Daehwi's voice rings out.

 

"Please consider it. Our school would benefit so much from you not entering this program," Victoria tells Minhyun, fluttering her eyelashes.

"Why would it benefit the school?" 

"Your participation in itself to the school contributes infinitely to our environment and culture. Look at the improvement of the finances of the student body. There is a tangible difference in your contributions and to seclude yourself away from future participation is cruel to the school."

She knows he can't say no. In a public area such as this, Minhyun has less of a choice. He agrees to talk to her, planning to reprimand her for her earlier actions against Jisung and Jaehwan, but she beat him to it, immediately launching into a speech about why he should not do the Masters program.

"I think that the school will be fine without me. I will have to graduate soon if I was not undertaking a Masters, therefore there's the option of completing my tertiary education," he explains.

Victoria's mouth hangs open.

"But...but I thought you have one more year?"

"I'm finishing by January, which is why I'm considering whether or not I should do my Masters."

"But-"

"Done?" Jaehwan appears by Minhyun's right, eyes hard, a hand on his wrist. The touch burns. "Let's go Minhyun."

"This is not something that you should interfere, Kim-ssi," Victoria flashes sharp teeth.

"I wasn't talking to you," Jaehwan pulls Minhyun away, marching off. Victoria jogs after them.

"Minhyun-ssi-"

"We," Jaehwan flicks his eyes to her, pupils dark, "are not participating in this conversation with you."

She drops back as they walk off, Jaehwan's grip tight on Minhyun's wrist.

 

"Stupid annoying cow who pesters like it's an Olympic sport," Jaehwan grumbles under his breath, dragging the dead weight behind him to a spot where his hand hurts.

"Um," a voice tells him.

Oh fiddlesticks on a melted wax table. Hwang Minhyun looks at him with hauntingly dark eyes and long bangs, lips parted. Maybe to yell at Jaehwan and scream at how he's an eavesdropper and all the nasty names people call Jaehwan given the situation.

 "I was handling the situation fine though?"

"I'm so sorry," he lets go, clapping two hands together, "I saw her moving closer and people weren't helping so I thought I'll just break it off but she really pisses me off and I dragged you without permission is your wrist okay I'm so sorry-"

"It's okay Jaehwan-ssi," Minhyun brushes the tips of his hand that barely glances the protruding bone of Jaehwan's shoulder.

"You know my name?"

"You were drunk and nearly cracked your skull open if I didn't catch you." At Jaehwan's openly panicked expression and the indication of doubt and regret flashing across his eyes, Minhyun brushes his thumb on the tip of his shoulder, whatever that bone is.

"You only told me I carry garbage around and my shoulders look like hangers."

"That's not any better though," _what if I kissed you or some shit_ Jaehwan wants to scream.

"It could've been more unpleasant, but I'm glad it was alright," Minhyun nods, bangs falling into eyes.

"Alright? I'm only alright? Are you implying I'm low quality? I'm the best quality!" Jaehwan's voice rises in pitch and he's hitting the third octave by the time he finishes, but at Minhyun's bark of laughter, breezy and princely and like the sweet summer air of European May, Jaehwan's feeling pretty alright.

"Well, now that you're sober, we can amend that," Minhyun grins at him.

Jaehwan doesn't feel the butterflies when their eyes used to meet before he wrote Never. It's very warm, this feeling inside. Like when he gathers Jihoon and Daehwi in his arms and squeezes them until they punch him in the gut saying it's too tight and they can't breathe. Like when Jisung stays up to talk to him at four in the morning despite having to sit the end of year exam the next day. Like when Jinyoung sneaks him out at night to go to the park to talk about his feelings. Like when Seungwoo and Woojin tackle him down after he graduated school and rolled him on the grass, getting the grass blades everywhere in his hair and down the back of his shirt.

"I'm Kim Jaehwan," he puts out a hand.

"Hwang Minhyun. You seem like the best quality kind of person around here."

"Seriously stop."

Minhyun laughs, throwing his head back.

 

"You know when you called me at deadass two I thought he got crushed by a truck or something because he walked into traffic."

"I'm sorry a broken heart isn't as prioritised in your life as getting maimed by a vehicle."

"He's fine though? Is that Jaehwan-ssi?"

"It appears so, but once again, we don't know."

"All good. What do you want me to do?"

"Exercise your childhood brother prowess."

"Gotchu, boss."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Low quality? Low quality? I'm the best quality!
> 
> There's maybe some light to no friendzoning happening but well, you will hear from me in like three weeks.
> 
> Have a crack at the end guessing who called who and what the point of their conversation is (I was too lazy at this point and I'm like let's just make it seems like a plot device where in fact I was too lazy to tack in descriptions so you can only have dialogues).


	12. Of shampoo-scented hair and a whole new world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back and worse than ever. In this episode I bring you:  
> \- Jinseob?? (please comment if you want more insight)  
> -Minhwan, it's all Minhwan from here on  
> \- Jisung calling all of his dongsaengs his babies and I sobs  
> -Guan Lin suffering is my daily mood  
> -kinda short because I wrote it straight after my exam and I just want to announce that I'm alive  
> \- D R A M A  
> \- interfering friends because I can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I get a bad mark for maths I can always pursue a career as a writer. Please support me friends.
> 
> But on another note, I bring you soft friendships and lots of pining. I'm sorry for any frustrating moments but it's a s l o w o n e this one and any damage on your hearts I can't be accountable for because I too lost like twenty hearts writing this fic. I have more time to write in the future towards the end of the year, so hopefully I can plan this out fast enough to finish it before the year ends. It will all depends on how I manage everything because I am a mess of a human bean and cannot organise my life so don't hold the hope that this will finish soon because I love writing it. For the mean time, please read it a lot and cry with me as I write it and throw me lots of comments.

"Bae Jinyoung is a weak man," Jihoon purses his lips as Daehwi flashes his new dangling earrings for the thirty fifth time in the span of two minutes, "and a nuisance to us law-abiding citizens all."

"You complaining will make my ear fall off, please stop," Guan Lin mumbles, head tilted as far as he can on the bench behind him, too short to accommodate a Lai Guan Lin on any day. Seungwoo manhandles him so that the kid drapes over his shoulder and back, patting the baby softly as he groggily protests against blatant disrespect to his personal space.

"Fucking rude, this kid," Jihoon purses his lips even more.

"Is Jinnie-hyung coming at all? Ji-hyung is participating and it's rare that we haven't-" Daehwi is in mid-speech when the sounds of footsteps equivalent to those of rhinoceros stampede run up the gallery and a Park Woojin, hair freshly dyed in a dark brown shade, collapses across Jinyoung's lap. Daniel jumps, startled. Daehwi allows his childhood friend a minute to catch his breath before throwing himself too at Jinyoung, with Jihoon in between. Seungwoo begins to pet Daniel's cheek fondly after the jump scare, with Guan Lin pretending to throw up on his back. Hyeongseob leisurely strolls after Woojin, bags and jackets draped over his forearm.

"I want a smaller group of friends," Jihoon tells no one.

"I want no friends at all," Guan Lin replies back. Daehwi gasps in affront and Seungwoo nudges him off his back. 

"Hey bub," Hyeongseob nudges him, "cute as ever, I see."

"Stop flirting. Someone might get jealous," Jihoon rolls his eyes. The brunette laughs softly as he hauls the back of Woojin's shirt up.

"Look, I'm not biased," Seungwoo reaches over four people with a long ass Taiwanese on his back to pull at a strand of Woojin's new hair, "but damn baby you look good."

"You are under the sacred laws of brotherhood since birth to say that," Jihoon scoffs.

"Um fucking rude baby face, no one asked your opinion. Woojin, darling, who dyed your hair?"

Woojin lifts his head to mutter a soft and Busan slurred _'What the fuck.'_ Daehwi is more than happy to repeat what he said, once in Korean and once in English, loudly, giggling and clapping. Jinyoung catches him before he careens off to the side.

"I want to dye mine a shade like this too," Seungwoo rolls his eyes like it's obvious. It's not.

"What? _Why?"_ Daehwi wails, hitting Jinyoung and Guan Lin by accident. 

"Your hair is perfect the way it is and I don't understand?" Jihoon tells him.

 _"Hyung no~"_ Daniel curls into Seungwoo whose face bursts with figurative cherry blossom petals, uneven teeth evening themselves, face realigning to become more perfect, stars lining up to create a perfect pattern one after another to spell out on the sky 'I'm whipped for Kang Daniel'. 

"Disgusting," Guan Lin comments. It wasn't needed. Woojin lifts up his head.

"What happened to Jae-hyung?" He pushes himself up, squinting around. "I saw him with Victoria. Hwang Minhyun was with him." 

"Oh shit ye right," Seungwoo propels himself from fondling Daniel's cheek, the boy's face flushed bright pink to the disgusted face of Guan Lin on the side. "We just left him. But I saw Jisung-hyung following them though?"

"Dae," Woojin crooks a finger and Daehwi is out of his seat, standing by the brunette. "Watch my shit. I'll see you later," he pats Hyeongseob's cheek and runs off with Daehwi screaming 'Park Poojin what was that you sleazy asshole?'

"Cute," Jinyoung grins.

"Uh, Woojin?" Guan Lin squints. "Not judging at all, hyung, but isn't Daehwi more your type?"

"No actually I've developed a huge gay crush on Park Poojin. I'll have to fight Hyeongseob in my pursuit of his hand," Jinyoung turns to Hyeongseob who settles into the gallery seat like nothing ever happened, folding Woojin's favourite hoodie inside his own bag. "Fight me, Hyeongseob-hyung."

"Sure, where and when?" The boy replies, grin slicing the corners of his mouth wider when Guan Lin throws up his hands in defeat. Daniel coos over the interaction.

"You know he's playing you, right? No way is this one's type tan and awkward," Jihoon yawns into the back of his hand.

"What do you know?" Guan Lin furrows his brow. It's meant to be a 'How do you know' but the boy's sub-par Korean skill is enough to communicate. No one picks on a foreigner. Or a foreigner baby for that matter.  

"Because I have to listen to him bitch about Lee Daehwi this Lee Daehwi that for four hours straight every week and unless he bitches more about Poojin, which I doubt, he's pretty gay for Daehwi."

"Please date already," Hyeongseob tells Jinyoung.

"You date Woojin. Don't look at me you giant hypocrite," Jinyoung shoves the boy.

 Guan Lin gives a suffering look to Seungwoo.

"Kill me hyung."

"I'll take up that offer," Jihoon steps over Jinyoung's lap to plop down next to Guan Lin. "When? I need an alibi."

"You are one terrifying motherfucker, Babyface Hoon."

"I will literally throw you off this balcony Hong Seungwoo don't test me."

 

Jisung is acting as the counsel's defence, revising through his notes and posture as Victoria Kim runs past the judge's podium, teary-eyed. Counting to five inside his head, he sits up, puts the notes aside and walks outside, letting his eyes sweep across the gallery and any surrounding space. He's giving it five seconds.

By the fourth second he finds Jaehwan and Minhyun huddled near the witness' box, standing a body's space apart. Not even bothering to take off his robe, Jisung power-walks to the pair, to first and foremost checks why Jaehwan is conversing with the guy who supposedly broke his heart.

"But what do you mean people just know how to use fire? Like, prehistoric me wouldn't be that smart. Prehistoric me would be a dumb bitch. Modern me is a dumb bitch I don't even know how to walk properly how do I know what the yellow bright light thing is for?" Jaehwan's voice rings out even though he's whispering, hand gestures flying back and forth, shoulders tensed like whenever he speaks about music. Minhyun, for his part, looks more interested than frightened, a feat in itself for someone who is not accustomed to Jaehwan's spit fire speech since a young age.

"I guess prehistoric people would be very disappointed to know that they evolved this far to be regressed back to primitive stages by people like you," Minhyun shakes his head and Jaehwan freezes. Jisung also stills, astonished and a million other synonyms blending together inside his head next to counter-arguments he thought up for the prosecution. "What a shame, really," Minhyun shrugs, pursing his lips.

"You fucking bully!" His baby Jae screeches, swinging fists around. The distance marginally shortens under Jisung's scrutiny, maybe not obvious enough for those two to notice, but to Jisung who took psychology to help with his criminal law major, knows that the shortened distance means there's a sign of trust mixed into the conversation, eliminating alienation and other untrustworthy vibes to bring physical closeness. 

Hwang Minhyun. He wouldn't have guessed. Jaehwan's constant praise and borderline stalkerish obsession with the university's Number One Heartthrob is a collective burden shared by their friend group (Jisung refuses to call his babies 'merry band of holy brothers', much to Seungwoo's whining), to which many of them don't know who Hwang Minhyun is outside of Jaehwan's gossip about him. Doing law, he knows that facts are twisted in any conceivable way to achieve a desirable outcome, so he did try to keep an open perspective about the boy, hearing snippets of and about the Number One Bachelor without Jaehwan's input, to gain perspective. He doesn't care much who Minhyun is or seems to be at the end of the day, only because his baby is involved. He cares that Jaehwan risks his own heart in attaining someone, up until that moment, all of them are adamant on not aware that Jaehwan exists. Hearing one witty comeback doesn't validate an entire character of a person (except if you're Jihoon, Guan Lin or Taehyun - their comebacks compartmentalised their personalities in a few lines and it's only borderline terrifying), but it tells Jisung beyond what Jaehwan gushes about. For sure, Hwang Minhyun knows that Kim Jaehwan exists and that he doesn't have a princely aura or anything resembling it - he's just a sarcastic boy mucking around with a friend.

Somehow that reassures Jisung more than the stately descriptions Jaehwan draws up and builds over the months. It's pushing 20. He's been tallying.

"Oh shit there he is!" Woojin's voice rings out from behind him. Jisung, by some miracle by god or pure instincts from handling four children efficiently before the age of 18, grabs both Daehwi and Woojin in a neck hold, swinging the three of them the other direction, mouth firmly over Woojin's ear.

"They're being civil. Don't interrupt."

"Is that Hwang Minhyun?" Daehwi tries to look. Woojin makes a strangled chook sound, craning his head. Jisung firmly turns both of their heads away, aware that there are people whispering and pointing at their trio, huddling together.

"Yes it is Hwang Gellyang. I think Jae-yah succeeded in batting Victoria away because she was crying rivers of mascara down her face five minutes ago. The situation should be left to Jaehwan to deal by himself. Do not interfere. Tell Jihoon that. And Seungwoo." At the boys' reluctance to meet his eyes, Jisung jostles them. Two pairs of wide, kicked puppy eyes meet his. "Yeobo, it's not your life. Let him handle it however he wants. You've sheltered him enough. He's a big boy. Let him go."

"You sound like you're putting your dog down," Daehwi begins to whine. Woojin scrunches his face in disgust but offers his shoulder for the younger boy to sniff on, wrinkling his nose at the potential snot leaking onto his jacket. 

"But can I like, threaten him-" Woojin begins.

"No."

"Just a shove, though, hyu-"

"Woojin-ah," Jisung sighs, "no is no, baby. Let it go." 

Woojin's lips curl and sit on a pouting expression. Effective only to Ahn Hyeongseob, Ong Seungwoo and occasionally Hong Eunki. Jisung knows the boy for at least five years running. It doesn't work on him.

"Hyung did you know I got new earrings?" Daehwi springs up suddenly, said earrings dangling from his ears. "Jinyoung-hyung bought them for me."

"They suit you Dae-yah," Jisung smiles and gleans two fingers across an earlobe. Daehwi giggles giddily, swinging his head. Jisung turns to stare at Woojin. There's something different about the boy.

"You dyed your hair," he notes. His brunette baby shuffles his feet, not meeting his eyes. "No, no darling, it looks great. Who did it for you?"

"Hyeongseobbie."

 _"I fucking knew it,"_ Daehwi gasps from the side.

"Language, Daehwi," he scolds, no heat behind it. At this rate, no child of his will not swear before the age of 16. It's distressing. 

"Sorry mum," Daehwi ducks his head, not a bit apologetic. 

"It's a much better job than your red hair, baby," Jisung thumbs a strand of hair, soft and smelling like Ahn Hyeongseob's mint shampoo. The child is either subtly territorial by marking Woojin with his signature shampoo scent or just plain nice by offering free shampoo after what most likely is his newest obsession with hair dye, with Woojin being the nearest target. "Tell him he's done a great job."

"Okay, I will eomma," Woojin mumbles.

"Now go. My trial is starting. No one is sleeping through it," he pushes them though he knows all of the boys are too fond of him to even contemplate napping through another dry trial. This is to Guan Lin who treasures his naps like his hoarded gold, staring wide-eyed at Jisung's last trial. It's a beautifully reciprocated relationship. Jisung is never prouder of his boys.

"No one ever sleeps through any of your trials, like, ever," Daehwi points out, giving him a loud kiss on the nose. Jisung rubs the blonde's chin fondly, twice, before pulling Woojin into a customary hug, tapping the back of his neck once before letting go, both boys sprinting back to the reserved seats by the rest of his children. Choi Taewoong stands to the side of the judge's seat, murmuring something to a tall boy before striding over to Jisung, dark eyes not revealing his purpose.

"Jisung-ssi," he bows, a respectful distance from him. Blinks twice, slowly. "We're good to start."

"Thank you, Taewoong-ssi," he breathes out softly. Taewoong's rigid posture relaxes. Jisung can understand. Law stressed him out on an hourly basis. Walking in a law court with the knowledge of an incoming trial, mock or not, tenses him from inside. 

"Hey," Jisung steps in closer, "breathe."

"What do you think I'm doing, Jisung-ssi?" Taewoong's face shifts to the left, the corner of his lips tilted. Jisung's own mouth mirrors the boy and his eyes scrunch up in what the children call his trademark 'eye smile'. Taewoong laughs, a half breath half air, eyes mirroring Jisung's own. It's ridiculous - two guys in robes, scrunching their eyes at each other. Jisung smothers down the urge to smile wider until his mouth splits into halves, eyes stretched until he can't anymore. Taewoong shows no signs of stopping either and Jisung takes one step forward and puts a hand on the boy's arm to steer him away from the whispering Minhyun + Jaehwan duo behind them.

Taewoong opens his eyes in surprise at the contact, but obediently walks where Jisung guides him, eyes tracking his every movement. Jisung's hand doesn't leave his arm until they've separated into their opposing roles, Taewoong whispering a soft 'I'll win this case' to him.

"I'd like to see you try, Taewoong-ssi," he whispers back.

It's brief, but there was a flash of a smile. But who is Jisung to say?

 

Yoo Seonho climbs the stairs two steps at a time, feet nimble. Minki and Jonghyun already left to reserve seats for the rest of them to arrive. Minhyun is walking up the gallery from another stairs, post-conversation with Jaehwan, eyes smiling even from twenty rows of seats away. Seonho is ecstatic for his hyung, he really is, but this mess that quite frankly could be resolved through a simple 'hey I think I'm obsessed with you please date my sad loser ass?' but it's Hwang Minhyun, Complicater of Matter that Shouldn't Be Complicated. He would make digging a hole a difficult task.

"Hey hyungie," Seonho throws himself at the tall guy, clinging. "Buy me food~!"

"Shameless, these young 'uns," Minki rolls his eyes. It can be heard from wherever he is.

"Okay Seonho-yah," Minhyun laughs.

 _Kim Jaehwan,_ Seonho offers a quick apology, _I think I'm either going to screw you over or help you with this, so, please, have my prayers. I'm going to open up hyungie's eyes because he's blind so if that's going to affect whatever weird dynamic you have with him I'm sorry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was serious about the comments. They keep me alive. Feed my depraved artist's soul.
> 
> Fun fact: Apparently if you mirror someone's body language it shows that you're interested in them and I only have couple of words for this fact:
> 
> Jisung and Taewoong mirroring each other's body language
> 
> Boom.


	13. Of sacrificing dignities and brotherhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tomorrow," Hyeongseob fixes Woojin's leather jacket, pulling on the lapels. "Bye Poojin."
> 
> Woojin looks like someone just granted him free access to the buffet that the culinary school nearby organises once every six months and he can eat meat all night, chasing after Hyeongseob's back with his hands until Daehwi slaps them.
> 
> "MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!" Seungwoo chants, straying too close to a cultish chant for blood. Jaehwan joins in, adding a much higher and pterodactyl pitch to accompany the satanic ritual Seungwoo is aiming towards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I died for ages but I am here now and I bring you some stuff.
> 
> I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I AM DOING

Seonho sticks close to Minhyun, but that's nothing new. Whenever the child has a chance to visit, he would automatically become an extension of Minhyun's body. After three months of vigorous and various methods of removal, Minhyun's fan clubs gave up on Seonho who seemingly rip apart and dance around any restrictions others set for him. Chattering excitedly about the trial which Taewoong is acing at - that evidence? Phenomenal. Everyone is stunned to silence, even the defence counsel who has trouble keeping his jaw shut.

"Ooh he's good," Minki slaps his thigh.

"Did you bet on him," comes Minhyun's dry reply. It wasn't a question.

"No! God no!" Minki fervently replies, clasping a hand over his heart. "Why would I? What's the point? His success rate is 99.9%. He only lost one case, and that was the first week of law school."

"How much?" Seonho asks, curious.

Minki's mouth slips. He mumbles something.

 _"One hundred thousand won?"_ Jonghyun almost slides off his seat. "Jesus Effing Christ Choi, one hundred grand."

"I don't even know what one hundred grand looks like in real life. Does that kind of money exist?" Seonho wonders aloud. Minhyun turns his head towards Taehyun's direction who smiles briefly before resuming his 'judge' face, deeming it unnecessary to answer.

No one mention anything, but Minhyun's eyes did trace a certain brunette from the back of his head. Minki and Seonho exchange a glanced-through conversation.

 _Ew._ Seonho cringes with his entire body.

 _I know._ Minki rolls his eyes. _So obvious._

 

 

"I WANT A PHOTO!" Screeches Seungwoo, with Daniel holding him off from behind. _"PHOTO!"_

Woojin gives him a look that spells out _you need help and you need it a.s.a.p._

"You get a photo with him every time he finishes though," Daehwi reminds him, hanging off Woojin's arm who's trying very hard to not fling the blonde child away to the nearest victim. Debating it for a while, he endures it, face scrunched up in a mixture of pain and regret, with a tinge of _I didn't ask for this._

"That's because hyung looks hot in the robes. Let me appreciate him in his prime in peace, please," Seungwoo dismisses him and throws himself at Jisung who strides down the alley with a stack of documents and a trolley still up next to his table up near the front.

"Go ahead without me I have to put all of this away," Jisung passes them, grazing Hyeongseob in a cheek kiss. "I'll see you all at the diner place."

"Guan Lin has a thing," Jihoon tells him, already pushing the boy away, "see you later!"

"Tomorrow," Hyeongseob fixes Woojin's leather jacket, pulling on the lapels. "Bye Poojin."

Woojin looks like someone just granted him free access to the buffet that the culinary school nearby organises once every six months and he can eat meat all night, chasing after Hyeongseob's back with his hands until Daehwi slaps them.

"MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!" Seungwoo chants, straying too close to a cultish chant for blood. Jaehwan joins in, adding a much higher and pterodactyl pitch to accompany the satanic ritual Seungwoo is aiming towards.

"We'll only get meat if you'll split the bills," Daniel's voice perks up.

Seungwoo deflates like a popped balloon.

"I'll give you one clap, for that ruthless management," Woojin puts a hand in solemn admiration on Daniel's shoulders who look elsewhere like he hasn't realised he'd done damage to Seungwoo's perpetual hunger for meat. It's ridiculous. His childhood brothers stray away from sleeping near him because at some point in their unfortunate interaction with him, Ong had chewed on a body part of theirs once. Or twice, in Woojin's case. Or five times in one night in Jihoon's case.

"I'll see where Minhyun is," Jaehwan scans around, "let's invite him to lunch."

Daehwi immediately flaps his sweater paws soundlessly but in very wide, cheerleading-y circles. Daniel mouths something to him and they begin a ridiculous and dramatic charade, with Woojin trying to find out what's wrong with them and what are they trying to say.

Daehwi throws up his hands and makes a rude gesture at his childhood friend. Woojin enunciates a loud 'fuck you' to him, with both glaring at each other nonstop.

Jinyoung sighs and points to where Minhyun and his squad was sitting. The seats are empty.

Seungwoo immediately collars Jaehwan and blabbers about buying the guy lots of meat. Jaehwan tries craning his head, still holding hope for Minhyun being there. Jinyoung also pushes him from behind, hustling him out the door with the other three toddling behind, Seungwoo's chatter zoning out Jaehwan's inquiries about why they had to leave suddenly.

 

"I think I forgot something," Minhyun's leg starts tapping. "What did I forget?"

"Pills?" Seonho asks. 

"I took them this morning. I remembered," Minhyun can't help himself but retract all the steps he took in that one busy morning. He's positive he took the pills, but the voice in his head is telling him he didn't and he's already standing up to leave, anxious to check the bottle of medicine at his dorm to control his spiralling thoughts.

"Oi, Hyunnie, Hyunnie what," Minki whisper-shouts after Minhyun takes off. Seonho chases after him. "Not you too Yoo."

"Should we," Jonghyun gestures to Taewoong, doing his Prosecutor Thing with his I'm Suing Your Ass To Prison Voice, fingers twitching like he's not too sure what gestures are there to convey the sheer weirdness of the situation, "leave?"

"And text hyung saying 'I'm sorry I bailed out on you one of us had a mini crisis and had to go check and I being the considerate asshole decides he's more important than you are even though we have an unspoken promise to attend every one of your lawyer suing session'?" 

Minki doesn't even take a breath. Jonghyun is more horrified than fascinated.

"Okay, crazy idea, but," he drapes his jacket over Minki's shoulder, "you go after Minhyun. I'll stay and explain to hyung. I made the unspoken oath anyways. You and Seonho do something about Minhyun."

Minki blinks like he hasn't thought of that, backing away slowly then completely taking off after Seonho's long legs. Jonghyun sighs, pulling out his phone to text Dongho about the situation. 

God it's like he signed up for three children instead of one and Taewoong isn't there enough to properly mother him with them.

Dongho's reply text is a thumbs up. Jonghyun puts his phone away.

 

"It doesn't make sense," Jaehwan holds Daehwi's hands whose pupils shake for some unfathomable reasons, "why would he ditch even though I mentioned lunch? Where are his friends?"

Before anyone can deem a response that is appropriate (and not scathing to the delicate mental state of one Kim Jaehwan), one salty snaggletooth bean Woojin shrugs a cruel.

"Think they left for some stuff. Probably important."

 _You idiot_. Daehwi mouths at him. They settle into their seats. Seungwoo and Daniel take turns pinching Woojin under the table, Seungwoo whispering ominous things like _'I'll starve you you demon dinosaur child spawn of darkness.'_

Daehwi pats Jaehwan on the back lightly, alternating between cursing out Woojin and nodding at what Jaehwan is sharing. It's been two minutes of Jaehwan repeating the same things over and over again, face sad like someone kicked Guan Lin in front of his face and the tall child doubled over in pain, helpless and neither one of them can rescue the situation.

Daehwi meets Jinyoung's eye. A clear **sorry** is enunciated.

"Yes Jinyoung-hyung and I are dating," Daehwi slaps a palm onto the table, rattling the crockery. It was profound. A glass wobbles and Jaehwan dives to catch it, hugging it to his chest.

No one say anything. Woojin almost bends a fork when he hears 'dating' and 'Daehwi' in one sentence. Ong drops a piece of napkin, mouth not closing. Jaehwan and Sungwoon eerily cease all speech, eyes testing the limits of how far a human eye can stretch.

Jinyoung chokes so loud Daehwi has to stoop back down to check on him, palms slamming into his shoulder blades loudly.

 _"You what?"_ Seungwoo swallows first. He made those two words sound like _You stole Daniel under my own naked eyeballs._

"When?" Sungwoon demands. "Since. God. Damn. When."

Jinyoung looks up and meets Daehwi's eyes. Apparently his wide-eyed look conveyed a message because the brunette (also his boyfriend for the now - expiry yet to be determined), pulls him on a seat and plasters on a sincere smile.

"For a while. We realised this was a horrible time to tell you guys," as Woojin hacks out a disbelieving cough, "but Dae's been itching to and he had to tell it otherwise the campus might end up knowing."

This is not a lie. Daehwi cannot keep a secret under wraps. A secret told to the blonde is a time bomb waiting for a messy explosion. It's not his fault - he's a social butterfly and he wears his heart on his mouth. Whatever upsets Daehwi everybody knows, just as when somebody has a secret somebody, if not everybody, knows. 

"You sneaky little bastards," Jaehwan takes in a breath. Daniel's eyes follow his every movement. "Congrats."

There is a collective exhale.

"I don't approve," Sungwoon remains stubborn, seeing as Daehwi and him knew each other from some place or another from Long Ago. "Nuh uh don't even try to sweet talk me, mister," he dives away as Jinyoung scoots closer to him. "Leave, you small face demon."

"You love him," Jaehwan jeers. A lettuce leaf flies at him.

"What did we miss?" Jisung and Taewoong appear at their table, Taewoong mysteriously carrying both his things and Jisung's. Ong and Jaehwan give equally shit-eating grins at them, Jisung rolling his eyes at them but not denying anything.

"I'm dating Daehwi," Jinyoung stares at Jisung dead in the eye.

"Great. Has everyone eaten?" Jisung dismisses it and sits down, next to Jinyoung. Jaehwan turns to listen to what Daehwi is whispering to him about, the child threatening to smear sauce onto the front of his nice shirt, the one he loots from Jisung's closet. 

Jinyoung mutters a low and rapid, _"We're sacrificing our dignities to distract Jae-hyung. Minhyun-ssi didn't come with him for lunch."_

 _"And here I was thinking maybe one of you finally acted on your pining,"_ Jisung whispers back. Jinyoung rears back, gasp inaudible on his lips.

"You look betrayed," Sungwoon points his chopsticks as Jinyoung burrows into his shoulder, "that was not an invitation to get clingy with me, demon."

Nonetheless he lets Jinyoung cling onto his arm.

 

"Ew," Seonho wrinkles his nose, "hyung I'm allergic to fast speed. Slow down."

"How can someone be allergic to -" Minki sighs, loudly, "that's not a real allergy, kid."

Minhyun doesn't pay them any mind, long legs keep moving faster and faster.

"Hyung," Seonho calls out, "about Jaehwan-ssi."

Minhyun stops. Turns. Minki meanwhile starts to flag down anything Seonho says, dancing the Macarena next to the kid.

"Do you like him?" Seonho takes a step forward.

"I don't know," is Minhyun's reply.

"What's the point of doing this to yourself, obsessing even more when you are already on medication for it, when you can just let it go?"

"Seonho-yah-"

"Minki-hyung he has to hear this," Seonho shakes the hand on his elbow off. Takes another step.

"What's the point of hurting yourself even more over someone who you don't know reciprocate your feelings? Why?"

"I don't know," Minhyun's replies, voice hollow, "I don't know."

"Then know. Don't do this to yourself. Screw Kim Jaehwan. You torturing yourself makes me upset. You're a brother to me. I love you. You need to love yourself, not others. You don't need to love others to love yourself," Seonho's eyes are teary. "Please stop this."

"Oh?" Dongho walks up to them with a bag of food reinforcements, "back again? Hyunnie, you already took your pills this morning, don't worry about it."

MInki stares between Minhyun and Seonho.

"Leave us," Seonho whispers to them, "please."

Minki latches onto Dongho's arm and drags him away.

 

"I don't know how to," Minhyun admits, voice soft, "either I obsess over him or I obsess over everything else."

"I'll help you, hyung," Seonho takes his hand, "I'll help you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WILL (MAYBE) GO ON A HIATUS FOR A BIT AND WILL RETURN IN FEBRUARY FOR ANY OF YOU WHO ARE INTERESTED. IT'S THAT I AM SWAMPED WITH THE LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL AND I HAVE LIKE FOUR OTHER FICS TO WRITE ON TOP OF THIS ONE PLEASE UNDERSTAND


	14. Of the quiet hour before the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taewoong is handing out food when his phone rings. Excusing himself from the table, he picks up, the alarm tone for Jisung obvious to the rest of his dorm.
> 
> "Hello?"
> 
> "Does Minhyun happen to care who Hwannie dates or goes on dates with?"
> 
> Taewoong's exhale must've answered that question because Jisung's tone picks up in urgency, cut off sentences next to his ear.
> 
> "-ssi - sung - Jisung-ssi," the noises stop, "what's wrong?"
> 
> "I don't think he'll take Jaehwan's dates with Seongri very well."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that was a long break. I was originally going to delay this as much as possible, but there is nothing to do so I might as well update. There is actually no planning involved in any of the things I write (which I should, but I don't), so if there's anything that is weird and off, just holler so that I can address those.
> 
> Actually the smallest chapter because I feel like this should be out before the climax hits

Eunki doesn't usually do the whole knocking gig. One door was demolished on his stubborn conquest to get to Sungwoon's room (there was much yelling, people were rushing out of their dorms with their clothes inside out, Sungwoon was naked in the showers, doors thrown open too freely and Taehyun arrived to Eunki being towel-whipped into the next month by a small Sungwoon). His friends got together one night when he was out watching an excitingly gay play with Seongri, and devised a plan so that another Sungwoon wielding one shampoo bottle in one hand and another towel in another, yodelling stark naked like the cowboy he isn't won't be a recurring experience, especially with the children being adopted into their circles.

Eunki was then given a key and a very serious warning of 'text before you drop by so we can keep our doors open for you' which he generally ignores, but bless his friends for existing, for they always seem to creepily know where he is approximately, with the accuracy rate of around 9/10 cases. Zhengting gave up at some point and put a tracker on his boyfriend, ages ago, so that whenever the Eunki dot on his GPS wanders near the merry band of brothers' places he rings one of them up and pre-warn them.

Sometime Jisung gives him cookies when he drops by Zhengting's dorm. Sometimes Ong buys him free food. Sometimes Woojin thanks him for existing. It's the small thoughts that count.

"Hello!" He barges into Seongri's dorm. "I scored you a date."

"I don't need one," is the reply.

"Too bad. There are no strings attached. You are going."

"Eunki-yah, seriously, does no mean anything-"

"Help out Jaehwannie. He's sad. He mopes a lot. Some days I have to buy him more sweet things than my wallet can afford to. Please help your local friend out," Eunki whips out the Superior Puppy Eye look, lethal to anyone. Seongri knows full well of this and tries not to make eye contact with his friend, to no avail. He's being cornered, in his own home, without warning from anyone else (though he suspected they plotted this behind his back) and Eunki is forcing him to interact with people.

"Will you leave me alone if I do that?" He finds himself asking.

"Absolutely!" Eunki springs back up and dusts himself free of Seongri-germs. "Glad we came to an agreement!"

Seongri doesn't regret more than he repent for his sins in the past life to be stuck with this creature as a friend.

 

Jaehwan, although pleasantly pleased that Jinhwi is now one less couple he needs to stress over. Guan Lin doesn't stop reminding him that he had now assumed the role of matchmaker on their campus holistically and he complains that he's not, but he is now loitering in front of practice room number 7 where Woodam, the four octave Mansae guy who shattered five champagne flutes one rainy day all the singing kids got stuck in one lecture hall together, to strategically proposition him into a date with one Woo Jinyoung. How one guy who looks like he breathes out pure oxygen and bathes in the elixir of life has the affection of the guy who owns more eyeliner than all the girls combined on campus and has the attitude of a white 50s boy in the Grease musical is a mystery. You can't choose who you like, Jisung likes to say, as he moons over whatever silent gesture Taewoong did that day. Jaehwan had given up on ascertaining what is happening with those two. The courtship rituals are frankly too obscure and ancient for him to care. He's not on Taewoong Watch today. That's Woojin's roster. He'll worry about it when he gets there.

Woodam is accosted and accepts the invitation for food as easily as one would expect of a perpetually starving university student. Waving goodbye and texting one-handed to Jinyoung 'it's done bro', he turns a corner to pick up Hyeongseob, as they have their scheduled brunch. The owner waves at him as he pushes the door, phone furiously typing Hyeongseob as the child misses their rendezvous. Hyeongseob has the navigational skills of a lost duck. He cannot find his directions. He sucks at walking. He cannot-

"Jae," Kim Seongri salutes him with a one finger gesture to his temple, "sit."

Jaehwan now knows why Hyeongseob is leaving him on read for more than 2 minutes. The sneaky little thing.

"Hi," he pulls out the chair, "I've been set up."

"So have I, it seems," Seongri sips on whatever drink he ordered with the face of a man who had gone through world wars and Hong Eunki growing up and too much Eunki in his general vicinity. "How you doing?"

"Not dead, unfortunately," he shrugs. Seongri swallows a snort.

"I'm paying, so order something. I want to talk about this choir project Sungwoon-hyung and I cooked up the other week. Could use some help from you."

 

"Is that Seongri?"

"Is that Jaehwan?"

"O-M-G are they dating?"

"I think so, yeah. Let's take some photos! Hurry hurry!"

 

Taewoong is handing out food when his phone rings. Excusing himself from the table, he picks up, the alarm tone for Jisung obvious to the rest of his dorm.

"Hello?"

"Does Minhyun happen to care who Hwannie dates or goes on dates with?"

Taewoong's exhale must've answered that question because Jisung's tone picks up in urgency, cut off sentences next to his ear.

"-ssi - sung - Jisung-ssi," the noises stop, "what's wrong?"

"I don't think he'll take Jaehwan's dates with Seongri very well."

 

"Lai," Seonho nods, "sup?"

"Yoo," Guan Lin sighs, "what are you doing?" _Why are you here, in front of my university._

"Walk with me. I want to discuss your Jaehwan-hyung."

"No thank you," Guan Lin falls back, "whatever is happening with that I want no part in it. He's coping fine. He doesn't need help or problems."

"Minhyun-hyung," Seonho's words tell him, "is - not doing so fine."

"Tell your Minhyun-hyung," Guan Lin doesn't turn his head, "to fuck off. Preferably from Jaehwan's life. We don't need him there. Jaehwan doesn't need him there."

"Guan Lin seriously you have to-"

"I let him make all these stupid ass decisions and he's barely acting out a lie. It needs to stop. I don't care about your Minhyun. Just tell him to leave my hyung alone. Leave. Go. Don't bother us again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a link. Please support me -> http://ko-fi.com/jarofactonbell


	15. Of things falling apart and together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey ditcher." Jaehwan grins, all pretenses stripped back. This is Minhyun, his snarky friend among many. He can do this. 
> 
> "Sorry, that was dodgy of me." Minhyun shifts, crossing his hands together. "How are things?"
> 
> "Good. Manageable. How are you? It's been radio silent from your end."
> 
> "Yeah, I'm bad with keeping in touch and such. I don't use my phone a lot. I should, but I'm not. I'm just terrible at social media." He wrings his hands in embarrassment.
> 
> "Well, you must text or something, right? How do your friends get to you? Telepathy? Telegrams? Pigeon mail?" A corner of Jaehwan's mouth twitches and it makes Minhyun snorts a little in amusement. There's a bit of head shaking.
> 
> "They text, but I respond to calls." He looks down. Jaehwan doesn't let himself anticipate. Waits with no expectations. The light shutters off and on.
> 
> "Can I have your number next time this happens? I can explain and not leave you hanging for two weeks straight."
> 
> Jaehwan doesn't have expectation. He caves in. Slips Minhyun that bit of vulnerability and information. 
> 
> "Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOO SO I'M BACK NOW SORRY THAT WAS A MASSIVE BREAK I TOOK I WAS WRITING A LOT AND SCHOOL WAS BEING CRUEL AND I'M NOT CUT OUT FOR EDUCATION RIP ME
> 
> BUT GOOD AND BAD NEWS DEPENDS ON HOW YOU'LL SEE IT:  
> \- I have now planned out everything I need to do and hopefully this project will draw to a close at 18 or 19 chapters  
> \- Yeah that's all my news but I feel like some of you will go FINALLY and some will just straight up SCREMS YOU CANT LEAVE US JUST YET  
> \- Please forgive me  
> \- Worst case scenario I'll end it on December 31st // best case scenario it'll be done in September so we'll have to see

Guan Lin comes back, considerably more tousled than he is normally. Jisung passes a hand through his hair, a silent look at his forehead. Lines are appearing on his face, wrinkles too rare to witness on an otherwise stone-cold face.

"What happened?"

"I happened. It's...I don't know, I think I mucked up some stuff. Told Minhyun's friend to piss off from Jae-hyung. Was being a general asshole."

Jisung doesn't blame him or start a screaming tournament. He continues to card his fingers through Guan Lin's hair.

"All in good intentions, kid. We'll explain to Jae later if things blow out of proportions but right now let's just keep it where it is, yeah? No one will blame you. You shouldn't as well."

Guan Lin heads to his room. Turns his head back.

"Out of all the guys he could like, why Minhyun?"

"It's actually," Jisung's face does this thing, "I don't know. Sit down. I'll tell you."

 

"So I might've fucked shit up," Seonho confesses to Jonghyun, the older boy barely had time to fully understand who he is and where he's at. Holding up a palm to stop Seonho's inevitable tirade, he steadies himself on his feet and reestablishes his identity, purpose and favourite bubble tea flavour. 

"Okay now go," he puts down his palm.

"Remember that whole pill episode?"

Jonghyun's face tells him all he needs to know. Everybody remembers the pill episode very vividly. The fact that Seonho who Minhyun would willingly cut an arm for quite literally triggered an outburst in high anxiety and recurring symptoms of obsessiveness, for the foolish purpose of discouraging Minhyun from projecting his anxiety onto a source that is outside of their friend circle. Truth be told, Jonghyun hadn't dwelled into this matter that deep to be able to make judgement regarding on who's right or wrong, but from both ends there are multiple threads that are tangled and binded together and Seonho quite frankly just severed a few crucial ones, like Minhyun's disappearing social phobia. He meant well, the child, but now he had broken Minhyun and crippled him so much that he needs to lean on the five of them and additionally Taewoong, to be able to hobble. It hurts to see Minhyun revert to the overtly anxious kid they all knew back in high school, prone to so many panic attacks that Jonghyun and Dongho received special permission from the school to leave classes and tend to him. But he understands that it must've hurt Seonho too, seeing his childhood friend aimlessly throwing himself away at anything that catches his passing fancy, only for the thing to be either discarded or Minhyun be hurt from overexposure. There had been quite a number of relapses into severe withdrawal, of plunging moods and dissociating thoughts. Those rendered Minhyun just as crippled as he is now, each time worse than the last, until now, where he's seemingly at his worst. Minhyun has a stupid habit of listening wholeheartedly whenever negative things are told to him by the people closest to him. After Seonho rightfully implied, said, screamed, whatever that Jaehwan will definitively forget and discard Minhyun as he had discarded many things in his life, he had earnestly listened and believed in the words, despite the facts pointing towards a clear No. Seonho too is terrible whenever Minhyun is involved, claiming and burdening all responsibilities on his shoulders, which is admirable, for sure, but not beneficial for Minhyun. Problems aside, he should be given a choice in deciding his life. Seonho can't go around protecting him and making decisions for him infinitely. The split to university had broken that for a period of time, where Minhyun experienced normal anxiety associated with confronting social situations, but he's learning and he's improving without Seonho helicoptering around his life 24/7. The kid means well, but ... too much of something can kill. In this case, it killed Minhyun's independence and autonomy. But Minhyun himself is in some faults too. Clearly his head retained some trauma leftover from all the previous fiasco, a big neon sign in the foreground screaming HEY YOU GOT HURT HOW ABOUT YOU AVOID THE HURTING THING, enough for him to veer away from Jaehwan. But Minhyun persisted, despite the obvious drama and unnecessary labour that come with his pursuit to be closer to Jaehwan. He gave enough warning signs for multiple people to contact Seonho in a relatively small time frame, in varying degrees of distress and agony. No one shamed Seonho for intervening, but just the extent of intervention. Crushing Minhyun is not an intervention. That's just ... a direct opposite of an intervention. That's just a reversal down the pit of despair. 

Jonghyun then tries to compartmentalise all of this into succinct sentences but he can't, he's doing international politics, there are specialists who do these things for him. He's supposed to only speak the fed words. Seonho allows him to properly formulate a response, face completely understanding his struggles.

"I would like to take this opportunity to say that you should talk to Minhyun and explain things to him. Get him to listen. Fight him, wrestle him out of bed, take him to swimming, I'm not too sure what is it that can make him happy now because I'm rarely at home and you are always here. Distract him from his thoughts. But most importantly," he puts a solemn palm on Seonho's shoulder, "let him decide. Don't make decisions for him."

Seonho opens and closes his mouth, sucking on the back of his teeth. Jonghyun times it. One second. Now two. Drops his hand. Nods to Seonho. Walks to class.

Gets a text from Dongho. 

_so why's seonho at our door screaming for minhyun?_

Doesn't reply. Hopes for the best.

 

Everybody and their bed frames have, by then, heard and knew and began commissioning reactionary art pieces to JAERI. Seongri and Jaehwan's ship name, as one Dahyun squealed at Seongri and Jaehwan one fine day, outside of their class.

"Please date!" She screamed as she passed by.

"Please what?" Jaehwan screamed back.

"Who?" Seongri chimed in.

But she was already gone, with the wind, further away from them.

 

There was also the banners. The banners were everywhere. People stitched them, printed them, painted them, mass produced them. Daehwi dumped a good armful on Jaehwan's lap a few times and Seongwoo had adopted the hobby of running around the dorm and pretending he's a professional rhythmic gymnast. Except that he isn't and he tripped 10 out of 10 times onto Guan Lin who did nothing to deserve this treatment. Jisung had attained the supernatural ability to dodge Seongwoo on hearing his imminent footsteps. Jaehwan? Jaehwan is too busy creating his three-person acapella crew with Sungwoon and Seongri. He slept for a week at Sungwoon and Taehyun's. He's barely aware of Ong and his antics until he had to catch a falling body when he opened the door on the odd days that he return back to his cave to get clothes.

"This is ridiculous," he had declared, at some point, somewhere, "why is this happening to me?"

"Jaeri is powerful," Jinyoung helpfully observed, "it's like it's alive, all by itself."

"I support Jaeri," Daehwi was there too, Jinhwi attached at the hips, two halves and one body, "I would die for Jaeri."

"Calm down there, baby peanut," Jaehwan dismissed the child, "you're too young to be discussing deaths near me and my wholesome salad mix. Tell you what though," he put his chin in his hand.

Jinyoung froze, sensing danger. Sharp, that one. Daehwi froze too.

"I'll make a public appearance with Seongri-hyung if you little chits get it inside your head that you're not fooling anyone," there was a big moment of 'Oops now we gotta confess that we've been fake dating to cover up some lies'. "You're pretending to fake date, but it's getting realer by the day. Do us all and yourselves a favour and just confess."

Daehwi's mouth was open, ready to protest and bring up his 54 defences. Jinyoung kept quiet.

"I'm off. Be nice to each other. I have an Ong Seungwoo," he held Jinyoung's eyes and Daehwi's. "Bye bye babies, I better hear good things!"

(He paid the check, but it's a good price for romance. JAERI stopped trending on the university Facebook page after someone, probably Sooyoung and Seungwan, snapped a selfie and posted it on the page, only for the entire campus to blow up because Holy Marinated Chicken Is That Daehwi Holding Hands With Baejin I See? Comments were made. Questions were asked. Hyeongseob ran at Jaehwan to find out that he forced the two together and the hashtag #MatchMakingGodJaehwan trended after #jinhwitherealotp. 

"You know this just reinforced your rising Cupid status and image right?" Guan Lin threw a jacket at him.

"They are my babies though, I care if it's them. The campus can talk, but I care more about my babies being happy," he beamed brilliantly.

"As long as it makes you happy," the tall child mumbled back.

"I am happy," he stressed.

"Okay, hyung.")

 

"Apparently," Jisung smiles, "they met when Jaehwan first came in late for class. Minhyun didn't have a class so he was waiting for Minki, I think. Dedicated. Jaehwan barrelled into him, nearly split his head open on the wall. Minhyun caught him. Told him it's okay, accidents happen, are you alright, did you get hurt? Jaehwan gets weird around new people right, so he panicked and left, called me up, told me about it. Kept talking about how pretty the guy was and how nice he was."

"Fast forward to the swimming thing, we went because Daehwi has a friend who swims butterfly, we're all there, squashing under a small umbrella when Jae started screaming and was all," Jisung adopts Jaehwan's Excitable Fanboy Screamo Voice, "that's the nice stranger! That's the nice stranger! Isn't he cute? Oh he swims too. I bet he sings as well."

"But," Guan Lin is bamboozled, "Hwang Minhyun sings. Considerably well. He's in choir. He's the only reason choir is happening and people are coming to church."

Jisung gestures to him like 'I know right?', eyebrows raised high. "So Jae becomes increasingly interested in him, just out of nowhere, because he stalks people before deciding that he likes them or wants them as a friend. The mechanics of that child's brain is weird. I'm not too sure. I think, I'm guessing, this is a very far-fetched idea, but I know Jaehwan is stubborn and wants to find answers. He's the type to risk everything to know something, hence, yeah, all the things. Generally speaking, Jae doesn't blame anyone any more than himself for being too dense at something. You're good. Don't beat yourself up. Interventions normally don't sit well with Jaehwan but honestly speaking," Jisung sighs, "he has so much going on that he won't notice. Don't tell him unless he asks. Keep him ignorant. He finally stabilised and I don't want him to spiral out of control again. Keep...yeah, keep him this way. We'll protect him, until he can protect himself."

"That's such a handful of things to do for a friend," Guan Lin observes, "I never signed up for a Kim Jaehwan. I just wanted a place to sleep in."

"You say that, but you were ready to fight Seonho, which is a feat in itself. Taewoong would murder you if you did and I don't want to pick sides in attending to casualties," Jisung absentmindedly pats the back of Guan Lin's hand. "Please don't fight."

"I won't," he whines, "but I might've." After he digested his words, his face blanches. "Oh God, I'm ready to fight a kid in Kim Jaehwan's name. I'm basically one with the brothers."

"Welcome, young one," the older man solemnly deepens his voice, "welcome to a life of suffering."

"Oi Jisung!" Seungwoo calls from somewhere. "Put this thing away!"

"If it's trash, then do it yourself!"

"Nah it's Taewoong. He's not letting me in. I think he froze half to death!"

Jisung departs. Guan Lin knows full well that none of those things are true. Seungwoo is a chronic liar. He is behind Taesung (or whatever variation of the ship name that Daehwi alternates between, he tuned most of what the kid said whenever they hang out) just as much as the campus is behind it. Jisung had been doing a good job of not being in the same building as Taewoong, because of some old laws about chaperoning ("Hyung, you're the chaperone," Woojin stressed at some point) and impropriety (Taehyun's words). Taewoong had been understanding, perhaps too understanding, and things stagnated, but clearly this group of friends can't go a day without somebody trending on the Facebook page once. There's a slammed door with Seungwoo triumphantly waltzing into the kitchen like he scored the perfect homerun and brought pride and glory upon the homeland, hands thrust into the air.

"Boom, bitches, I did the thing," he announces to the walls.

"What thing?" Guan Lin humours him.

"Taesung is staying outside or going somewhere. We're crawling out the window. Escape somewhere. Swim to England. I don't know and I don't care. Get your things, giraffe boy, we're leaving." He's being ushered up and standing, before Seungwoo remembers he only has one sock on and dashes back into the hallway. "Aren't I brilliant, Lai, my son?"

"Very much so," he concedes and prepares for the crushing hug. It comes and stays. He wheezes out breaths. 

"Hyung," he chokes on an exhale, "lemme go."

"Okay okay, let's go. Leave them be," Seungwoo lets go and pushes up the window. "See you later, nerd!"

Guan Lin hears the angry thumping. He shuts off his phone. It's out of battery. He's swinging by Wooseok's dorms and camping there. 

 

There is a dance/fashion expo that Daehwi, Eunki and Hyeongseob are participating in. From Eunki's words, he's basically running the damn thing. Seongri, by the sheer force that is Eunki, accompanies his childhood friend to the thing, marginally unhappy that he has to, face souring when he sees Jaehwan, fresh and without proper sleep and accosting him.

"You're so cute," Hyeongseob awws and sneaks a photo in. Jaehwan beams, bright and demonic, as Daehwi guffaws on the side because he does keep his promise, he is turning up with Seongri, out and about, their elbows are linking, they're basically close friends who bitch about the affairs of the school together.

"Thanks, cupcake, I try my best," Jaehwan winks and blows a kiss at the camera. 

"I didn't ask for this when I left my bed this morning," Soengri yawns and coughs, half angry, half tired. "Kim is a demon at any time during the day."

"Aww, sweetcheeks, you too," Jaehwan doesn't need to turn his head, mouth folding into a bigger line, "you're such a joy to be around."

"They hate each other," Daehwi marvels, "they genuinely hate each other so much that it's a miracle this is not ending in bloodshed."

"You know what they all say," Eunki is ahead, "people bond through a common evil."

"What is the common evil?" Hyeongseob hacks out a laugh.

"Each other," Daehwi whispers. Gets a glare and a kick to the back of his calf by Seongri and Jaehwan respectively. "I'm being honest!"

"Keep walking, little cupcake, before I expunge you to the realm of demons!"

 

Choi Minki waves Eunki over, stack of paper in hand. They're ready to go over how things will be, what is happening, the order of performances. Daehwi and Hyeongseob got blessed by Jaehwan's cheek pats and bounce off backstage to prepare for their acts, chattering among themselves.

Seongri hangs back with Jaehwan, their elbows still linked. There are a couple of photos taken of them distributed via social media and on a lot of people's phones. Jaehwan doesn't care. He's busy. He's trying to win an argument.

"But how do you not sleep with socks on? That's weird," he hisses and dodges as Seongri's fist finds his side. 

"You're weird. What if it's summer? What if my feet smell?" Seongri shoots back. "Stop condemning my actions, brat."

"I'm not," Jaehwan looks up as a familiar face passes by. "Hey Jonghyun."

Jonghyun freezes. Minki is jogging by his side. Next to them, Hwang Minhyun.

 

Seongri and Jaehwan bow, per courtesy. Seongri pulls the other boy closer, sensing how tense Jaehwan became. The others too, seem tense. He heard the rumours, for sure, between Hwang and Jaehwan. Not all of it, but enough to conjecture that there was a complicated thing and it's going nowhere at the skittishness of the two of them when they run into each other like this. 

"Boys, I need your help. Step aside for a bit, Woojinnie needs to," Minki flutters his wrist as Woojin, with a light projector, runs through them, yelling apologies. "This side, please, you're upsetting the backstage children."

Minhyun is looking at Jaehwan a lot. Jaehwan is trying not to look. People are starting to whisper.

"I'll join you guys in a bit yeah?" Seongri tells them. "Gotta slap some sense into this kid first."

"Oi," he kicks the boy, "you good?"

"No," Jaehwan swallows, disentangling their elbows, "but I have to be. I can't just be like this. We're friends. He's cool. I'll be back. Go forth and leave me."

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" 

"Seongri, the more worried you become, the more I'm convinced you harbour a cr-" the brunette dodges as Seongri swings a fist. "Go away, old man."

"Text me if things go wrong. I can handle crises. I also can run very fast from problems," he retreats, reluctant, but Jaehwan had already slipped away, after saluting. "Don't make me worried!"

 _God, it's not like I like noisy boys,_ he rolls his eyes. _I would fall if it was anyone else other than Kim Jaehwan._

 

"I want to feel less worse. Can I come with you, anywhere?" Minhyun had told Jonghyun the minute he got home. Seonho must've had that talk. Minhyun was blue and pale but more or less up and standing. 

"Minki has a thing. I'm leaving soon," Jonghyun didn't know how to approach him. The situation was rare. He hardly encountered Minhyun approaching him first, out of volition. It's mostly everyone doing the pushing and pulling. It's a good sign.

"Okay, give me five minutes."

Now, here, with Kim Jaehwan standing in front of them and in the same space, he's deathly afraid of a relapse in Minhyun. But no. His friend is standing, resolute. There's a set look in his eyes and his posture is steeled. He's ready. Jonghyun doesn't know what. Minki mouths 'let's leave them alone' as Jaehwan pushes his way through the increasing throng of people, squinting to find them. Jonghyun makes up some excuses about helping Minki backstage and slips away. He can hear only snippets.

 

"Hey ditcher." Jaehwan grins, all pretenses stripped back. This is Minhyun, his snarky friend among many. He can do this. 

"Sorry, that was dodgy of me." Minhyun shifts, crossing his hands together. "How are things?"

"Good. Manageable. How are you? It's been radio silent from your end."

"Yeah, I'm bad with keeping in touch and such. I don't use my phone a lot. I should, but I'm not. I'm just terrible at social media." He wrings his hands in embarrassment.

"Well, you must text or something, right? How do your friends get to you? Telepathy? Telegrams? Pigeon mail?" A corner of Jaehwan's mouth twitches and it makes Minhyun snorts a little in amusement. There's a bit of head shaking.

"They text, but I respond to calls." He looks down. Jaehwan doesn't let himself anticipate. Waits with no expectations. The light shutters off and on.

"Can I have your number next time this happens? I can explain and not leave you hanging for two weeks straight."

Jaehwan doesn't have expectation. He caves in. Slips Minhyun that bit of vulnerability and information. 

"Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it got a bit heavy but this is literally just me projecting my anxiety and depression onto Minnie and my sort-of recovery ever since I made an effort to get better. Things will look up soon so we won't have sad times forever, but right now let's bear with it we're nearly done and nearly there
> 
>    
> [Find me on Twitter](https://twitter.com/jarofactonbell)  
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> [Ask me anything on Curious Cat!](https://curiouscat.me/jenny_benny)


	16. Of being right, wrong and all the things not working strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Funny thing is, I don't know for sure if I ever truly liked Minhyun," he chokes on the realisation 18 months too late, "he's just...like a brother and a friend to me. I keep deluding myself in this stupid obsession over him but I'm just...maybe I was lonely and I need to obsess over something so I forget my own loneliness. Minhyun to me was just...a coping mechanism. Someone to project my fantasies of having a normal life onto. I guess others have music and sports, but I had nothing so...I created this fantasy with a Fake Minhyun to save myself from loneliness. To save myself from falling I guess. And I conflated fantasies with reality to the point of indistinctness, to the point where I thought one was the other but really...it's all in my head."
> 
> He breathes in, blinking away frustrated tears. Seongri lends him a stash of tissues. 
> 
> "But really, the one I thought I loved was just a figment of my imagination."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes. The third last. We are here, at a point where we are nearly done. Yes yes the big reveal is up next and yes yes I am close to finishing it, it is great and good. At this rate, I shall be swiftly finishing it for the summer holidays for you guys and we can all cry over Wanna One's newest songs.
> 
> Or me listening to Beautiful nonstop and going on a writing rampage. Thank you for your support please leave comments.

The people are confused. Everyone runs around, lost, discombobulated, searching for answers. The question is evident. Very much evident. 

"So is there," Momo steps a foot onto a table one day, aggressively lacing her shoelaces, "a love triangle sort of type with Jaehwan, Minhyun and Seongri?"

Daehwi squints back, confused.

"I don't know the exact details. They all claim they're friends."

Momo gives him a high-brow arc in the code of the Superior Intellect of 'you know that's a lie, girl'. It is a fat lie - even Jinyoung who doesn't care for gossip or is sharp enough to notice anything notices - Jaehwan should work harder at suppressing his facial expressions when he's texting Seongri. He is so obvious. There are reasons nobody dare to ask the whys and hows of the Love Triangle Spectacle, as he himself and Eunki had appropriately branded and trademarked. The first of it being Jaehwan's inability to speak directly when confronted with hard subjects and they can pry all they want to the confusion of Jae and themselves. The second being Seongri and his unimpressed face, always judging, and beyond that, his street fighting rumours and how he doesn't hesitate to swear people out on their misconduct. The third of it being fear of persecution from allies and friends and zealous fan clubs who have different interpretations protection and obsession. All of this add to a tiptoeing state of affair where the safest choice is to watch. The quieter and sneakier ones exchange gossip in between coffee shops and libraries, peeking. The cheerleading team had undertaken the duty of observing the three - separately or together - and report to Daehwi all information for him to process and execute actions. He as the campus's golden child is famously untouchable and cannot be harmed - Bae Jinyoung along with Daehwi's band of brothers keep watch over his every moment. It is safe to assume that he would be able to not be shot dead if he were to do anything in this dire time of conflict.

Momo doesn't pry any longer, leaving him to contemplate the newest piece of evidence Jooe gathered. Jaehwan and Seongri were seen walking out of a studio - not a rare occurrence, Jaehwan walks a lot of people to studios and stays there with them, often the younger year levels as he is a mentor and in turns, he walks out of studios with company. Sungwoon now and then makes appearances with him, but they are loud and full of playful 'bro' punches whereas Seongri allows Jaehwan to cling onto his elbow, a move that would've been a critical wipeout had it come from anyone else bar Eunki. 

Daehwi refuses to believe in rumours. Those are the facts that he has and the facts seem to align to a solid outcome.

 

"Suspicions are still suspicions, but they're everywhere together!" Seungwoo throws up his hands and nearly decks Woojin across the eye. He scrambles over Sungwoon's crossed legs to cradle the child ('stop calling me that, hyung!') to his chest, cooing apologies while he's still half on Sungwoon. 

"Not everywhere," Jisung frowns. "He's still with us."

"I can guarantee you he texted some of us, not in direct rejection but in rescheduling, that he has to meet up with Seongri-hyung and can we meet another time," Hyeongseob slams a fist onto his palm, "I guarantee it."

"Nah," Seungwoo waves his hand, dismissive, "no way."

"He's done it to me," Guan Lin calls out. 

"Same," Sungwoon echoes.

"I know because he swerved our coffee date," Hyeongseob puts a heavy hand on his heart, the dramatic fool, "because of his own date."

Seungwoo and Jisung share a look. They haven't been texted, courtesy of being childhood brothers, but they see Jaehwan at the dorm every day. Occasionally he sleeps at Sungwoon's because it's closer to a studio. Occasionally he comes back late because he hangs out with other friends besides them and it can be expected that he won't be back until midnight because drinking games and coordinating safe returns of all concerned parties. 

"He ran past me once, screaming that he's sorry and we were supposed to go somewhere together," Jinyoung furrows a brow and Daehwi leans over, cooing and bopping his nose. Taewoong moves so they can conjoin their respective bodies in a weird half hug, face reserving no judgement, just all disappointment. 

"Jihoon, comments?" Daehwi turns to the strawberry blonde, tapping fingers onto his chin. Jaehwan and him embark on platonic dates everywhere and all the time and any slots of time that both of them are not together are unprecedented. Unheard of. What, Jihoon without Jaehwan? Is Jaehwan dead?

"Well we don't see each other daily anymore, because I'm actually and legitimately busy with lab work and when I'm not, he's busy with his choral project-" Jihoon explains as Sungwoon shoots up with a 'Oh right, yes, our project, how could I forget?!'. Jihoon ignores him and plows on. "That we see each other once every...three days at best."

"That's so heartbreaking," Jinyoung covers the right side of his chest and gets a round of beating from Daehwi, Woojin, Ong and Jihoon. "What, my chest is empty."

"All in all, they seem to be getting closer to dating," Sungwoon concludes, conclusively. 

"I suggest an intervention," Seungwoo pipes in.

"No, no, why?" Daehwi waves his arms around, confused. "Why would you interfere? Don't interfere."

"It's for the best, little midget boy," Guan Lin solemnly holds him back as he attempts to claw out Sungwoon's eyes. "Stop kicking me, you fake chopstick."

"How am I fake?" Daehwi gasps, offended, fully. "Are you saying that I've been on US soils and that makes me impure, you spindly spinach leaf let me at him, let me at him!"

"I don't want to interfere," Jisung looks concerned. Daniel sympathetically squeezes his arm, sitting quite far away from the conflict, observing the ruination of this large group. "Especially if it has Jae involved. He gets rowdy and interfering by himself already. He'll be even louder if we step in."

"This is for the best," Woojin hums serenely.

"It really isn't," Jinyoung suggests, timid. Daehwi lets out a huge gasp, spluttering about broken vows and the disloyalty of this relationship. "I feel that it's his life, he can just do what he wants with it. Us stepping in will worsen things for him."

Sungwoon shakes loose Taehyun from him, beating his chest and chanting 'Monitor, monitor, interfere, interfere!'

Taehyun clocks him by the back of his head and he breaks off his tribal hoo-ing and hah-ing with a sharp 'You what, mate?', whirling around to knock his offender into next week. Taewoong takes this opportunity to open his mouth, unleashing that Crowd Management Power 0.

So like, really effective crowd control. All the screaming ceases. No one starts talking over each other.

"No," he shakes his head. "No fighting, no stalking, no rigging phones, no anything. We leave him. Nobody will start telling him what to do. I trust the childhood friends and neighbours in what they said, no, not you Seungwoo-yah, you're a bit emotional right now and it's hard to hear over Sungwoon yelling. Leave Kim alone. He can handle this how he wants."

He sighs.

"It'll make him happier that way."

What he wants to say is 'it'll get rid of his sadness that way', but they understood. Some of them don't agree with the indictment and plan to break it, but most see sense in the stopping of escalating actions. Jaehwan is stubborn and his brain works in weird ways. The happiest he will be is when everything is solved by his own actions. He is a man of pride over his volition and decisions.

"I don't like it," Seungwoo grudgingly mumbles.

"But I will abide by it," Sungwoon is being elbowed by three children and Taehyun.

 

 Jaehwan avoids being shoved into a bin, just by a bit, by an overexcited Woojin. There is a thing or another - he's not quite sure which engineering competition or lecture, too excited on his feet and too excited to drag him to his competition. He's fine with it, accompanying the always absent baby scurrying off doing things here, there and elsewhere. He untangles himself from Woojin, maneuvering with difficulty past the bin and the wall bracketing him.  

_"Hyung~~"_

"Hey kid," he chokes, partly overwhelmed by being tackled, partly from emotion at Woojin, a tall ass punk, being a small docile puppy to him, sucking up on the superiority of Kim Jaehwan. "When do we go and what do we do?"

"I'm just meeting up with Zhengting-hyung," Woojin's grin wobbles, "...ge?"

"Seems legit," he nods along, "you know how my Chinese is. I know 3 phrases. None of them are fluent or deeply profound."

At this Woojin lets out a howl of laughter, hitting him in the chest repeatedly, but with more care because he could break and it won't be pretty on both their parts. He made a joke about how frail he is in the past, laughing on how 'weak' he actually is physically, to many of his friends staring at him dead in the eye and swearing to protect him and his 'weak ass' with their tiny fists.

There were some inappropriate jokes about hand sizes and an outright dick joke, with Sungwoon bellowing for them to stop polluting the babies' minds, unaware that two of the five jokes were made collaboratively by Woojin, Jinyoung and Daehwi. 

"Okay, no, no, we gotta go, I gotta run, things gotta happen before my teach whoop my skinny dance ass," the child stops abruptly, wheezing a bit at his own jokes and lets go of Jaehwan, so he can generously breathe and perform cellular respiration. 

"Is Zhu a good mentor? You guys are spending a lot of time on that big showcase thingy in midterm right? I heard many complaints about it, on top of yours." They loop arms, crossing onto the footpath, footsteps matching, a little habit from the past that is passed around and everyone in the band of brothers must abide by it. 

"Did I spam a lot?" Woojin has the decency to look apologetic, shrinking a little. "Sorry. I talk a lot when I'm stressed." 

"Oh I know. I fully know, child, don't you worry about that. The real problem is," they wait at the crossing, sunlight splashing uncomfortably on his forehead. Woojin hastily throws a scarf at his face, smacking him in the eyes. They spend about five minutes more there, one young boy apologising to another, who's reassuring him tha _t I'm okay stop yelling_ except they are both yelling quite louder and louder by the passing second and neither one of them can hear each other now.

"I'M SORRY!" Woojin roars.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M TALKING!" Jaehwan reciprocates.

That effectively shuts all the row they were having. Jaehwan gathers all the Zen he has and is about to bullshit, concentrating them into the tips of his fingers and drawing them inside his lungs, breathing deeply and with exaggeration and all the gag Ong Seungwoo would've been dead proud of.

"The real question is," he repeats, "are you good with everything? Are you stressed? Are you dying? Are you dying of stress?"

"Nah," Woojin refutes his caring words with such an abruptness that Jaehwan loses all the flow of Zen forthcoming to him, snapping his eyes in a mildly offended fashion at the youngster, the child he raised for many years off his back, Protege Number One of his Protege Batch.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. All good. Ranting is so therapeutic," Woojin ponders, almost serene. 

 _Gosh that's so weird. Serene and Woojin, in one sentence,_ his brain helpfully supplies, _Jihoon isn't going to beat up people who don't respect him next._

"I could feel all the stress leaving me, hyung, it's amazing," he turns to Jaehwan, wonderment in his tone. "You should try it too, hyung."

"Yeah. Sure. Uh huh," he mindlessly agrees. 

Woojin gives him a look of similar disapproval and offence, with Jaehwan offering a live rendition of that shrug emoji ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯. "A man gotta do what makes his children happy."

"You're such a shitty carer. I want Jisung-hyung." Woojin squints and storms off.

He grins, chasing after.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry but, Park-ssi, Park-ssi! I can't hear you over the long ass paragraphs you wrote me last week in my notebooks about cheering up and looking forward to life and how much you love me and my singing voice! And how I'm a dedicated and loving parent!"

 

Zhengting looks mildly confused when Woojin barrels into him, bawling about how he's being harassed by a strange man. It's a dissonant screech of 'SAVE ME GE HE'S STILL FOLLOWING ME!' with them two watching Jaehwan skips in two combined steps to them, maniacal grin on his face.

It looks more real than the ones he plastered on a couple of days ago. Something must've happened. Someone must've happened, looking at the phone he's keeping close to his reach. Eunki isn't here, thank God, otherwise he would've stolen the phone, escape with it half way through Seoul and by the time they get a hold of him, he would've hacked into and scrolled through the entirety of Jaehwan's phone. 

"He seems to be doing good," Zhengting observes.

"Yeah he is. I don't know what kinda magic Hwang Minhyun has, but he's doing good," Woojin detaches himself, tone cautious.

"You're worried," the Chinese boy notices, "for the occasion or the people that will happen?"

"A bit of both. Mainly just how hyung will handle things. I worry for him, Hwang be damned."

"I don't think it's wise to demonise one without doing the same with another," Zhengting hums.

"What do you mean?" Woojin turns sharp eyes to him, eyes that are famously responsible for the disintegration of much stronger men and women who can similarly take him down. However, Zhu Zhengting studies contemporary dance and dates Hong Eunki. There are very few things that can unnerve him.

"You're looking at things as if Jaehwan is completely innocent when I think he's not completely without blame. They both choose to approach each other and chase it out, so you can blame Hwang Minhyun for disappearing but you can't not blame Kim Jaehwan for encouraging that type of affection without any backlash. They sort of screwed it up with each other and it's uncalled for if you step in at any point and try to untangle threads that they know go where and how to not tangle them any further."

"Is this how you win arguments with Eunki-hyung?" Woojin whispers, anger all forgotten as he peers at Zhengting with renewed respect and admiration. His Korean greatly improved over the past few months, having to control a household of children and a grown man who acts like 4 children under the age of 6. He also learnt the virtue of patience and silence and allows Woojin the silences that Jaehwan can catch up to them, bouncing now.

"Yes," he answers out of nowhere, to Woojin, "yes that is how I win arguments with Eunki. About presentation, I think you can go third. No negotiations."

"I thought the bottom line was fifth!" Woojin shrieks in acute despair.

Zhengting bows to Jaehwan before heading off, with the smart yet dramatic engineer-wannabe in tow. "Thanks to walking this kid here. We'll be right now."

"Have fun baby boo!" Jaehwan waves and cackles as Woojin struggles and swears in satoori and Japanese, probably also in dialect. "Love you too~!"

 

 Seongri is not happy he is pulled out of his production session, still refining the recording they harnessed from the week Jaehwan spent camping in Sungwoon's and Sungwoon dashing between his Doctorate, singing and screaming at Taehyun, out of love and stress, in that week. The songs they wrote ranged from mediocre, passable and excellent, depending on the day and mood they decide the quality on. The sad song, the love ballad that is about missing someone - Jaehwan solely responsible for a lot of the lyrics, stemming from personal experiences, obviously. Their voices are in the process of refining for the tone of music, with Sungwoon having to dip low and Jaehwan rising high and Seongri maintaining the melody line. It's all excessive and the three of them regularly call each other to bellow out harmonies and melodies, at any time during the night or day, to the annoyance and irritation of those around them. 

"What." Seongri stretches out his legs on top of the fake grass in front of the canteen, squinting at natural lighting. Too bright. "I was busy."

"Wait, wait, listen, I got Jinyoung to sing it," Jaehwan slips the earphone onto Seongri who raises an eyebrow. "Listen. It's perfect."

_I miss you so much_   
_Now I finally feel our space_   
_I miss you so much_   
_Tears are falling like this_   
_But why didn’t I know?_

Seongri hums in understanding, tapping Jaehwan on the thigh, tapping out the rhythm. 

_So beautiful beautiful_   
_You’re more beautiful than anyone else_   
_So don’t be sick, don’t cry_   
_If you can hear this song for you_   
_Come back to me_

"How sad," Seongri laments with no feelings attached. "I still think you should cough all of your nasty feelings up. Record this song. Send it off to Minhyun's house with big ass capitals screaming HI I'M GAY ANGSTING OVER YOU LET'S GO ON A DATE."

"How about no? How about you leave me alone to deal with my," Jaehwan aggressively air quotes, "'gay angst' you bitch."

"I'm just saying 'give him the song' you whore," Seongri doesn't even bother with explaining himself, stretching, "Jinyoung sounds good. He sings too? We should get him to sing for us, it'll work."

"Am I angsting unnecessarily? Am I just complicating shit without thinking things through? Should I just get things over and done with and talk it out with Minhyun? Do I even like Minhyun? How long had this been going on for? Is he a human person to me or is he just a nice cut-out of a pretty boy who I obsess over?" He rants, aware but also ignoring Seongri who is happy for him to rant, stealing his phone and replaying Jinyoung's singing, humming along. 

"Should I just talk to him?" He asks, directs the question to Seongri.

"Got your phone near you for the last coupla days just for that, bub, use it," the friend, the adviser, the trusted dude among the snakes, advises him, "I would tie up loose ends before I approach anything further."

"Yeah," he takes his phone out, staring at the black screen. Unlocks then locks it again. Seongri sits by, watching him. 

 

"Funny thing is, I don't know for sure if I ever truly liked Minhyun," he chokes on the realisation 18 months too late, "he's just...like a brother and a friend to me. I keep deluding myself in this stupid obsession over him but I'm just...maybe I was lonely and I need to obsess over something so I forget my own loneliness. Minhyun to me was just...a coping mechanism. Someone to project my fantasies of having a normal life onto. I guess others have music and sports, but I had nothing so...I created this fantasy with a Fake Minhyun to save myself from loneliness. To save myself from falling I guess. And I conflated fantasies with reality to the point of indistinctness, to the point where I thought one was the other but really...it's all in my head."

He breathes in, blinking away frustrated tears. Seongri lends him a stash of tissues. 

"But really, the one I thought I loved was just a figment of my imagination."

"Then why don't you talk to the real one?" The boy next to him puts forward. "Find out if he's really worth all the angsting. You've met the real one and you've talked to him. Surely you can now distinguish and choose which one you prefer."

"It's not that easy."

"Nor is it that hard. Stop denying. Do what's good for you. Get your own happiness outside of fantasy."

"How much do you want to get rid of me and go back?" He gets up, dusting grass bits from his arse.

"Very. A lot. So much. Is counselling done? Can I leave now?" Seongri swings himself to his feet, exhaling loudly. "Brilliant. We shall now separate and not talk until I'm done editing. Go. Do your confronting. I support whatever dumb decisions you take."

"What is there to lose right?" He wonders.

"There's nothing to lose, Kim Jaehwan," Seongri looks him in the eye. "Stop being so mental."

"Thanks," he grimaces, "no really, thanks."

"Can I go?"

"Yes you can go asshole, leave. Begone."

 

His finger hovers over Hwang Minhyun's contact details. He taps on the message icon. Begins the draft of a new text. The first text. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyyy any questions or answers, don't hesitate to hop onto these things, we good and sorted for the next 2 chapters in which i am writing now- i am an awkward bean outside of ao3 please be a friend!!  
> I LIKE GETTING COMMENTS PLEASE LEAVE MANY I'M ALMOST DONE WHOO
> 
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	17. Of gaining happiness and trading self and pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, the official ending
> 
> There's an epilogue, but technically this is an ending. Good, bad, not-too-sure-I'm-on-the-fence-about-it? I really am alright with how things are but if there are requests and questions, feel free to hop onto cc and the comments so I can clear 'em up for ya. I PROMISED THAT I WILL FINISH THIS STORY BEFORE DISBANDMENT AND I WILL DON'T WORRY I'M HALF WAY DONE WITH THE ACTUAL LAST CHAPTER ALREADY
> 
> Don't you wish that you have friends like the boys in here because I want friends like them - this is me projecting my wish for friends like them

Hwang Minhyun resurfaces from the pool, shaking water out of his eyelashes and ears, lungs trying to crush him. Catching the fleeing air rushing out of his lungs. Gulping in air, lodging air bubbles inside his throat, diving under again. 

In the changing room, Minki sits with his bag. All ringtones are silenced. Minhyun gets spooked easily by the sound of a ringing phone or any sorts of repetitive noises nowadays. There is buzzing and humming everywhere in the humid pool. 

A text message from **_jae_ ** arrives and stays unseen. The battery ebbs until the phone shuts off, a black screen, withholding the text that took too long to be done and even longer to send.

 

Jaehwan must be really turning into the Campus Cupid because...god damn wow he's really out here stuck yet in another third wheel date, or as Seungwoo termed it, Tragic Reminder of Yer Loveless Life. Guan Lin valiantly hockey-smacked him with his stick as a retaliation and a defence of Jae's honour. It was heartwarming. He shed a sole tear.

Right now though? Right now he's stuck in a pretense of a date with Ahn Hyeongseob, with the tag along Park Woojin, but really, everyone and their grandmother know that he's third wheeling Jinseob, trademarked by Daehwi and Jooe. 

"I know!" Hyeongseob squeals, high and deadly, shoving his face into Jaehwan's cocktail. "It was so obvious that the ghost was going to be in the basement! Like, where else would it be?"

"For someone who got scared of a ghost prank in high school, you're weirdly not scared of horror movies," Woojin sips on his tea/alcohol fusion, courtesy of a flask Seulgi flashed to them before they entered the cafe, half of it already gone because she walked out of the exam and her lecturer wanted to search bags  _so here Woojinnie take my flask._

Hyeongseob spent a solid ten seconds cackling when Woojin, Stoic Manly Dude Straight Outta Busan facade peeled into the stuttering mess that everyone knows he is. Jaehwan was occupied with filming the priceless footage because he knows the world is a distrustful place and he needs photographic evidence to back up his claims. Nobody would believe the words 'Seulgi had a flask full of alcohol with her in her exam and she needed to get rid of it the minute it finished because her lecturer is a bloodhound and he can sniff booze on anyone and she came out to 'go to the toilet' but really she saw Woojin and gave it to him with some lame ass excuses and now Woojin is sipping lemon iced tea infused with vodka and rum'. 

Jaehwan tried the monstrous concoction. It was horrible and strong and very alcoholic, an early route to alcohol poisoning. Woojin has a high tolerance, or something - they haven't taken him drinking that much yet, because in Jisung's head everyone is still twelve and don't know how to tie shoelaces for their first days in school. The baby is still sipping casually, like the poison isn't eating away his liver, face a calm veneer of 'I am okay, this is okay' while everything around him goes off in flames. 

"I still can't believe you took my scaredy cat ass to see a ghost movie," he slams back into his chair, skidding a bit. Woojin's shoe hooks under his knee and pulls him back, one-legged and without even thinking, the rest of him stirring his demonic alcohol brew. He rocks forward on the front two chairs, crashing his torso back onto the table in a heap of Almost Dead But My Child Saved Me. "Thanks potato son," he wheezes. 

"Be careful," Hyeongseob scolds him. "If you die, who would sing at my wedding?"

"Sungwoon?" Jaehwan offers.

"You can sing," Woojin points a straw at Hyeongseob who widens his eyes in exaggerated offence.

"Bold of you to assume I can sing," he rights his shoulder and gives a toss of his head, like a glorified pony showing off his coat. 

"Was that a meme?" Jaehwan squints.

"Bullshit I heard you sing before," Woojin rolls his eyes at the same time. He closes his eyes, waiting for Jaehwan's squeals. One. Two.

_"Oh my god you babies sang to each other before this is adorable was this karaoke stop smirking Seobbie and tell me! When was this? How did it happen? Oh whoa you two are such squishy marshmallows go have fun more, with each other!"_

"Don't listen to Jinnie Pooh, he lies a lot. He's drinking his own lies right now," Hyeongseob kicks Woojin's chair only to skid a few steps back, glaring. His son, his boy, Park Jaehwanson, sips obnoxiously and loudly with his straw, raising a shit-eating eyebrow at them. Jaehwan throws him two thumbs up, exceedingly pleased. His upbringing is reflected well on his children. Any assassination attempts made against him will not only be avenged, they will be lauded and celebrated as the spectacles that they ought to be.

Woojin stands, tapping at his jeans pocket. Phone call, probably from engineering. That project is hassling and time-consuming. The last time Jae saw his son sleep was three days ago when he passed out after drinking the decaf Jihoon swapped for him at the cafe. They might or might not secretly high fived after they knocked out that big baby, too stubborn to sleep and take care of himself. Guan Lin and Jinyoung lugged that big mess back, occasionally checking in on him. 

"Is that the project?" Hyeongseob narrows his eyes, speaking through the straw that he's gnawing on. 

"No," Woojin pushes the chair back. "It's Daniel-hyung." 

Okay Daniel is cool. They know Daniel. Daniel is a Good and Honest Man. Hyeongseob still squints after Woojin's leaving, a bit suspicious, but not overtly so, in comparison to Jaehwan who is completely relieved that Woojin is not burying himself deep under twenty pieces of project fulfillment that requires a second sneaking of decaf, although Jihoon is very willing. There's something satisfying about watching the Felling of Park Woojin. It might have something to do with the countless times Woojin put Jihoon in a chokehold over the past and it's Retaliation Time for Park Twin Number One.

Hyeongseob grumbles without actual words, gnawing on his straw until Jaehwan is certain there are holes in that plastic tube now, hand on the younger boy's shoulder, shaking him. 

"Kid," he warns, "come on."

"That's from Tingting-ge," his child mumbles vindictively, "I just know it."

"Even if it is, you can't do anything about it. Let's just give him the benefit of the doubt," he speaks, tone mollified. Hyeongseob settles uncomfortably into his chair, teeth gnawing on his lower lip now. 

This is the part that he either gets over it or doesn't. Jaehwan sits, waits.

Hyeongseob slaps both hands on the wooden table, rattling the cups and his own phone.

There it is. He's not getting over anything.

"Daniel," he seethes, "does engineering too, Park you slithering little fucker-"

Woojin enters, clutching his phone in defence, one eye squinting in concern at the shift in cups and phone and Jaehwan barely holding Hyeongseob back, teeth all bared and snarling, a feral animal with a barely restrained handler. He takes a step back, asking with his eyes. _Yo hyung what went south?_

 _You._ Jaehwan widens his eyes. _Apologise. Beg. Something. Do it, quickly, before he shred your ass._

He regrets not being able to pass eye telepathy onto this one earlier in life because Woojin leans down near Hyeongseob's face, a snaggletooth on his lower lip, worrying the flesh. 

"I'm okay, don't be mad. Dinner's on me?"

"Dinner is so on you. And every other date from now on. All of them. Hell, you can even marry me and I won't be any less mad," Hyeongseob snarls, surging forward so that their noses are almost touching. Jaehwan doesn't know if he ought to be here or he can pull the 'Look at that I am called hahaha what a surprise I'm leaving'. His own phone, his angel in dire circumstances, buzzes, and he blurts out a half-assed excuse, but this duo aren't getting any word inside their little ears in the foreseeable future. He can deliver a Martin Luther King level speech and nothing will get through them. Skidding the chair back quietly, he slips out, not before whispering vehemently. 

_Oi go out already you lovesick goons._

 

Sungwoon, surprisingly, is there with them. He endures Jaehwan's jump hug, vaulting onto his much smaller body, catching and holding him. All their equipment for busking is set. A guitar is handed to him, plugged, tuned, polished, knife hidden in the back in case he feels the need to stab anyone, because Sungwoon and Seongri are considerate that way. 

"Are you done? I'm just - are you done?" Seongri scrunches his nose in his best M'Baku impression, one side of his lips curling up as Sungwoon starts cackling, dropping Jaehwan who's similarly distraught and in hysterics.

"Hyung ~" he hears from the distance. Daehwi waves, flashing a phone on a selfie stick. Dotted about them, he can spot the cheerleading squad and Woo Jinyoung, Yedam's elbow clasped with his. Yedam winks at him. 

"Okay nerds, are we good to start?" Seongri helps Jae up, one armed, because he's holding his Expensive Recording Device which he vowed to kill a human with if they drop it and damage it. 

"I'm older," Sungwoon complains, fixing the microphone.

"All good," Jaehwan gives his a-okay.

"Hey everyone," he leans into his own mic, "we've been working on this for a while, so if you can, chuck us some coins and likes on SoundCloud, be much appreciated. We're Three Brothers on social media and this is Always."

 _All day, I’m filled with your love_  
_You’re the main of my life, all main every day_  
_I’ll make memories with you on this path_  
_Always wherever you’re walking_

 _Let’s hold hands just like now_  
_Let’s stay together like the word, forever_  
_You and I, with hearts that won’t change_  
_I promise_  
_To love you_

He spots familiar but not necessarily welcomed faces in the crowd. Kim Jonghyun. Kwak Aron. Choi Minki. He's not as close to Minki and Aron, a blessing now, because he's still avoiding Minhyun out of sheer cowardice. Jonghyun is stock still, eyes watching him - God damn him, Jae has his eyes closed and looking elsewhere, but he can feel the eyes watching him incessantly. Trying to unearth his secrets, more vulnerabilities. Which way is best to break him down to dust.

"We're working on another work right now, Kim will sing a little spoiler for your ardent ears. Daehwi stop flashing that onto my face, it's making my eye twitch," Seongri shields an eye away from the insistent light, handing the mic to Jaehwan who accepts, face alight in unadulterated glee, maniacal at best. 

"Hi peasants," he singsongs onto the mic, guitar strapped across his legs, "be ready to feel blessed, fools."

He decidedly doesn't make eye contact with Jonghyun. He's still being watched.

 _So beautiful beautiful_  
_You’re more beautiful than anyone else_  
_So don’t be sick, don’t cry_  
_If you can hear this song for you_  
_Come back to me_

 

"Hey," he's accosted either way. Gosh darn. Gosh hecking darn. Seongri and Sungwoon had panned out, rolling up cables and amps onto a trolley Daehwi wheeled in, pretending to talk about the weather while hovering close enough that if Jaehwan is strangled by Jonghyun they can take preventative actions. Like record it and put it on Youtube or stop preemptive murder.

"Hi Jonghyun," he looks up and focuses on the guy's forehead. Nice hair. He has nice hair.

"Seems like you're busy."

"Is there an implication in that or are you just making small talk?" He can't help it. The words had been set free. Now he's inching towards preemptive murder. Just before 'I promise you' is finished too. Just his luck. 

Jonghyun's jaw twitches. He sighs. 

"He showed us your text, one about meeting up. Hasn't been able to decide. I guess I'm just here to gauge the field. If you're busy then he won't meet ya for a while but if you're sure-"

Jaehwan cuts in, rising from the amp he's sitting on as an inappropriate chair.

"What he wants to convey to me will be his to make, not yours, just as any further future actions from him. Whatever you and I have been doing up until now had been," he grounds his molars together, the horrible friction between calcified stumps makes him cringe, "detrimental to him. I don't want to be the sole factor of how he chooses to run his life, that's - that's not healthy or independent. That's too dependent - like - I'm taking the choice from him. I made an invitation and if he chooses to meet me and talk then that's cool but if he doesn't then it's fine. I don't - it's not on me or you to make that choice for him, yeh know?"

Jonghyun looks like he's been judging Jaehwan wrong this entire time and his tongue had gone into Retreat Mode. Jae can empathise. Hella empathise. That's such a big mood. 

"We don't run his life for him, Kim. He does. As friends, we want to shelter him from heartbreak but if that's all you do to him, sheltering, he'll be hella useless in the real world. Ya just projecting onto him your anxieties but like, he's a big boy. He'll trip, he'll get up, he'll heal. I'll help him too. Don't - don't ruin him in thinking that it would help. Mistakes made by yourself are easier to forgive than mistakes imposed onto you. He'll never forgive you if you decide all the things for him." He continues, because he put thought into this and he had a talk with all the guys about not interfering in which half of them started yelling and the other half screeched in some sort of dinosaur decibel and all of them refused to tell him what's up until Taewoong texted him the condensed version of What Went Down When Jae Wasn't There and it was just people deciding his life for him so he threw a fit, yelled some more and basically didn't get baited out of sulking and aggressive silence until Jihoon gave him many boxes of donuts. 

"I judged you wrong," Jonghyun articulates, at last. Gosh, is it that surprising that Kim Jaehwan, the Campus Cupid, has a brain cell at all? The Ong in his head snickers and kicks down the 'one brain cell' statement. Too generous then. Half a brain cell.

 _Better,_ Taewoong and Taehyun nod in synchronised Yoda fashion.

 _Get the fiddly fudge out of my head, you menaces._ Jaehwan's inner Jaehwan screams back. _I have Important Stuff to do. Shoo._

"Lots of people do," he shrugs and tries to sound as unoffended as he could. Unoffended. That's not a word. Whatever. It encapsulates his experiences well enough. "You wouldn't be the first."

"I'm sorry," Jonghyun bows his head, tone Very Sorry and Deeply Embarrassed about his confrontational conversational starter. "I guess I just want to keep him safe."

"Me too, but it's still his choice. If he wants risks, support him and advice him, don't take that choice away from him. He deserves autonomy."

"You're right," the guy sighs, "oh I'll just go home and not be a menace. It's - sorry about this, Jaehwan."

Jaehwan shrugs. Better than people throwing slushies onto him because he was deemed to be a homewrecker. That stuff didn't get out of his hair for two days and he looked so stupid and uncoordinated.

"No worries," he raises a hand, flicks his wrist in a soft wave, to Jonghyun and his awaiting crew, Choi Minki winking at him. Jonghyun meets his eyes, blinks way too many times deemed possible for a human, and backs away. Jaehwan waits for three counts and delivers the final blow. Because it be like that sometimes and he needs dramatic last lines.

"Jonghyun-ssi," the entourage of Jonghyun and friends pauses and turns back to one Kim Jaehwan, hands shoved into his suspenders, rocking back on battered leather shoes on the grass outside the music building, grinning. "There's no happiness to be gained if there's no pain. Keep that in mind."

He turns too quickly to gauge the shocked, absolutely elated and thoughtful expressions dashing through respectively Jonghyun, Minki and Aron, but he has a feeling that the range of expressions will be related to those emotions, therefore he doesn't need to ascertain certainties. 

 

Lying half on Guan Lin and his toes in Jisung's lap, playing Piano Tiles, Jaehwan feels at peace for once. There's been too much going on and there's no space to even sit down and relax. Jisung flips paper at an alarming rate - is he even reading the words or is he just counting pages now - and Guan Lin does homework as a rock - that is, he makes no unnecessary movements and remains as a rock until it is vital that he moves. One day Guan Lin will contract gangrene because there is no blood circulation to his arms and they will fall off and nobody will know until they check the child extensively to see if rigor mortis had settled in because he might as well be in constant post-dead posture.

Jaehwan sat his housemates down for a Very Long Talk about privacy and autonomy, just to make sure the idiots are clear on These Are The Boundaries Cross 'em And We Will Have Word. Ong Seungwoo had refused to speak to Kim Jaehwan for like five minutes and they started pummeling each other outside on the grass for conflict deescalation and things came back in main complete pieces. Jisung profusely apologised for the collective band of brothers in which Jaehwan forgave very easily - you can't stay mad at Jisung for longer than two seconds - he always means well. As for Guan Lin? The kid gave him one hug and a succinct but full of feelings 'You did good' in true Li Shang fashion.

His phone buzzes like a demon got a hold of the inner wiring and shocks him so much that he drops it onto his stomach, legs pulled away from Jisung at the sudden pain. There's no 'oof' moment, except in his brain and he apologises for spooking Jisung while leaning on Guan Lin's steady shoulder, the same even though Jaehwan knows he expresses surprise in a full my-bones-are-trampolines-that-had-been-jumped-on-and-I-will-demonstrate-aerodynamics-in-human-bones, so kudos for the kid. 

One day they'll have to check if he's actually dead while sitting still like this but today is not that day. He fumbles for his phone and checks the notifications. Seongri hasn't been back from his little outing with his mentees and whoever he towed along for the visit to the prestigious idol studio tour and he explicitly banned Sungwoon and Jaehwan from texting him between the hours of 8 am to 9 pm, unreasonable allocations, but they accepted. Can't be Sungwoon because he's busy too. Jaehwan is the freest and he can't text himself yet. The other babies, perhaps. Maybe Woojin finally blew a fuse and they need to provide PTSD therapy for the bean. Maybe Jinyoung is thinking of changing his major into music. Maybe Hyungseob found out a new barbecue place. The possibilities are endl -

_New text from Hwang Minnie x_

Oh no no no what why who -

 _minnie:_ Oh gosh I'm so sorry, I didn't see your text - was out swimming the whole day and forgot to charge my phone

 _minnie:_ We could meet now though? If you want?

 

 _"Holy sh -,"_ Jaehwan wheezes. "Holy shackle la pinata."

"Jae?" Jisung lifts his head and dives to his right as Jaehwan vaults the heck off the couch, running into the wall in his stumble to the shoe rack. "What's going on?"

"Text," Guan Lin calmly replies. "Got one from Hwang Minhyun."

"Good luck!" Jisung calls out as the door slams. "You think he'll be right?"

"He'll be more than fine. I trust in his judgement. Had a long talk with Seongri, I heard, I know, heartbreaking, quit that look," the boy doesn't move his eyes from his homework, scanning the page carefully, eyebrows scrunched together, "whatever he chooses to do, it's on him to sit with the aftermath. Don't be too protective of him."

"I watched him grow up," Jisung stresses, wringing a hand through his hair, "of course I'm going to be worried over whether or not he's going to screw up."

"He's a grown ass man, hyung. I'm sure he's more than capable to sit through whatever he wants to pursue. You know, it may be that we push too hard that he sought out others in his time of conflict. Relationships with complex creatures tend to do the opposite of what we want them to do. Give him some space and he'll come back to you. We all have his back, yeah? So we should all support, not enforce."

"Since when are you this wise?" Jisung scoots over, throwing an arm over Guan Lin's bone shoulders.

"Life and psychology. I also want that prick Seonho to stop spamming me across social media. It's getting annoying. The sooner Jaehwan-hyung take care of the mess the better off I'll be," he shifts and accommodates Jisung despite being much taller. "He talks a lot," he repeats as Jisung's growing smirk expands.

"Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that, honey."

 

Jaehwan unceremoniously runs into Minhyun as he turns a corner and that really sums up how well his life is going and how well he expects to run into his problems. Bodily and to the ground and it hurts. A lot. Dignity: shredded. Arse: hurt. Hotel: Trivago.

Minhyun and Jaehwan undergo this bumbling breathless apology spiel where they don't really hear each other but you can bet that they apologise for all the crimes they've ever committed onto the open air. It's out in the hallway, it's kinda  _hella_ really cold and Jaehwan left without a jacket. He tries to keep the shudders out of his shoulders and voice but his body is a whole traitor who decides to teach him the Bone Shaking Routine Out In This Autumnal Night.

Minhyun snaps his jaw shut and squints at him. 

"Are you cold?"

"Your voice is cold and so is your attitude. I'm peachy righ' here," his teeth chatter and his expression is about as intimidating as a freshly caught in the rain Pooh doll. 

"Have my jacket. No, I'm wearing five, don't give me that face," Minhyun drapes a jacket over his shoulder, grumbling from both ends. "Better?"

"Warmer," Jaehwan grumbles from the upturned collar of Minhyun's jacket, smelling like whatever cologne the guy spritzed on his clothes. At least he doesn't douse his fabric in those dastardly smelling liquids. They irritate his nose so much and then there was sneezing one time with that guy he had to partner up for business and it was a Nightmare. Seungwoo spritzed himself in cologne just that edge of being kinda much and Jae refused to speak to him for a whole day - it was that incriminating for him.

"There's a swing set nearby. You wanna get there?" Minhyun pockets his hands, no doubt freezing.

And also not wanting to make contact with Jaehwan too. Who knows. He's prime material for being strangled nowadays. One cannot be too optimistic.

"Lead the way," Jaehwan gestures with his shoulder, vaguely remembering Jinyoung sneaking him out and them chatting under the same sky and on the same swings. 

 

They sit in silence and as all silences do, it's suffocating. The chains holding up the swing creak and grind, metal on metal, holding the weight of boys whose weight are half bones and half sorrow. Eyes don't meet. Mouths don't speak. Songs are not sung.

Minhyun speaks first. 

"I gave this...thoughts." He pauses. "Too much thought, but yeah, more than enough. Erm, just - really, how do I say this - it's hard to discern why I'm just tragically a mess when I'm around you." Soles scrape cemented ground. "I'm fairly certain that I was fascinated with who you appeared to be. An image of you. And that was a good anchor for me to attach to, because it took my mind off things. Things, my problems - uh, my head is a mess, sorry, it's - it's yeah. You were just a good projecting point for me to forget all the screaming in my head. Sorry," shoulders are drawn inside bones and Minhyun shifts his eyes to Jaehwan who gives a soft shake of his head. 

"Go on. I know you're not done," he encourages. If Minhyun is a little bit further away, he wouldn't be able to hear the words. The layers around them are peeling off and there's dizziness at vulnerability. From both or one - it's hard to tell.

"But then I guess, I thought you liked someone, or something, but you drunk kissed me at the party -"

"I _what_ you at _which_ party?" Jaehwan's swing creaks in an obscene protest at being shoved back by a weight of a tenor catapulting himself off a metal swing. 

"It was ages ago," Minhyun waves a hand. Jaehwan's mouth remains perpetually in a gaping expression. Horrified. Ashamed. Deeply ashamed at his drunken misbehaviour

"Why didn't you tell me?" He stresses, with feelings. "Oh my god, I lived without knowing this for so long.  _So long._ "

"It's fine. I almost forgot it too. Just - just lemme finish before I lose my nerves and I ditch. Come on, work with me. I spent a whole week in moping to cleanse myself of my depressive demons, you can keep it together for two more minutes," Jaehwan snaps his jaw shut and nods jerkily, petulance seeping out of him. "Thank you. It'll be done soon and, yeah. Done."

He shoves a hand, night frost seeping into skin, in his hair. It's cold and wet and they're all miserably shaking in their skins. Nobody to hear their woes, no prying eyes, but no comfort of the indoors. You win some, you lose some in life. 

"So my reason for being infatuated with you wasn't entirely noble because you were kinda unattainable and our paths would, ideally, never cross but then it did and we pushed and shoved each other away and to each other," Minhyun gulps in a breath. Swallows bitter cold air. "It became too much. I got conflicted. I don't know how to think. I still don't know how to think - it's not - no, stop - it's really not your fault, I'm just imposing my shit onto you. Shit - that was bad and I'm really rotten inside, which was another reason that I was like hell no, I can't be pursuing this dude who's probably too good for me and I should stop but it's not my place to assume and after all the self-berating and beating pillows I came to realise the elephant in the room that I...really don't know you at all to be making all these assumptions and we ought to talk it out instead of imposing each other inside our heads."

The wait is excrutiating and lasts about three whole seconds of unblinking staring from Minhyun to Jaehwan and Jaehwan to Minhyun.

"Wow," Jaehwan breathes. "Wow. It's scary how much our thinking is alike. It scares me, genuinely."

"What -"

"'Coz I was gonna spam you over text about that too like - you're not entirely unjustified in your shitty actions and words, I'm pretty shitty in my own ways too because I don't love myself and I really was just using you as like a way to motivate self-love that spiralled into a baseless obsession to nobody's benefit and I guess I did call you to sorta like...clear that up?" Jaehwan rushes, all words and sounds and waits for Minhyun to digest all of this information. "We're really big messes, my dude."

"And we were both imposing things onto each other," Minhyun leans back, chains protesting louder and louder the lower he bends back, shoes kicking off the ground. "That's pretty toxic."

"Yeah," Jaehwan agrees. "It is."

"You can't really cure mental illnesses away with true love."

"You need therapy, Hwang-ssi, not Disney films. Please tell me you're getting a therapist," Jaehwan shivers and glares, chills running down his neck and into his spine. The late hours are trickling by and the frost is creeping onto skin and hair. They'll freeze soon.

"So I guess that's our solutions. Fix ourselves, love ourselves, before, well - before anything else. Patch up all the holes before blowing new holes," Minhyun lifts his head and stares into Jaehwan's eyes. "I don't entirely believe our mutual interests are unfounded, despite what you said or what I said. Something's there, but it's not enough to neglect ourselves in pursuit of that."

"It's not enough to bargain away what's left," Jaehwan agrees.

"Is there anything that's left?" Minhyun wonders. The boy next to him scoffs and swings a shoe onto his track pants, wet ground imprinting onto fabric. "Ow, cold," he complains.

"Suits you right. Step number one: don't talk shit about yourself. That's law, by the way. Better hope your therapist is nicer than I am, because I full on will be abusing my psych knowledge as a power imbalance to school you into wholesomeness. Quit that look," he kicks Minhyun again, who moves away swiftly, a swimmer, graceful even in air.

"Is this a promise," Minhyun gestures between them with his eyebrows, maybe a smile on the twinkle in the eyes.

"Nah. Too abstract. I prefer 'strategy'. I help you, you help me, we go from there. Whatever happens, happens. But promise me this," he chews his tongue. "Swear on it, ya hear?"

"I have to know what it is first," Minhyun points out.

"Don't be smart," Jaehwan scoffs. "Promise me you only see me as a blank canvas now. Don't assume things. Ask me if you want to know. Never say 'what if' inside your mind. We're approaching this as if we don't know each other at all, and we don't, so any sort of weird ass projections we were doin' in the past coupla weeks, gotta rid ourselves of them. Blank slates, both of us."

"Does this come before I divulge the info about the drunken kiss incident or are we forgetting that ever happened too?"

"Okay maybe you can tell me what went wrong there because fuck if I know. I've been so unstable."

"I think it started after the showcase..."

 

Minhyun walks the moonlit path home, giddiness in his bones. Jaehwan wanders back to his shared home, the certainty of his friends warming him. He remembers the warmth that encompassed him when he first talked to Minhyun - still there, very similar to the cooing sound he hears inside his head when Woojin falls asleep talking to his sister and Jaehwan drapes a blanket over him - but stronger, like when he knew he wasn't entirely into girls and Ong Seungwoo breathes around him. It's a promise and it's potent in the air. It's not love - hell, it's barely friendship at this point - but it's starting a warmth somewhere and he wraps himself in Minhyun's jacket, grinning to himself. It's a stop and it's a start and it's pursuing the obvious in neglect of the obscure.

He calls Sungwoon, already aware of the words to 'I promise you'.

_I promise you, I’ll never forget_   
_You made me born again_   
_I promise you I promise you_   
_I’ll be a better man_

_I promise you, I won’t let go_   
_You became my light_   
_I promise you I promise you_   
_In front of that bright spring day_   
_I promise you_

 

**acta est fabula plaudite**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also you do see that i have told the officially last chapter through the eyes of jae and his perspective and understanding of the debacle and drama that went on since chapter one instead of our other star, hwang minhyun. there are, for once, reasons. the obvious one is that this is jae's story and he deserves to control his narrative by the ending of it all. another is that minhyun is simultaneously a plot device and a character that isn't allowed to make decisions for himself - his experiences are decided on by others, just as here where jaehwan is telling his part of the story and minhyun gets the words in for himself but only that, nothing else because this is the sort of horrible warning that jaehwan warns us about but nobody really get it until it is worded out this way, that minhyun is broken so many ways yet we don't know and we can't help. as such, jaehwan advocates for his story to be told and minhyun to make his own choices and decisions while balancing his own story arc - the workable compromise in storytelling and a promise for minhyun and his internal demons. there's a part where their narratives merge and the narration becomes kinda omnipresent and everything is just 'them' and 'their' and there's equality in what is being said. that in this ending, minhyun gets autonomy despite this is not his story - jaehwan resolving his conflict - their relationship mending - and 
> 
> i guess i had a lot of concepts i wanted to explore in this chapter but it's half done by me and half interpreted by you guys so anyone who discover anything new that i haven't noticed you are more than welcome to point them out to me and we can discuss those points.
> 
> but the most obvious one being: kim jaehwan, the campus cupid, ends up being matched by everyone but himself in the greatest irony of the ages
> 
> happy reading my dears!  
> [I am available here (Twitter)](https://twitter.com/jarofactonbell)  
> [please feed a hungry child](https://ko-fi.com/jarofactonbell)  
> [I am also available here (Curious Cat)](https://curiouscat.me/jenny_benny)


	18. Of endings and endgame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The spring breeze passes by and they will meet again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised you another chapter so here we are - and yes, my chapter title was inspired 1000% by the newest Avengers' trailer and I have to name my own fic that way sue me
> 
> in the words of my principal at my high school graduation - it is not an ending, it is a beginning - so i urge you to not think of this as the end, but as an omake/epilogue kinda thing where there are more but i'm just cutting it loose here - what happens after this is, well, up to your interpretations!!! have fun and i hope we get to talk more ~~

There are two things worse than third-wheeling Jinseob - witnessing Daehwi throw himself out of a platform for bungee jumping or hearing Jisung's quiet sobs during cram week. 

Well, that's what he thinks is worse anyway.  _This_ is a new level of Oh No Don't Subject Me To That I'm Simply A Stupid And Innocent Child Please. 

The issue? Jisung and Taewoong. Together. But not _together_ together. 

Yes.

Yes.

Oh goodness and everything that is good and holy in this world,  _yes._

It comes as no surprise, like, come on, 9everyone has eyes, they can take one look and  _know._ The old geezers think they are so subtle in their little hiding hidey ways, but really, they're the last people walking and breathing on this face of the earth to know that they should date. Someone started a shrine over at the education department because at a point, only divine intervention could help them all.  _These old geezers are so goddamn **blind.**_  Gods, deities, spiritual and cult leaders, Kim Jaehwan, please, anyone, deliver them from their sins and save these poor mortals from further perpetuated suffering.

Old people pining after each other is gross enough. Old people flirting and defending that they're not while wondering why people are sobbing in misery around them is simply the worst. 

Woojin had suggested a forced intervention where they just tell Jisung he's not being exactly subtle about the heart eyes, but Jihoon who luckily still has brain cells left in the merry band of brothers, shot that idea down. It's less of an idea and more of a suicide plan, because Taewoong. That's it. That's everything anyone needs to know about coming in between his weird courtship rituals in regards to Jisung. Jaehwan himself engages in weird flirting routes and he still doesn't know the fuck is happening with that whole  _thing._

If Jaehwan has to see another heart eye episode he's going to rip this icy pole in sixes and hurl all of the iced bits onto Jisung's perfectly styled hair he swear to god -

"I think that's enough," Taewoong says, out of nowhere.

Jisung's soles squeak uncomfortably on the pavement. Guan Lin not so subtly begins to walk in a brisker pace, leaving Jaehwan and the ongniel couple™ with the soon to be bickering old married pair.

Jae didn't ask to be the middle man. This is far far beyond his tolerance range and emotional processing. He can't. He literally  _cannot._

"I think so too," Jisung replies, very solemnly, like he's about to throw someone in jail.

Oh god these assholes are going to break up before they're even dating and now they're thinking assets in their asshole lawyer brains and which child goes to who it's done it's over there is no peace to be had on this mortal realm anymore someone please knife him -

"Why is the divorce coming before the wedding?" He hears Seungwoo whispering frantically to Daniel. "They can't do this to me I was going to be the rice boy."

Daniel doesn't reply. He sounds like he's choking up. Probably from all the bullshit he's subjected to.

Jaehwan feels the same. Deep in his non-existent heart.

"We've tortured them enough," Taewoong says in this horrible and dreadful monotone and nobody really know how to react in the first ten seconds at the delivery of that ominous line.

Jisung and Daniel don't dignify any of them actual words anymore. They just start guffawing on the footpath, clutching their stomachs. 

 _"Wait what the fu-"_ Ong chokes as Guan Lin shushes him.

"I demand answers," Jaehwan puts a foot down. "I am very confused and visibly upset."

Jisung hacks out a watery smile and has to be dragged up by Daniel, still giggling. He's giggling so hard Jaehwan can't see his eyes, which, _concerning._

"We've been trolling you," Taewoong informs him morosely, in the same tone that one would say the words  _your father had just passed away from a horrible disease and you have our condolences as hospital staff._

"Hyung, I know you think that your voice is the most expressive thing on the planet but it really isn't, I can't tell if you're joking or -"

His sentence is cut short by Jisung grinning at him, flashing the Jisung Promise Ring, its twin twinkling on Taewoong's finger.

Oh hell no.

Oh hell _no._  

"Oh my god you had your engagement and you didn't even tell us," Seungwoo sobers up, the sheer shock of the Promise Rings being given to a worthy receiver retaining the highest priority in his brain. "That's against the bro code."

 _"You gave away your ring?"_ Jaehwan doesn't have it in him to be shocked anymore. He broke down way too long ago when this shitstorm went down and he got sucked right in the middle of it.  _"The Ring?"_

"From how much he's screaming you'd think it's like, the Master Ring," Guan Lin scoffs. "And why are you surprised. Didn't you know about them?"

Two incredulous and utterly scandalised pairs of eyes whip to him. The corner of the child's mouth sours and he buries his hands in his hoodie's pocket, drawing his shoulders up.

"I just thought it was obvious. No one wear matching gold rings on their ring fingers with platonic or brotherly feelings attached," he tells them. "You guys were just too busy in the whole Jaehwan Shebang to notice the rings. Everyone was actually distracted by that. Only me and Jihoon-hyung did and we were like, oh good riddance. Finally."

"You," Jaehwan wags a finger at Jisung, "we are going to have word."

Jisung smiles, hearing the apology in his brusque tone. "Anything you want, love."

"And you," Seungwoo screeches, throwing himself in between Taewoong and Jisung, his beloved brother, "stay approximately three people away from him. No hand holding, no kissing in public or private, no hugging, keep to the daylight rules. All your dates are to be chaperoned!"

"They are the chaperones though," Guan Lin points out.

"And I think you're being a little unreasonable," Daniel reminds him gently. "Come on, don't make that face, he's not your junior. He's old enough to handle himself. Leave my hyung be."

Jisung loops an arm through Jaehwan's elbow. 

"Let's go get Dae and Jinnie for brunch," he grins. "I'll regale you all with what went on behind the scene when your emotional rollercoaster was in motion."

 _It's alright,_ he squeezes Jaehwan's arm,  _you're alright. We're alright._

Jaehwan believes him. Jisung's good for him like that.

(It doesn't stop him and Seungwoo ganging up on Taewoong for a fierce staredown at the table where Guan Lin unknowingly dragged Jisung away to order food, their gazes mutually disapproving and critical of Choi Taewoong.  _Is he worthy though? Can he handle Jisung at his worst?_

"Oi," someone knocks on the backs of Jaehwan's head, Jisung's face appearing by his left ear, "stop with the laser eyes. Don't be rude."

Taewoong heroically doesn't react to anything that was said about him or to him that day. And many days after that. Jaehwan reluctantly accepts him as his inevitable mother-in-law as he smashes the bridge in Goodbye Road.)

 

The babies are fine. Or, as fine as their dysfunctional ways can get. Now that Daehwi has Jinyoung on retainer he's a bit less likely to run headfirst into lucrative investigative schemes (nosying around other's business to feed the semi-sentient being that is the gossip mill). Woojin actually sleeps and eats at semi-regular hours during the day and that made Jisung and Jaehwan broke down in proud tears at Hyeongseob's text that was just a photo of him and Woojin out for barbecue. It was huge, alright, and they're proud brothers of a stubborn mule, so they're allowed to cry.

Matchmaking is - well.

Couples flit in and out of Jaehwan's mind - courtesy of there being too many of them and he stopped keeping track a long time ago (somebody is, or somebodies, are keeping track of his success rates, seeing Jooe and Nancy with their little sparkly notebooks and Eunjin critically staring him down from her soccer game with a marker uncapped - and that's why the underworld society of students keep flocking to him for matchmaking services - Daehwi had begun charging them actual fees, but Jae shot that exploitation scheme down and asked for favours or food instead - it all works out).

 

Anyways, Sungwoon had just finished the song for his graduate program. Taehyun almost sobbed in actual literal tears when they were doing that joined Facetime call to him all the way in Jeju - some field work Hojung, their actual son, had, and the three of them just took that one opportune time to have a mini family holiday with the riches Taehyun and Sungwoon have swimming in their joined married couple's bank account.  

"So you have lyrics already?" Jaehwan asked him, outside of the biology building where Jihoon was holed in.

"Roughly, but my job here is done so I'm passing all the troubles of writing complicated emotions to you and Seongri," Sungwoon cheerfully chirped and scolded Hojung who was offscreen for chasing a bird. "Have fun with it!"

"Wait no hyung what -"

So that was the song. That he's still struggling with, guitar on his lap and micro business assignment on the bench next to him, spread open and obviously mocking him, from the notebook to the instrument. Seongri's number blocked him out by the 50th text and 10th call he made, which, unjustified, and so he's stuck struggling by himself. So far Daniel and Jinyoung had passed by him three times in a very obvious byway of checking up on him, see if he lost his last collected marble. It's a nice gesture, seeing that Daehwi and Seungwoo are both in exam rooms that physically bar them from sprinting to his side in fervent jogs of loud love declarations, partly because they're that enthusiastic about giving him obvious signs of affection, and mostly because they're embarrassing little shits who want to make the rest of the campus think that yes, Kim Jaehwan keeps a harem of excessively affectionate lovers who will tear any contenders to shred if they so as much come near him. 

The brothers were given talks about how that's vaguely incestuous and also too overbearing. It came through like water pouring on a duck's head. It seems that the Serious Uniting Speech only works once and now all words given out by him through his mouth are rendered useless in the face of adversarial gossipmongers and troublemakers like the friends and brothers he attained into adulthood. 

Daniel passes by again, but this time with a radio. Jaehwan doesn't bother to not see him, rolling his eyes as Daniel gives him a snappy salute, paired with a playful wink. What a lovable bastard. That fool Ong really lucked out with this one. 

Actually, everyone lucked out. He himself hasn't much, but he fought his way out of the depressive episodes. That should count as a win, shouldn't it?

Jaehwan's close to giving up on making this bastard of a song a happy thing. It sounds like a limbo type of thing - halfway to happy, halfway to tragedy.

His fingers start playing the chords for Beautiful, that dreadful thing he bullied Jinyoung into singing and got the yellow light from Yeonjung with a quirked eyebrow of 'are you feeling okay'.

 _This foolishly regret-filled song_  
_I hope it reaches the sky_  
_My prayer that spent all night in tears_  
_I hope it reaches your heart_

Wait no, he needs to cover other people's songs now. His own are too sad.

His fingers find themselves to Ed Sheeran, strumming the familiar chords. Gosh, how long was it that he sang Ed's songs? Ages and ages ago.

Someone sits by his side, humming to the melody.

 _All my senses come to life_  
_While I'm stumbling home as drunk as I_  
_Have ever been and I'll never leave again_  
_'Cause you are the only one_  
_And all my friends have gone to find_  
_Another place to let their hearts collide -_

"Just promise me, you'll always be a friend," Seungwoo sways side to side. 

"'Cause you are the only one," Jaehwan finishes, throwing himself into another song. "Loving can hurt -"

"Wait no finish the other one," Seungwoo whines while a pair of hands throw themselves around his neck. 

 _"Loving can hurt sometimes!"_ Daehwi screams in one of his ears. "But it's the only thing that I know ~!"

Jaehwan rolls his eyes.

 _When it gets hard_  
_You know it can get hard sometimes_  
_It is the only thing that makes us feel alive_

"We keep this love in a photograph. We made these memories for ourselves," Daniel joins in, cheekily grinning all the while. 

"Where our eyes are never closing, hearts are never broken and times forever frozen still," Jihoon croons.

Seongri and Sungwoon come out of nowhere, arms spread wide dramatically. They even sing like opera singers.

 _So you can keep me_  
_Inside the pocket_  
_Of your ripped jeans_  
_Holdin' me closer_  
_'Til our eyes meet_  
_You won't ever be alone_  
_Wait for me to come home_

 _Ah well,_ Jaehwan joins in all the ruckus and screaming for song requests, someone should take a photo of us. We look like a bunch of idiots. 

Eunki had texted someone that they should sing Sam Smith. Woojin promptly turned off all the phones.

 

There is a rite of passage people go through in this university.

Ong Seungwoo or Hwang Minhyun. Arguably the two most beautiful males on campus. 

Almost everyone, everyone, because these two together comprise of the entire spectrum of paragon and beauty and aesthetics and nobody can escape their thrall. Nobody. They're all weak-hearted fools here at this university and there is no escape from the Big Two.

Everyone had this passing fancy for either one or both of the Big Two. It's a rite of passage. Have a crush, realise you're being silly, move on with your life and have more realistic goals about romantic pursuits.

Jaehwan joins in the ranks of normally dysfunctional uni students after he too, is over his own gigantic, clusterfuck-worthy of a delusional crush-not-really-was-it-though rollercoaster ride of feelings for Hwang Minhyun.

Sitting at the swings again, they're both sharing a pair of earphones. Left for Jaehwan, right for Minhyun. They've been meeting like this, time and again. Sometimes talking, sometimes just sitting side by side. Existing together. Being friends and not really and more - all at once.

The lyrics he composed for Sungwoon play over the frequencies in their ears.

It's called Spring Breeze.

Jaehwan closes his eyes and listens for the pitter patter of his heart. It tells him to go somewhere.

Reaching out his hand and turning his body, he crashes into Minhyun. They blink at each other, owlish, knocked away from their reverie within the song - the lyrics, sung by Jaehwan, croon in their ears -

 _That voice calling me_  
_I’ll keep my ears up for it_  
_That gaze searching for each other_  
_I’ll miss it_  
_Even so, what remains clear is the first flutter of love_

"Uh," Jaehwan very intelligently says, "sorry."

Minhyun stares at him, dark and deep eyes saying much and nothing at all. The voice inside his heart tells him to go somewhere, but he doesn't know where - all roads lead to a place, a person, that Jaehwan doesn't know of.

"It's alright," something like  _destination_ flashes before his eyes.  _We're alright_ rings in the air.

Jaehwan feels cold and warm all at once inside and out. The song keeps on playing.

_I’m not afraid_   
_We know each other’s hearts well_   
_Don’t worry, because I care more about you_   
_Than anyone else_

_We’ll meet again_  
_When the spring spreeze passes_  
_I’ll smile brightly_  
_When the spring breeze passes_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THAT'S A WRAP, EVERYONE!!!!! MINHWAN IS BACK TO THEIR FORMER GLORIES SEPARATELY AND TOGETHER THEY'VE ASCERTAINED THAT THERE ARE ENOUGH GROUNDS TO WORK TOWARDS SOMETHING *MORE* BUT THAT'S UP TO THEM IN THE FUTURE, WHICH IN MY MIND IS THE BEST WAY TO END THINGS BECAUSE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS AND IT CAN GO ANYWAY THE TWO OF THEM DECIDE TO GO. KINDA GLAD I GOT THIS DONE BEFORE THE DREADED 31ST BECAUSE THEN I'LL BE TOO SAD TO EVEN DO ANYTHING BUT IT'S HERE, FINISHED, A JOURNEY COMPLETED, AND I CAN'T THANK ALL OF YOU ENOUGH TO STICKING AROUND AND SEEING THIS FUN PROJECT OF MINE GO THROUGH A MILLION SPEED BUMPS AND EMERGENCY BREAKS!!! I WILL STILL BE AROUND AND WRITING, BUT IF YOU WANT TO TALK OR SCREAM, MY CONTACT DETAILS ARE [Twitter](https://twitter.com/jarofactonbell), [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/jenny_benny)

**Author's Note:**

> [Find me on Twitter](https://twitter.com/jarofactonbell)   
>  [Curious Cat!!!](https://curiouscat.me/jenny_benny)
> 
> This fic is being translated into Russian and any of y'all who can read Russian can have a read [here](https://ficbook.net/readfic/6468867)  
> 


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